"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, March 31, 2008

So, My Legs Hurt, And That's a Good Enough Title..

One of these days, I'm going to invent two things. One, the ability to stop time. Because sometimes, there are moments you don't want to end. But I guess with stopping time there would be no progress, and sometimes things can actually get better. I'll also invent teleportation. It's 2008, and I'm kinda pissed this hasn't happened yet. Along with hovering cars and all that other crap that was suppose to be around by now. Those two things would enhance my life, and let's be honest, that's what is the most important!

The weekend went super fast. Friday night I did something different, and cleaned my carpets (again), and my apartment, and packed. Of course, I'm kidding, because I've been doing this forever. But, with working two jobs I hadn't been able to have things the way that I want them, so this has been a slow process. I'm thinking next weekend I'm going to tackle my garage. *dread*

I acutally worked out Friday night around 11. I almost didn't but I got my stinking 5 days in, and I felt fantastic for it. Part I'm not going to dwell on, but mention in passing? I gained 10 of the 50 lbs back. Probably more, since I weighed myself after working out damn near two hours for 5 days. I'm over it. That's what sitting on your ass 14 hours a day at work, and working out twice a week will get you. I won't blame my mom for feeding me. But kinda, yea, it's her fault too. Ha.

Saturday I got my hair done. Finally. I'm still going darker. Not sure that I love it, but I'd been getting it hilighted for about 3 years and it was just getting too light. You know you care.

I finished cleaning the house, and headed out to the big city to see my guy. It only took me 45 minutes vs. an hour to his Dad's. Bonus. Even better bonus, when I move closer to work, we'll be about a half hour apart. And, I drive a half hour to the mall, to work, to get my hair done, that's cake. Who doesn't love cake? Eeek!

It felt fantastic to feel his arms around me, and I kinda think the feeling was mutual. It really sucks that we can't see each other more, but I know in the long run, we are doing the right thing. How do I know? Because we are doing it. I trust the place I am right now. Questioning, and wondering would only drive me insane. I know my path. Know what else drives me insane? Holey cripes the man had on his toolbelt, weilding a power tool, and he was screwing a hole in his door, putting on a deadbolt, showin the muscles, and his sweet ass. *drool* Yea. Oh, I was sidetracked. Maybe it's cus my Dad was a plumber, and girls are spose to like guys like their dads? I dunno, I happen to love to see a man like that. And, it helps that my guy is super hot and sexy.

Sunday I helped his Mom unpack a truckton of his stuff, and I put his shelf lining in the kitchen and got all his stuff put away. I'm such a good helper. I even took boxes down to the trash. I deem this as my day's workout, and I don't feel bad for not doing anything else. It was as always hard to leave him. The long term side effects of being bitten by the love bug, are sometimes painful.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Country Mouse Makes Progress...

Do you think it's a sign that you live in the country, when you wash your car at the spray n wash, and step in a cow or horse patty? I mean, does this stuff happen in the city? It wasn't mud, because there was hay in it. I know what livestock poo looks like. The "oh shit what did I step in" factor, caused me to lose damn near a minute on my car wash countdown too. Unpleasant car washing experience. Then it rained all night. I didn't park in the garage.

I guess I'll take a poo patty over the noise, and hustle and bustle of living in a city. Finding a new place is challenging for me. I have pets, and I don't want to live in a city, or a huge apartment complex. I want what I want, and I'm not moving until I find it. I really like my place if I could fix the electric, and move it closer to work, I would.

I'm simply on fire this week with working out. I've done it every day. Back in the saddle! I feel absolutely fanatastic too. That's the best part! I've been pushing myself with intervals. Not to mention, I made the most bad-ass workout mix for the MP3 the boy gave me. It's got stuff like, bootylicious, on it. Yea, I don't think you're ready for this jelly.

I also have graduated to 3.5 miles in an hour. I use to barely make 3. And that's on a 5% incline. Then I do weights, and the balance ball stuff. And I got my new fitness magazine last night, so I tried these things where you stand on a kitchen chair and do lunges off them backwards. Yea. A chair. I'm gonna have buns of steel, or a broken hip. One of the two. I didn't do a damn thing but make my lunch last night after I worked out. I'm exhausted. I'd been packing boxes all week, and cleaning on top of workouts. I've come to the realization, that for one girl, I have entirely too much freaking stuff. My apt is literally packed with crap. Even my garage. And, I have two floors, m'kay?

