Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Is No News Good News?...
I slept like crap last night. I slept good Saturday and Sunday, with the manfriend. I feel safe with him. Why does he have to make me like him so much?
Still no word on my little kitter butt. Thank you for all the kind thoughts. Keep us in your daily thoughts. I firmly believe in the law of attraction.
I also believe that every bad/tragic thing happens for a reason, and the thing to ask during these times is.."what leasson am I to learn from this". Which, I've been asking the universe this. Nothing comes to mind whatsoever. I really thought (with my morbid mind) I would find a dead body in the woods while searching. Maybe I was meant to find someones missing person on my search for my missing cat? Really, that's how I think.
My gut tells me that she is ok, somewhere. My eyes hurt from crying so much. My manfriend put a cold three olives bottle on my swollen eyes when he was there. That's love.
My efforts last night consisted of me grabbing two grocery bags of used cat litter, a baggie, and making a Hansel and Gretel trail of stinkies in the woods behind my house. At the time I didn't find the humor in it. Now, it is kind of funny. But, nothing I wouldn't do for my kitty to come home!
I read online that indoor cats usually stay within a 5 house radius and will not come when you call them, no matter what you think your cat would or wouldn't do. And they'd rather starve than come out of hiding. The best thing to do is to make the territory smell like theirs. She may look big but she's a tiny little thing under all that fur.
I'm most sad that her babies are sad. When they hear each other's bells, they look like, ..."Mom?"... They stare out the windows, and I know its not the usual cat window watching because it's at night. They aren't even comforting each other. When Fizzgig was home, they were a happy cat pile of purrs. Now, they are separated, and seem to be pissed at each other. They aren't even sleeping with me, and it use to be a struggle to fit all their fluffy butts on my pillow at night. She's the furry kitty glue that holds the family together.
I feel like she is OK. I have to keep positive about it. That's all I can do. I read countless stories online yesterday about cats who are gone weeks, months, years and they were indoor cats too. And I posted to my catster account that she is missing, and got lots of support from fellow kitty lovers there. Anyone kind enough to take in a lost cat, has to know that there is someone heartbroken that she is gone. Anyone have any returned animal stories? They make me feel better.
I went last Friday out with people from High School. But, I don't much feel like blogging it just yet. My heart still hurts. And, I feel guilty for going cus she got out sometime before I left.