"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Even Typing Hurts...

I'm still on the road to recovery. I have been in a haze for a few days. I lost a week of my life, and I'm not quite sure where it went. I remember sleeping. I remember Nick at Night. Growing Pains. Cosby Show. Coughing. Peeing on all my clothes, and blankets. Starting my period. Hacking up a lung. Going to emergency. A painful burning shot. Oprah. Feeding the dog. A rabbit in my face.

Then it's like I woke up, and there was spilled puke on my carpet, trash everywhere, 24 popsicle sticks, and several empty water bottles. The puke wont come out with the steam cleaner. I also found several dog accidents, along with a few of my own accidents too. I think it's the fact that my dosage was one teaspoon of cough syrup every 6 hours and I was taking 2 every four hours. The codine knocked me out. It's the only sleep I could get. What the hell is one teaspoon going to do, when I am coughing so hard I'm peeing myself, throwing up, bursting blood vessels, and getting hemorroides? Have I mentioned the lady-like fact that my asshole is on fire? From coughing so hard? Hello?

I've got blood coming out of every orafice, my nose, my lips, my ass, my you know who cus it's my time of the month. I feel like absolute hell. Yet, I got up and drug myself into work today to make up some hours. I don't get paid for being sick. I'm still 'new' and I have no sick time. I'm so screwed with 1 weeks worth of pay to cover a months worth of bills. It's always gotta be something.

Last weekend me and CP had a talk about seeing other people. He feels that it's why I'm holding back moving in with him again, and it's part of it. I wonder what else is out there, if I'm meant to be with someone else. I dunno that I want to be tied down. I don't want to have him move in and then have to have him move out again, its not fair to either of us. I like living alone. I would also like to be able to go out with other people, and see if that's what I feel I need to do. I'm not getting any younger. I think I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Seeing the ex husband also helped kick me in the ass. There is no reason I can't have everything I want, I just have to work towards it and stop expecting it to happen to me, and make it happen for me.

Until next time..... watch out for that norovirus. It's a mother fucker.


Janet said...

Ugh. That virus sounds horrible. Of course sounding and feeling horrible are two completely different things. I am just sitting over here, reading about it. I hope you're feeling 100% soon!:)

Anonymous said...

Did you hear about bret michaels and his werid groupies?

Becca at Hothousemomma