Going Retro...

Friday I went roller skating with Tara and Heather from her work. I guess the other folks scheduled to go weren't able to hang like us. Their loss! I didn't feel much like kicking it, due to being down in the dumper about my manfriend situation. But I needed the laughs, and I'm so glad I went!

Some points from skating:

It's perfect that we didn't drink first like we had discussed. I can't imagine the injuries we'd have sustained.

Just like riding a bike. Only less safe.

I'm not 12 anymore. Don't bother trying to look cute when skating, because as an adult, it is exercise and you sweat. Profusely.

They don't have the same rules. You can skate fast and weave in and out of people all night and ultimately cause people to fall down.

If you do fall down, they have staff members or, "floor guards" who skate around with whistles, and blow tweet tweet tweet, to alarm oncoming skaters that there is a man down as they stand in front of you not helping you to get up.

I know that last part, because some kid made me fall, and almost squash them. Nevermind I took Tara with me hoping she'd stop my fall. Instead she just fell too. And we laughed. A lot. And tried to get up.

When I was 12, no one cared if you fell down, causing a massive pile up was the norm for people who biffed it. Kids are far too pampered today. Floor guards?

Getting up after a fall is hard to do. If you are over 10.

Even if you have a padded rump, falling still hurts.

Skating is awesome exercise!

They don't wait until the end of the night to turn on the ugly lights. They do it periodically.

Skating on carpet is an art, and its easier to just walk like an idiot.

When you are sweating profusely, you can catch some great air off the rink if you sit along side it, nice breeze.

People watching at the skatery is way better than the mall. Not many people fall on their asses at the mall.

Skate texting is probably more dangerous than text driving. Because you don't have a car to protect you from impact.

Skate texting is the thing to do.

I saw one of the cops from where I use to work part time. I still think that they are going to arrest me or something since I just quit going to work there one day. I doubt they even remember me!

Even if you are 33, you aren't allowed to leave the skatery and come back in. You get the same treatment.

The cool thing to do at like, 10 is to pretend you are giving a popcicle a blowjob, as your friends egg you on.

The cool thing to do as a 10 year old boy is to act like you have a penis and tell the girl what she is doing right/wrong. Seriously?

Snacks are cheap!

Heather is a super slow skater. We lapped her several times. Practice makes perfect.

I'm still hip, because I knew all the songs they played.

They still play four corners!

No one asked us to couple skate. Cute as we are, obviously our boobs were intimidating.

Some boy totally tried to feel me up from behind. I think I could have been arrested cus I'm guessing he was 12.

Brian Boytano was there. On rollerblades. I never saw anything like it.

Ok so it wasn't boytano but he was a really good skater.

Skates are different now, they aren't as high up.

I wasn't sore at all aside from the right side of my right foot from doing the turns.

There was a boy who had the biggest ass in history. If we had in/out privliges I would have gotten my camera to take pics. It was a bubbly butt. Classic.

We're totally going back. We had a lot of fun! I think it's the new way to spend a Friday night!