My gripe about eating healthy is it is so freaking time consuming. You have to spend all this time thinking about what to make before it goes bad because everything is fresh. One, two, three mini-wheats..counting calories. Snacks, breakfast, lunch. Then preparing everything. It takes an hour out of my night just to make my freaking food for the next day. So, about 3 hours a night is devoted to working out/eating. No wonder no one does it. Not to mention, it costs about $70 a week, vs. my usual $30 budget. I won't always be so anal about the food, but right now, I'm on a mission to drop another size by the time I have to put shorts on. It will be mine. Oh yes.

I like to think that I'm trying to distract myself from the fact that I havn't seen my guy since early last Sunday. But, it's not working. I still miss his cute little butt. I'm going to see him tomorrow, at his place. I'm excited to see his stuff. It'll be like a slumber party. It sucks so bad that I can't see him more. But I know that when I move things will be easier. It sorta pisses me off that I'm so in love with him. In a way that's like, I wanna rip out your hair, and bite off your toes cus you drive me that crazy. The old, "I wanna hug him and squeeze him"...I know, I kinda make me wanna puke too. But, I wouldn't trade it for a passion-less relationship for 10 million dollars. Why on earth does anyone settle, when this sorta thing is "out there?" I've wasted way too much time there.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Be The Change...

I have been talking a lot about the secret, and my whole new path I'm on with positive thinking. I've decided to stop and take inventory of some changes that have come along. You need only read my archives from 2005 and 2006 to see how different I am, and it wasn't by accident. I mean, I'm still the same person, but I have a whole new perspective on life. More and more people in my own life, are struggling for their own happiness, and I thought it may help to see that this stuff does work, and it's not malarky.

While I've always been into self help, and self discovery, it never really changed me. I knew what I should be doing, and thinking and feeling, but applying it was a whole different story. In essence, I was just "talking the talk". I've read about fear of intimacy, codependency, self love, eating disorders, how to get what you want, knowing yourself, pretty much if there is a book about it I've either read it or listened to it. I wont say nothing came of it, because through all of that, I learned to enjoy my own company, and stand on my own two feet. I stopped being codependant for the most part. That part of my journey is a whole other story. I didn't even know how to pay my bills at one point in my life, and I was so lost without a man, I spent weeks in bed. (Don't miss THAT girl!)

But still, something was missing. I was watching Ellen in 2006 and there was a brief little spot about "The Secret" I thought it was totally interesting, but nothing came of it. I got a couple of books on buddhism, because I thought maybe I was missing religion in my life. Religion, for the most part, is bullshit to me. I like to take responsibility for my destiny, and what better way, than to study buddhism? The more I read, the more I liked. I started applying what I did know to situations in my life.

Then I saw "The Secret" on Oprah. I was inspired. I started saying that I needed a change in my life, something was missing. I was starting to speak to the universe already, through meditation, and learning that I can make my own happiness, and not depend on others to do it for me. (all this gets you is disappointment and resentment!) One day on my lunch break, I went to borders, and bought the book, "the secret". When I came back to work, I showed a coworker, who was also reading the book, and the rest is history. I started on my path. I knew it was meant for me to do that this particular day, and have someone to share it with.

I dont believe in coincidence anymore. Just reassurances that I'm on the right path in my life. One part of the book said to think about what you most want and flip to a random spot in the book. What I wanted was love, and I flipped to a spot about self love, and knowing yourself before you can love anyone else. Coincedence?

I was hungry for more information. I started listening to CD's of Wayne Dyer. One in particular, "Change your Thoughts, Change your Life" made an impression on me. At first, you think, how can changing my thoughts have any impact on me? They are just thoughts. He explained it this way, (not a quote..) Think of a memory from your past, a happy one, how does it make you feel? Do you laugh? Think of a sad one, do you cry? Memories are just thoughts. Thoughts, that create emotions strong enough to last lifetimes. But they are just thoughts, you cant touch them. Love, is a feeling, you can't touch it. You base love on the thoughts you have about someone, yet the feeling is so intense. Thoughts are very powerful, you should spend your time having positive ones.

So I did the whole sha-bang, every time I had a negative thought, I changed it to a positive. You just find the polar opposite of whatever negative thought you have. "This is too good to be true" can be changed into "I deserve this". I made a dream board, which has changed from time to time, and it isnt elaborate by any means, it has a few pictures on it. I stopped telling myself that I didn't want a relationship, because that was exactly what I got, non-relationships.

