Nothin' But Mammals....

I was out on break this morning. Talking to two girls. And being happy with the person I am. I listened to them complain about sex with their husband/fiance. Say what? I'm glad this isn't me. You wonder why there is so much infidelity in the world. How about trying to enjoy sex? I mean, what's so friggin bad about it? If it's so bad you have to complain about it, maybe you're with the wrong person. It's meant to be a mutually gratifying experience.

I could never in a bazillion years (thats a long time) say I didn't wanna have sex with the man. I mean, it frustrates me that someone can make me feel the way he does. He's got that kinda control. It's that good. I just wanna scratch out his eyes. And, I mean that in a loving way.

Back to my break..one girl was complaining because since having her baby in May she hasn't been able to do the deed. She hadn't done said deed for several months prior, due to being hella pregnant and uncomfortable. So, almost a year. With. No. Sex. And, it's too painful after having a baby. I piped in, that this is one of 10 billion reasons I have no desire to have children. They ruin your va-jay-jay. Wanna know what she said? It's not the baby that did it. I think it's the misery loves company club, because people with kids say "it's no different at all" but let's be honest here. When I buy pantyhose, I have to struggle to get the fucking things on my legs. Inch by inch. Pulling, stretching. Once I take them off? They are stretched out and the next time I put them on it's way easier. You can't tell me that pushing out a baby doesn't stretch your insides out. I'm not that stupid. If it didn't happen, there wouldn't be vaginal rejuvination surgery.

On a happier note. I had a fantastical evening with my sweetpea. I just love spending time with him. We went to the store to get some stuff for the weekend, food and snacks. Fuel for in between our sexcapades. Did I just say that out loud? I am so totally excited, getting away with him is going to be the best time. He did screw my tree back in the wall for me. All manly and stuff. Yep. Boys are good at screwing stuff. That man does it for me alright. And as long as I keep doing it for him, we'll be perfectly happy!

I keep forgetting to mention my dream about the man. I dreamt I was in the hospital, and there was a serial killer on the loose, hacking up patients left and right. I remember thinking I was trapped and I couldn't leave and I was going to be murdered, and in on a white horse (well ok, there wasn't a horse) came the man, and he picked me up and carried me away. He totally rescued me from being murdered. How adorable is that? He's my heeeero.