"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Having a Heart...

There are a few times it sucks to be single. Like, when you have to fix a deadbolt yourself because you live in the ghetto and don't want to wait for the landlord, and all you have is a phillips screwdriver. (btw why is it called a phillips???)

Or when giant spiders transcend from the ceiling.... you wake up from a bad dream... raw chicken needs to be cut up... you want someone to take care of you when you are sick... or you need sex.

Usually, I embrace single. All those things can be done on your own, as much as it may suck. But sometimes there are things that make me wish I had a man around.

Like when I came home to find one of my cats hovered in the corner near the fridge, over a tiny field mouse caught in a mousetrap.

Now, a couple years ago I had mice in the winter, and I caught several of them fine and disposed of them, while I didn't enjoy it, I could handle it. And it didn't stick with me that I was a murderer.

This time, the mouse was not dead. It's little mouse head was just caught in the trap but it was squeaking tiny squeaks of pain, and breathing heavily. After much avoidance, and hoping it would be out of its misery on its own, I had to put on my big girl pants, a pair of gloves and pick it up in a shopping bag, while chanting "omg I am so sorry little mouse, I am so so sorry" over and over.

Instead of disposing of it in the trash, I set it free out in the woods behind my house. I am not sure how free the mouse was, seeing that it was already smashed in a trap.

Sometimes, I do not enjoy my ginormous heart, that embraces all walks of life. Even rodents.

Yes, I understand nature, and the circle of life, and nature states, that cats and other predators should kill mice.

I have four cats.

I am certain I am never going to get the horrific feeling out of my heart. Kinda like the time when I was 7, and I accidentally stepped on a toad, who also did not die, but suffered grave injuries. Or the time I hit a squirrel years back, that ran into my tires while I was driving! I think about these things all the time!

In the end, I have learned a valuable lesson that I can share with other people forced to keep their homes free of mice, that hate to be murdereres.

These traps, are quite easy to set, one touch, and quite convenient. But obviously, they do not kill very quickly, and cause them to suffer.


Debbie @ Live from La Quinta said...

That's why I'm vegetarian.

(we've got two indoor cats,and about a dozen ferals that my husband feeds, so we get all kinds of presents. I agree that sometimes it's good to have a man around.)

Rachel said...

We had a random mouse 2 weeks ago. And our cats seriously cornered it.... up a freakin' wall! I freaked out. Thank God, the BF was home to hear my screams and come running.