"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Monday, June 26, 2006

I'm Officially Disinfected...

Since you care, a recap of my weekend. I saw the Omen on Friday. CP took me on a date. Dates are fun. It was a way better evening than it started out to when I woke up in the morning. I didn't win anything in that stupid work auction, but I jacked some prices up for charity. I care that much! Really, I forgot to rebid after lunch, and some jackass won this chest I wanted for a penny more than my bid. Dicks!! I decided God loves me. Because in the morning, I wanted to eat an entire chocolate cake. There was one for auction, that I did not buy (one, it was $20 and two, I really would have ate it all). The president ended up buying it and let us all have some. So, Bethie got me a peice of yummy cake. God loves me, because he knew I didn't need to eat a whole cake. It was perfect timing.

Around 7:30 we went to the Canal Boat for Tayray's big 2-5 (ya old fart). We sat outside on the deck, overlooking the canal. I kept saying it's just like we're on the lake! Only, it's the canal! The canal flooded when we had a storm a night or two previous. It flooded the entire parking lot they just spent like a million bucks building.

After a few drinks, me, Kat and Bubba shared the pisser, it was 2ft by 4 ft room with 1 shitter. When we went in, I sprayed a tiny bit of Lysol. Just to freshen it up for us. When my turn rolls around to piss, Bubba decides to exfixiate us all by laying on the Lysol!! Nonstop. Of course, it's making us laugh, and cough, and the more we laugh, the more we inhale, and the higher I think we got. We kept saying stop, trying to breathe in our shirts, to no avail. I kept yelling that my vagina didn't need to be disinfected. And after a while, I just gave up. I said "Mmmmmm..it tastes sweet". Only someone high off of Lysol would think that shit tasted good!

Tayray left way early and we were all still kicking it. The old 30 yr-old-farts, that is. She did wanna go to another bar, but it was too far for anyone drinking to drive to, and still have a good time once we got there. We were 1 mile from our house and if you get too shitfaced, you can walk your butt home. Bubba, Kat, Dave, and me went to the Bier Haus. I offered to take Tayray but they bought beer for home and didn't wanna go out then. I kicked some ass at silver strike bowling. Only the first game, I got a 169! After that I didn't beat everyone. But we all beat Bubba! We spent the night taking photos of our cleavage, and groping each other. They kept asking why my ass was hard. I said I work really hard at that, and they too could have hard asses. I wonder if we embaressed poor Dave with our PDA? I took the most awesome video of Bubba dancing to 'Riding Dirty'. Sadly, I deleted it. I blame them for taking a billion pictures of each others asses. It took me forever to delete them, and that was a casualty of war. It was funny. Oh well.

After we left there, I went to the bell, and ate in the parking lot w/Kat and Dave. Then I went to see CP at his night job. He put a sign on the door saying he'd be back in 5 minutes, and locked up. We had some semi-public sex in the women's bathroom. It was awesome, and way more important than any drunks that needed gas or lottery..they could fuck off, right? The beer cave was pretty inviting, but CP said there are cameras in there. I really don't wanna be the next Paris Hilton. Well...I wouldn't mind looking like that, but you know what I mean!

I leave you with this fact: Sugar free creamsicles suck balls. You can totally tell they are sugar free. The cream tastes like frozen sour cream, and the popsicle part tastes like frozen kool aid w/no sugar! Bleh. Opt for the sugar free fudgcicles. You cannot tell they are only 40 calories!!!! Well worth it!

Chelsea goes to the vet again today. Get the abscess drained. Yum.

7 comments:

Tayray said...

Had you called like five minuetes earlier about the bier haus, we would of went, but we spent 15 bucks at circle K for beer. I really wanted to go to the Pub. I was up and waiting for you guys, but I didnt get Bubba's text message until morning.

Bub said...

Heather nooooo not my Vagina!!! Heather my Vagina!!! It Burns!!!
hahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahaha

Mon said...

Tayray:

I was in the pisser when you called. Still delerious from the Lysol incident.

Bubba:

Yea, real funny. Paybacks a bitch! It DID burn!!!!!

Dave said...

Youse guys didn't embaress me. Fun times I say.

Rachel said...

Hope Chelsea is okay.

I agree about sugar-free. I mean, if we're going to eat stuff like ice cream, it's SUPPOSED to have stuff like sugar and fat in it!

Anonymous said...

I want to hear more about he 5 minute bathroom break. (snicker)

Mon said...

Dave:
You stopped by! Nice to see you, glad you weren't embaressed, we are good at that sometimes!

Rachel:
True, if your gonna be bad, be really bad!

Anonymous:
Ok you perv! You are lucky I know who you are! You had a birds eye view of the situation. TMI? Nah!