I stopped worrying about money, and starte believing I would have more. I told myself I have enough. I started finding things in my life to be thankful for (which is what my momma always told me) I started being honest with myself about what I wanted. I made a life list. I decided that I wanted to be in love, but with the right person. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to lose weight. I wanted to be happy. Truely, happy. I recognized my good qualities. I embraced them, and I stopped hating anything about me. I became my own best friend. If I didn't like me, who the hell would? I stopped worrying about the rest of the world, and focused on me.

Things started to change for me. I actually started to lose weight. Now, I had been trying for years. At one point, I worked out 7 days a week and never dropped a pound. For months. Hourrrrs. My mind wasn't in it. I was sabotaging myself with negativity. I made up my own personal mantra for when I worked out, telling myself I am happy, thin, healthy, wealthy, and loveable. Over. And over. For the first time in years, I've lost 50 lbs. I work out less now than I did then, the difference is my thinking. Knowing I can do it. Being positive it will happen.

Then, theres my boyfriend. I mean, if he wasn't sent to me by the universe, then there is no sun in the sky, and to even begin to say all of the things he is that I've always wanted, you'd think I baked him in my easy-bake oven like my own gingerbread man! (with a tool belt!) And knowing him, it would've never worked with us any other time in life. Part of what connects us is our journies. Being open to the possiblility of this relationship was new to me as well. Through all the changes I've learned to trust myself. Shut out all the other noise, and learn what the real me inside is saying, which is so much easier when the negative thoughts shut the hell up.

I wanted a cheaper car payment, while still having a cute car, and I'm driving it.

I asked to be more compassionate in this post, and I'd say I am a way more compassionate person today than even a year ago!

I wanted to earn more money, and quit my second job, well, my salary is almost doubled and I'm working one job! This one I struggled for months trying to find work. All the while saying "it'll happen when the time is right". And here I am, at my same employer, making more, with a new job!

I wanted to have weekends off so I quit my crappy job at the police station, and within days found a job working thru the week, just like I had wanted. Actually, at the place I had regretted quitting over a year ago.

Then, there are the smaller things, like I now have the phone I posted on my dream board.

I had some chinese symbols on my board for wealth, happiness, money, and it turns out one of them was for Reiki, which I'd always been interested in, but couldn't afford to do. Who is now a certified Reiki practitioner? ME! How about how I got to be a certified Reiki practitioner, as I didn't have the money to do so, and a friend from high school on myspace offered me a free attunement because he had a "feeling" he should.

Even the sweeper I bought this week, on a "whim" because I couldn't stand my dirty carpets, was posted on my dream board. I knew I wanted "one" this one happened to be on sale. This was what inspired me to start keeping track of things that have come about.

Now, I am packing. Everyone asks me "are you moving?" I say yes. When they ask where, I say I don't know yet. I know I am going to be moving, so I am acting as though I am doing it. I still struggle with negative thoughts, and get down in the dumps, I am after all human. But, life to me is all about perspective. If you go around saying "life sucks, I'm fat, no one wants me" that's exactly what you get, and wonder why you are getting it. Pay attention to urges you get for changes in your life. Think more positively. Be thankful for what you do have, and see what it does for you. Me? I'm convinced. And I look forward to more positive changes in my life!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Wearing the Hat......

Know what annoys me? Being ignored, but other than that, a close second, or in the family of being ignored, is not being listened to. In my new role as supervisor, this is pissing me off. Sure the first couple weeks it's all roses.

The new girl pretty much disregards everything I say. I tried telling her things. Then telling her again. Then, I even made her some training guides, where I printed screens, and inserted text boxes and arrows, and detailed instructions, and still said "ask me if you have questions" and I'm never annoyed, and always clear and patient when I explain things to her. The worst is, asking her 3 times in 2 days to use a list to track schedule changes, and she still insists on writing them down. Which in turn, would cause me an hour more of work because she's not listening. I told her to do it the way I showed her, the reason we do it, is it saves time. She keeps disregarding the process of things, and doing them her own way. Um, this is corporate america sweetie. There has to be a memo first.

My boss told me, when this happens, that I have to ask myself if it's my method of explaining something that isn't effective. So, I'm scheduling one on ones with the girl, and we'll talk it out. Yesterday, I got to give my friend a raise, which was pretty fun! That's the good part of boss-dom!

