This weeks weight loss was 2lbs. Which brings me to a nice round 65lb weight loss! Yessss.
I'm going to see Red Wanting Blue tomorrow at the House of Blues. It's gonna be pretty sweet. I got bogo tickets for procrastinating. I'm spose to go with the manfriend but maybe a friend would want to go. It's hard to think happy thoughts about him, because he really hurt my feelings last night.
I just kinda have been evaluating things in my mind. Like how we don't get to see each other much and for the first time I don't feel like a priority. I feel like if this isn't moving towards more committment, I shouldn't be giving my all to it. And ultimately this is going to be the end of the relationship. When the one person who had optimism for the both of us loses it...bad things are bound to happen.
You know even fun things like, winning the lottery have been soured. I'd say lets get an island and run away together, and he's all for it. But, if you aren't ready to live with me, why would I take you on my island just because I am rich?
I'm completely confused about our whole relationship. He acts like he wants more with me. But then he tells me different. One of the things that attracted to me about him was he said "I know who I am and I know what I want". The more I know him the more I realize, either that's bullshit, or I'm not what he wants, and I deserve to know. Not be strung along so he can dump me for some skank one day.
I'm sure this gloom and doom will pass. I think I'm getting to the point where I want more, and someone, somewhere wants to give me what I want. All I can do is feel what I feel and let it pass. Life has a way of bringing you back to reality once in a while, and I guess I was due.
On a positive note, I'm going roller skating tonight with some girlfriends. Oh yea, we're bringing it back alright!