"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, July 21, 2006

Math Wiz on Math...

I'm at Wendy's yesterday, my new favorite place because they have that Frescata turkey sandwhich. I swear I was only there for 2 minutes, they had me in and out of that drive thru. The person collecting my money, had the change ready before I got to the window. Like mind readers.

It brought back horrible visions of my days of slinging tacos at Taco Bell. This was back before we had two drive thru windows. They always wanted what they called 'an outside cashier'. You wore a change belt, like some freaking carnie at a fair, and took people's money in the line, before they got to the food window. All in the interest of keeping a 30 second drive thru time.

Have I ever mentioned I was tutored specifically in third grade, for counting money? There's a reason for that, I suck at it. I know there is 4 quarters in a dollar but anything else will take me some time to consider before answering. So, when my name was on the schedule to work outside, I felt ill. The manager would give me a quick run through..

MGR: "Here, see, you get the coins ready, so if they give you bills you have the coins ready, and you only have to count the cash. If they give you $1 over the amount then the change is already counted. For exampe, if the bill is 2.68, get 32 cents out in case they give you $3. If they give you $5 then you have the change ready, just count backwards their bills, for $2.32 in change."

Me: sweating..."UHH...HUH??????"

She acted like it was common knowledge to be able to count money in your head like that. It got to the point where I'd ask the freaking customer if their change was right! Is that right??? Who knows how much money I gave out, and who cares. It was their fault for making me do it. They tried to give me a calculator, but who wants to look like a moron doing that? Not me. In the future when I became a manager, I NEVER got the safe to balance. People could have been robbing us blind and I'd have been nonethewiser!

I had the male step aerobics teacher again. Hee hee. I don't like him cus he doesn't do warm up or cool down stretches much at all, and the class is not an hour anymore, its 35-40 minutes. We're being ripped off. Plus today I don't feel like I'm losing weight anymore. Same BS I ran into last time I was working out all the time. What. The. Fuck. This is why I do NOT weigh myself!

Do you know the #1 search on my blog hits is "theres a million fine looking women in the world, but they don't all bring you lasagna to work" I get at least 1 hit a day for that phrase, it is of course, from the movie Clerks. Silent Bob's words of wisdom. I decided to finally mention it today since Clerks II opens!

Remember in the Wizard of Oz, when the wicked witch melted into a pool of nothing but her hat and broom stick from being splashed with water? "I'm mellllting, melllllting". Too bad she was a freaking wuss, and water doesn't hurt anybody. Heat, on the other hand, is a whole different story! People really DO die from this shit! What is up with the heat lately? I hear it's hot everywhere! I live in the Northeast. Why the fuck does it have to be in the 90's? Why is the humidity 90%? I'm sorry, that's an exxageration..today it's actually 84% humidity. Silly girl. It's hard to even breathe in weather like this.

To feel for me, you should just go to your bath tub, fill it up with hot water, dunk your head, and open your mouth and take a deep breath. Then, you'll understand what it's like to be 105 with 90% humidity. Sunday I walked on the treadmill, no running, and I got the dry heaves from the heat, and had trouble breathing. What's the trick to this? I see people running all the time in the heat of the sun outdoors....I don't see them gagging. Speaking of torture, the back of my knee is killing me from that man who taught our step class Tuesday. We didn't warm up. Well maybe we started slow, but there was no stretching! I wonder if I can sue them for my pain and discomfort?

It's sick how hot it is. It's so hot, they have emergency heat information flashing on the TV screen during the day. Guess what? I hate being hot! Why can't the world be air conditioned? I want to live in a bubble of cool goodness, a nice 65 degrees will do me.

What are your tricks to keeping cool? For my rabbits, they get frozen 2 liter bottles in front of a fan, and marble tiles, that I put in the freezer to keep cool longer. Must be nice to be a rabbit! I wish someone would supply me with icey tiles to lounge on all day. If they did, I would at least show them some gratitude by pooping in my litterbox ALL the time, and not leaving presents around for anyone to clean up!

This is how Fizzgig deals with the heat. She's adorable.

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supplymadam said...

My dog sleeps just like your cat because he's long.
My first job was MacDonalds and I had the same problem because back then the cash register didn't figure out the change. I was never taught how to do change. I too sweated bullets. I was 14 what did I know?
I am a big advocate of hating the heat too. We have a pool and I prefer to stay inside in the A/C. I don't even want to go outside. I know it's stupid.
My dopey dog doesn't know enough to come in when it's hot especially if the neighbors are in their yard. He insisits on running back and forth the length of the fence and barking his head off. I usually have to bring him in bodily otherwise his tongue will be hanging to the floor.
Also the humidity is not hair friendly especially my fine wavy hair. Tons of product is needed in the summer.
Although NY is not nearly as hot as where you are,we do have our share of humidity,especially here on Long Island surrounded by water. I am not complaining because we have the beaches here but if it's too hot I won't go there either.

Celina said...

I think we've been over this before, but your cat is BE-U-TI-FUL!!
And, 100+ degrees & 50%+ humidity is our weather EVERYDAY. Cuz that's how we do it in the Dirty South! :)
I also worked at Taco Bell, but, had they asked me to be a "Change Carnie" I would've quit on the spot! (In a college town, that's just Dangerous!) Of course, being the only "white girl" working there, I probably stood out anyways.

Mon said...

It's so adorable when they lay on their backs. My dog does it too. Only I think it's cus she's so chubby. All my pets are stupid, I have the AC on in the living room, and they hang out in the bedroom that is closed off and hot. Not even in the downstairs which is much cooler. Idiots! I'm the same way with the heat, I wouldn't go to the beach because I don't like sweating at the beach, the sand sticks to you! But if I had my own pool......hmmmmm that may be different! An end needs to come to this heat wave!! Cripes, the cash register didnt figure change? Um, I'd be fired! ha ha ha

Thanks for the compliment on my precious, moms can never hear enough how adorably cute their kids are you know. Um, 100 degrees is unholey. Are you sure you don't live in hell? How do you function?
Being the outside cashier was the worst job ever!