Last night I didn't stay at the work gym, I went home and did the treadmill for an hour and then did the balance ball for half hour. Then, I took my sweaty ass to Kohl's because I needed to buy a steam vac. The one I had, which cost $300, and didn't last a year, needed a new motor. The guy said he could fix it for $40, but when I took it in, it needed a whole new motor, apparently "they go bad in those models" So, heed this warning, of the Bissel Pro Heat steam vac. I also used it every week, so whatever.

I charged a cheap ass Bissel for $139, which was probably stupid, except for the fact that my dog pees in my house on a regular basis, and I havn't had a steam vac for about 2 months, and well, that's just gross. After my hour and a half work out, I spent the next 3 hours doing my carpets. I'm still going to have to have them professionally cleaned before I move, but they look nice again. Did I mention that pretty much my whole body hurts? Did I also mention that since I started back to working out more often, my entire outlook on life is back on track? Yea, amazing how that happens isn't it?

Fizzgig says it best for me....

(my weak attempt at LOL catting my fizzgig)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires...

I'm participating in Janet's question this week cus it's easy for me. What is the strangest thing you've eaten. Um, seriously? I don't eat weird things. To me, gum is weird. So, I suppose others would find it odd that I use to hide in my grandma's closet and eat dog chow. Not weird from me, as my own father would eat milk bones. Don't ask me why or how this started, because I was a kid. I just remember eating sammie's food, some for him and some for me. But you know what? It was pretty good. Until I grew up, and people told me there is like, fish eyes and rats in dog food. So, I no longer partake in it. Go over and answer the question too!

Today I don't feel that good I'm determined not to let it stop me from working out, because it's now March and I still have working out to do in mass quantities.

I had a fantastic weekend with that cute peice of man that is my boyfriend. We hung out Friday night for a bit before heading to bed. I made him an easter basket with with these cute fuzzy chicks in it, that were the cutest things. I missed him so much, I coulda squeezed him til his head popped off, but then where's the fun in that? Sometimes, it annoys me how much I miss him when we're apart. It's frustrating. Do you even know what I mean? It's there, tapping you, "hellooooo, you miss your boyfriend...doncha want to kiss his lips?" Ok, all in sync now..."enjoy the ride" blah blah. Sometimes I wanna shove the ride up someones pooper.

We went to see "Vantage Point" which was a pretty good flick! It pisses you off cus it gets to a good part and starts over from another perspective, but it all comes together in the end! And I learned a new word. Dickbag. I am all about learning new words.

Easter was fun. I ate so much, that I don't need to eat for weeks and I'm certain I wouldn't even be hungry. I wasn't hungry for breakfast today. We had an easter egg hunt, my brother hid the eggs cus he's too old to have fun. And me and Mom hunted for them. Well, I did. She found 3 and I found 9. Hardly a competition, right? Clearly I blew her out of the water!

We also had a fire, no, not in the fireplace. Mom hurt her back and when she's hurt she likes to moan and groan and you have to tune her out cus she wont stop it. So she's out in the kitchen making noise and I'm paying her no mind til I hear her say "FIRE!" I go out there and she's beating the stove with a towel, and i went to get water and she said "no it'll explode". Then I ask her for her flour. She ended up beating it out. I don't remember if your suppose to use flour or baking soda?

One thing I do know, is you don't use sugar. I used sugar in my apartment years ago when a pizza caught on fire. Sugar makes the fire worse. And, good luck cleaning that shit off the bottom of the stove.

Friday, March 21, 2008


Good Friday to you all. What's so good about this Friday? Well, it is after all, Friday. On top of that, it happens to mark six wonderful months with my boyfriend. You know what the sad thing is, I can't remember ever being with someone for six months and still being nuts about them, and not being at the point where, eh, they'll do, but I'm not crazy about the person they really are.

But, that's where this relationship is different. It's different in a lot of ways, and those ways are good. Also on this good Friday, I get to see my guy! For two nights. You know the only thing better than spending two nights in the arms of the man you love, would be three.....and the only thing better than that is forever. Ok, so maybe four is better than three. Enjoy the ride, blah, blah! I didn't get to see him this Wednesday for our mid-week get together, because he had to work, and he was moving in the morning. It's hard to be away from him for so long, I can't freaking stand it. I couldn't begin to explain the ways or reasons that I love this guy, because they can't be understood by anyone else. I think that's what love is all about. You have your own groove. But what I can say, is that he is absolutely irresistable to me.

I've been keeping myself busy latley. Working out at the gym at work, and at home. My treadmill has graduated from merely slipping when I do a 3.6 or higher, to now, it's knocking, like an old car. It is about 14 years old, and may be time for a new one. But I really don't want to spend the money on one.

