"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Well, If your drunk enough to Crap Yourself...

It wasn't me. I know I might like to have some wine each night, but that doesn't make me a drunk. Right? No, I entered the police report from Monday night, you know the one where I was bombarded with people? The drunk old man a.k.a "grandpa" couldn't stand, and blew a .19 BAL. When I had to go back to the booking room I saw the cute cop (remember, I'm not blind) hand him some paper towels and tell him to clean himself up. Apparently, it was because he shit himself. Now, I've been so drunk that I've puked on myself, I have even peed in public, or a couple times, on myself. But shitting? You have to be pretty damn drunk to crap yourself. And it happened in transit to the police station. I think it's safe to say that there is never a dull moment. I met a new OIC last night (that's officer in charge to you common civilians)

Did I mention how a guy we know got his car broken into? And had some prescription sunglasses and a roll of duct tape taken? I entered his police report, he really listed the duct tape with a value of .99 cents. So he's been investigating it daily. Looking up the type of shoe prints in the snow tracks, and yesterday he took in a portfolio of information about this special Nike shoe. Working at the police station has it's perks. I also found out my former boss.....(my friends will find this hard to believe) was in the computer for a road rage case. Yea, my former boss! Road Rage. I knew she was too nice, she had to have a dark side. She lives practically next door to my second job, so I know it was her address.

What do I hate about my job, besides working after work? Gum. I find gum to be one of the most foul things ever invented. I don't know why or how my hatred for the shit started, but it did, and it's real. I can't stand the smell, the way people look or sound chewing it, the way it sounds when people pop it or slosh it around with their spit in their mouths. I don't like the packaging, or even touching anything I know the packaging has touched. Or, touching things I know someone chewing it has touched. It totally disgusts me, and I am not afraid to admit it. It takes me forever to not be grossed out about kissing someone who has had it in their mouth. People don't seem to get that either. I know my ex husband thought it was funny once to hide it from me, and put it in my mouth. You would have thought I was on fire the way I screamed.

I don't know why I'm like that, and I don't care to know. I know that I am, and you should stay the fuck away from me with that stuff in or out of your mouth. The girl I've been training with, always chews it. What's worse, I share a common computer and desk with everyone. I have to touch things she's touched. AND, she is she is forever taking the shit out of her mouth, and putting it places. Like, on a pop can. Or a water bottle lid. Or a chip bag. Then after an hour or so, she'll put it back in her mouth. I swear, I could puke. Why is this acceptable? What if
I started half eating my food? I could chew up some hamburger real nice, and pop it out of my mouth and start leaving it lay around for people to look at, and when I feel like it, I can put it back in my mouth and finish chewing on it. Seriously people, this is like the same thing! GROSS!

It makes my skin crawl. Now that I know she does that, nothing is safe. I have to be one of those freaks who carries around clorox wipes, and clean everything. I really don't care how I look, at least I wont be contaminated by gum. Ick. It's not funny to tease me with either. I seriously could explode, and I wont be held responsible for my actions.

3 comments:

supplymadam said...

Gum chewing is the worst. I hate seeing someone chew it and especially when they snap it. If someone is behind me on a line snapping away I look at them with a "disgusted look". I can't believe no one ever said anything to these rude human beings. Unless they want someone to say something just so they can "get ino it" with them. And that lady sticking her gum all over the place,how pathetic. Who the hell needs to look at that.
It sounds like that old guy has bigger problems from years of drinking like burning the lining of his intestines from years of alcohol.

Celina said...

Oh, man! I can't even imagine how hard it is to work all the hours you're doing!! Just know, I'm sending happy thoughts your way!
And, I am one of those Gum-Chewers. But, I NEVER put it down or "slosh" it around in my mouth. I just chew on it until my mouth tastes fresh, then I wrap it in paper and throw it away. :)

Jess said...

There's nothing grosser than someone taking chewing gum out of his/her mouth, letting it sit around, and then putting it back in. Ugh.