I've also been painting things, I repainted my accessories in my room chocolate brown, but left the table white. I am painting my three mis-matched bookcases in my living room the same color, so now that I moved them all in a row, they look like they are suppose to be a set. But, I'm not happy with the color. I turned an old white board, into a chalk board, with paint. Fun! And, I've been packing.

Part of the secret is to live your life as if you already have what you want, and since I want to move, I am just getting ready to move. I packed away a bunch of knick knacks in the living room, and bedroom that I don't really need and I wont miss. I kinda like the feeling without the clutter as well. I have to tackle the garage soon. It's mass of clutter is making me crazy. I plan to move in a couple of months.

I went to my first organized Yoga class last night with Bethie. I was impressed with my ability. Today, I'm sore. Sore? Yes! When the instructor did this, I never in a billion years thought I would be able to do it, but I did! It all looks easy too. But, it's not. My latest passion is finding out how to become a certified instructor.

P.S. 94 days until Edwin! Edwin Covers Teddy Pendergrass, Love TKO,LIVE, AWESOME!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

How To Marry A Man...

I don't really know what it takes to get a man to marry you. I do think of course, it should happen naturally, and not be forced. I learned that lesson the hard way, one divorce a broken engagement, and several shitty relationships under my belt. I found this article online at mens health. It was one of those Yahoo top stories. But, the reason I'm even posting this is, I am all of these things listed in the freakin' article.

Why am I not married? Of course, most women do tend to do the "what's wrong with me?" speal, but until you learn that nothing is wrong with you, and someone will love you for the person you are, when YOU know who you are, you're gonna keep attracting people who think things are wrong with you. Why? Because that's what your putting into the universe.

I don't wonder why I'm not married, (anymore) because I know myself and what I want, and I have that now. I know I was meant to meet the man I'm with. Wherever that leads me, I'm getting on that train, because the new and improved me, has learned that life is about enjoying the ride. It's not always easy, and sometimes I wanna teleport to my destination, but then you miss all the fun stuff on the ride, so why do that? And when you have such a super cute, loveable person to travel with as I do, even more reason to enjoy it. And, life is far too short to waste time being unhappy.

The full article is here.

  • Marriage Maker 1: (In)dependence Guys like all the things that can come with marriage - the companionship, the safety, a guarantee of having good sheets on the bed and good reasons to change them. While most men understand that being married doesn't mean that they can play six nights a week like they did in their bachelor days, they also want to feel like they have the blessing, support, and encouragement to play golf with their pals every once in a while, to knock a few back at the sports bar when the big game is on, to still feel free even when they've willingly surrendered some independence.

  • Marriage Maker 2: Adoring, Yet Not Needy Few things turn a guy on as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her. And few things turn off a guy as much as a woman who makes her man feel like he's the only guy for her. If they're equals, they're not making undue claims on each other, and they can be an even stronger pair. If either one of them is weak and needy, however, that emotional burden can drag both partners down. So, throw your partner some compliments and some assurances, but don't tell him the planets spin around him.

  • Marriage Maker 3: An Imaginative Mind Men are very turned on by women who have big goals, big dreams, and big imaginations - whether they're career-oriented or not. Because when a woman is driven, that means that she's moving forward, and the whole family is, too.

  • Marriage Maker 4: Jekyll and Hyde Not that we want our partners to flip-flop and pretend to be people they're not, but there's something intrinsically exciting about a partner who has the ability to be a sort of chameleon - a little fun and imaginative in bed, yet charming at a family reunion. It's the all-in-one woman who can equally pull off the roles of wife, mother, boss, friend, neighbor, vixen. That's not asking too much, is it?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Out With The Old...

I spent far too much money this weekend. But it felt good to buy myself things, cus I never really do, aside from the monthly or bi monthly shopping sprees w/the gals.

I took my mom out Saturday and I got this bedding featured in the Bed Bath and Beyond ad. I'd been wanting to do my room turquoise and brown, and this was perfect! It came with everything, the pillows, shams, skirt, comforter, and valances, plus two sets of sheets. I must have carted around three different sets, because it turns out in real life this bedding is not this color at all. But I couldn't get everything this came with for the same price, and I really loved the look! So, I got it. And....I love it!

This is an example of my old colors, including the dog....

And The new! I also scored this bad-ass Buddha head at World Market, I also got one for my guy for his housewarming gift, he loved it!

I took the curtains down and put up my bamboo blinds, which are obviously too big for my windows but In real life you can't tell as much. To take a picture with no pet in it is near impossible. Thats my Fizzgig in the forefront.

I got that bench in the trash a while ago at the end of the bed. I'm gonna paint it white like my other accents in the room.

I put my "throw" that came with the set on my table in the corner as a tablecloth.

Closer view of the windows.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love pillows? These were my 6 but I got new shams, and the little decorative pillows are new. That's Pickachu enjoying the roll pillow, he's my big boy! And the white blur is Fozzie.

Close-up of my new Buddha. I mean, do you love it or what?

I repainted my Dream....I'm not so sure I love it. I think I'm going to do it in white, and antique it. It use to be sage, antiqued.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Livin Large...

So, today stepped outside my comfort zone. I went to Dillards with a coworker who works there part time, and bought two purses. Not one, but two. Usually, I'm quite happy with my $9.99 Target purses thankyouverymuch. But she's always harassing me. She's the type that has everything put together, head. to. toe. Me? Eh, it's not the wrapping that counts, I'm nice on the inside ya know? I don't have to have the nicest things. Where I spend too much money is on beauty products. And, getting my hair done.

I will dabble in the occasional $25 Kohl's purse from time to time. That's high falootin shit. Not to mention, I'm not fashionable, I like comfort, and simplicity. I buy my clothes at Old Navy, even when I dress up! Plus, I don't like all those big bulky purses with their buckles and bangles and loud colors, and cost me a week's pay. No thank you.

But I did find something I like! I found two Fossil purses. Original price on one under $100 the other a little over $100. For purses? For some people, THAT is considered cheap. Anyhoo I got one for $22 and one for $24. On top of that, I got a wristlet, that was $50 for $12. I don't think this will become an obsession like it is for most women, but it was fun!

Um, so in 102 days, Edwin McCain graces the likes of Cleveland Ohio. If you know anything about me, you know you are in for 102 days of talking about how I'm going to the concert. And I am going to initiate that cute hunk of a man into the ranks of those who love Edwin. It only takes one concert, no one I've 'talked into' going has ever complained. It's a good freaking time! I'm super excited. Plus, I happen to know someone who lives out that way, and I can um, crash there I think. Eeeek!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

This and That..

Yesterday I got my ass reamed at work by a higher up. Some figures I did were wrong, and this person yelled at some people for their performance. Basically they felt dumb for being an ass and it was my fault so I bore the brunt of it. Whatever. I'm over it. When your not in charge you can say "I didn't do it, I just sent them". Then, I had to tell this person that it was my fault and not my coworkers. I could've let them think it was her, but that's wrong. Had a meeting where I get the impression, my department is going to be absorbed by another one. Not sure, but the reports we stopped doing due to "time and understaffing" are being given to other departments, and I had to tell them how to do these. Interesting. I dont mind as long as I keep my pay raise, I'm fine with it.

Then on my lunch break, an old man flicked me off. He stopped dead in the street and gave me the bird. What the fuck!

Today I gave my two girls cards, the new girl got a card about stress and how I'm here for her. The other one got a card about being awesome, cus she is really stepping up to the plate with all the extra work. I told them both we have an amazing team and that they are doing great. I'm only the coolest boss ever. Fo real tho!

Last night, there was cause for celebration. The man put a deposit down on his own pad. This means I can stay with him at his place! He also says it's a little bit closer, but the only time I've driven out there, was in a blizzard so I wouldn't know. Now, when I move, and its a little closer, then maybe we'll be happier. I dunno, I think the only happy I'll get in regards to closeness, is when he's with me forever. Does that sound like an evil master plan or what? Like thunder should clap, and an evil laugh should follow? Of course, I only meant, when he's safely locked up in my closet. Sheesh. I can't begin to describe the sense of comfort I have when I'm cuddled up next to him. It's really sickening. I mean, are people seriously this happy? Next week it'll be six months since our first date. Ahhhhh....

Tomorrow, should be my first pay with my new found wealth. I cannot wait! I am so nervous to see how much I'm gonna be raking in! It's 1300/month more than I make now. So, ummm should be a biggin'! I'm also going to the gym at work for the first time. A girl in my department is going to stay with me. I started back to 2 hour workouts this week. Here it is Thursday, and I've done it twice. Uh, how the fuck did I do it 5 days? Amazing how fast you lose your stamina. But I'm getting back up there.

Am I well rested working one job you ask? My body is in shock. I'm so use to working 14 hours, and living on 4-5 hours of sleep, that I am not sure what to do with myself. I'm tired, but I still feel at home like I have to finish all this stuff, cus tomorrow I have to work at night. It's going to have to wear off I think. I still rush out on lunch and have all these errands and think...wait, I can go AFTER WORK. I've been trying to organize my closets and places I toss crap. Like, the garage and the laundry room.

Monday, March 10, 2008

I'm not stuck in a random snow drift...

Yes, I am alive and well. You may or may not know, that we had one of those snowstorms that people will talk about for years. "Remember that storm in March of '08?" I mean, I live in Ohio, we're no stranger to storms, but it's March, and the cities seem to have exhausted most of their salt, and were therefore boycotted using any until the storm was almost over. They actually admitted to this on the radio stations. In an effort to 'keep people off the streets'. They announced a driving ban, any driving not 'necessary' was deemed unlawful. My problem with this is, what's important to me isn't to you. People need beer.

They shut a lot of businesses down Friday, and I actually got to go home around 3:30. I didn't get home until after 5, on my half hour drive home. I prefer to drive slow, rather than have my car buried in a snow drift, like the 80 dickheads I saw over the weekend. I could care less if it pisses you off that I'm driving 25mph. What did I do on Friday? I drove to Cleveland, you know, closer to the lake so I could be in an even worse snowstorm. I think it might be because I am in love or something. Love makes you do crazy things! I met my guy at his friends house for the night. We had beer, and food, and I kicked their asses at pop culture trivial pursuit, I gave up at monopoly cus I sucked so bad.

We woke up Saturday to find our cars buried mid way up the doors. No plows touched the side roads, and there was what...at least 12 inches of snow. We dug out our cars for about an hour, and the man did the old 'let's direct a woman how to move her car' routine, which ended in him moving my car out of the snow bank. "Turn the wheels right? My right? The wheel? Or, the car wheels? Huh? Left? My right, or your right? Should I go? When? I'm stuck!" It was pretty cute, but I can't help it if I dunno how to get out of the snow. He rescued me. He's my hero and stuff!

We were gonna go to his house but the weather was pretty treacherous. We got like, 5 more inches in a matter of hours on Saturday. I followed him to my house. The drive? Two and a half hours. There was only one lane "plowed" on the highway and by plowed I mean there was like 8 inches of snow vs. 15. People still tried to go around me. People are fucking stupid. The cars on the side of the road were buried up to the roofs. When we finally made it to my house we had the hill of doom which is my driveway. I made it up barely, and me and Tara had to push the man up. Shoveling snow is a good workout. I'm pretty sore!

Then we shoveled the parking lot cus the plow guy is an incompetent dillhole. We buckled down for the evening. My main power switch blew twice, I had to go out in knee deep snow to flip it. The cutest thing, like, in the universe? The man warmed my feet up when I came back in. I mean seriously, somebody pinch me. And my dog? she peed on the back porch. It was like watching the poor thing get sucked into quick sand the snow was way over her stumpy little head.

I may have been snowed in for my first weekend of freedom, but I cant think of anyone I'd rather be snowed in with. I love when I get to spend three whole days with him. It makes Monday's that much harder though. *sigh* I just wanna steal him up and run away and never look back! Everything feels so amazing when I'm with him. Even a shitty snowstorm!
Yes, this is a snowstorm people will remember for years to come. And I have some very happy memories of my own, that would melt any old snowdrift. I'm a very lucky girl.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thank God Almightey, I'm Free At Last!!!!!!...

People! I finished my final night at the second job. Pause for Cheers...I went out with some balloons and some little picture frames from some of the girls. I pretty much keep to myself but apparently they liked me enough to miss me. We were all in the same boat. Two jobs. Yes, since January 10th 2005, with a brief 4 month break while I was engaged to that nimrod, I have been working two jobs. 60 hours a week. Or, for the 7 months I worked at the police station, 56 hours, and 7 days.

I hardly know what I'm going to do with my new found freedom! First and foremost, I am getting my house back in order the first week, and resuming my 5 day workouts. Weee!

Today in the supervisory world (ya like that?) I damn near had a meltdown. My other secretary was out, so it was me, and the new girl. New girl can answer the phones. Other than that she's still training on any real work, hindering me from doing my own job. Which as it turns out, is to be a secretary to all the VP's, plus a supervisor. I don't get the luxury of merely delegating shit, and running reports and making decisions...seeing how we are short two secretaries, 3 if you factor in a new person.

It's month end, and there I was in all my glory downloading all these massive reports, and manipulating them, feeling quite proud that I'm actually doing this shit on my own with notes, and my stellar computer skills. And then it happened...the notes ended. I mean, just stopped. "And now you do this......." What?

Imagine you are in charge of the birthday cake, and you have all the ingredients mixed up and ready to go into the oven but someone neglected to tell you what temperature to set it at. Sure, you can figure it out on your own with trial and error cus your a pretty good baker, but the party is like, right now, and people want their fucking cake!

That was me. The person who gave me the recipe assured me I was intelligent enough to follow the recipe and make the cake properly, and since I had one half-assed week to train with the baker, um, someone never had a dry run on cake baking. *cough* me *cough*

Everything we do for our VP's is based on our month end numbers, of which there is billions upon billions. I'm missing three key factors in the grand scheme of numbers, so that is what I'm doing tomorrow. Figuring out how to get it to work, because no one else has ever done it, and they are due. I mean...the entire company relies on them. The multi billion dollar company I work for. Stress? Ha! I laugh in the face of stress! Add to that my temporary boss went home sick, the other Mgr in the dept went to the Dr., and we have stores calling in with no power, and ice storms, wanting to close. I'm not authorized to close stores yet. I can't tell you how much I didn't want to go to the second job tonight.

Plus, I'm running freaking copies for a manager who is doing a class. Had I known it would take hours to do, I would've told him to eat shit, because I can. But, no, I'm still learning how to say no. Lemme tell you I'm gonna learn that real fast.

I dunno if I mentioned, but that business about my being able to hire a replacement for myself? Not happening. Um, can you say hiring freeze? Fucking economy. Blows. Dick.

In happy news, I went to my Momma's new house last night with the man, and it's way nice! I love it! My cute boyfriend fixed her sticking toilet handle, and hooked up my DVD player for her to borrow. Have I mentioned how much I find handy men super hot? I am so use to lazy ass deadbeats, who never worked, watch me work two jobs, clean the house, and ask me to cook dinner. Seriously, I hit the jackpot with this one! I think it takes that sorta thing to appreciate a real man when you find one. I'm still devising a plan to build the perfect closet to lock him in...I'll let you know how that's going later.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Uh, Titles are Over-rated...

Um, first and foremost...GO HILARY! I think there's gonna be a war over all of this, you mark my words. People are getting a little too violent. I think they need to get lives. Seriously, what does the president even do? Talk a bunch of shit. I just want to not want to kill the person who cuts into my TV shows.

Only 6.5 hours total left at the second job. I can almost taste the freedom! This week, has been super freaking stressful on me, and working the night jobs making it worse. I havn't had time to workout, or clean, or email, or blog, or talk on the phone, or anything. I go home, and sleep. Monday, a girl from the leasing dept calls me in a panic that some files she needs for a job she took over in our dept were deleted off the network.

After a few phone calls, and some digging, it turns out, they werent missing, she was suppose to have copied them from the transfer drive, and didn't so they were automatically purged on Monday. Crisis solved. Peice of cake. It's also come to my attention, that most of what my boss did, she never told me about. I mean, the big things I know about. But the little piddly shit? It's a learning process. I'm doing good though, the girls are happy with the way I have been delegating, and standing up for them.

My life's been pretty uneventful otherwise. Too much working going on. This past weekend I went out to the bar for Heather's birthday, my guy came too, in all his manly cute-ness. He got me a rose from the bar rose lady. Which was totally adorable, and I loved it! Then we tried real hard to disturb the neighbors...if yaknowhatImean! Apparently, we woke them up at 5 am last week. That's what Tayray said. We can't help ourselves. What'll I do when my friend doesn't live next door? I guess I'll wake up strangers.

Sunday we had a movie marathon. I pass on this bit of advice, don't watch the movie "Perfume". Aside from the very end where there is a mass orgy, it's kinda stupid. We also watched "Next" with Nicholas Cage, and "We Own the Night" with Marky Mark. Both excellent!

Monday, it was 61 degrees, and yesterday we had an ice storm. I am about ready for summer, except that I wanted to lose 20 more lbs before then, and this work thing has hindered my progress. Starting next week, back on the saddle, and I'm pretty excited about that! So far the only things I am going to do with my new found wealth besides save so I can move, is have my carpets cleaned professionally, and put a new treadmill in layaway.

Oh yea, and not work two jobs. Boooyaaaaah!