"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Communication is a Concept..

Of course the girls said in response to yesterday's post to communicate my feelings. Can't fault the one guy for being honest. But, as it turns out, we did talk about it. And the manfriend is the one who brought it up.

It was like the third "talk" we've had about where we're headed in the relationship. Which is always nice to talk about, and get out in the open. The same thing was concluded. We're crazy about each other, are happy to have found one another, and see ourselves with a bright future together. We both think we are good catches (it's important to know your own worth) and think the same of the other. The manfriend wants to see more of me. Says it's hard to say goodbye. Of course, I'm nodding my head because, it's the same way for me. I mean, who cries on the way home from his house? Me. Who tells her cats that she misses him out of the blue? Me. (People..the cat's get it, ok?)

The only difference I pointed out, is that I am optimisitc about our future. I have faith that this is all happening for a reason. And he is struggling with that. To me, the crying when I'm happy, proves my feelings are real. I've never cried from being happy before. Ever. I've cried from being mistreated, and made to feel like dog shit. Never because my heart is so full if I don't let it out, I might explode. What a concept. It all gives me faith.

Most importantly I told him while it is hard to be 50 miles apart, try to see the good in it. The good being that we are both from similar pasts, where we went from relationship to relationship, and never spent time on our own. Moved in with someone right away. The distance has forced us to live apart, and even though it sucks balls, it has a purpose . He simply wants for us to see each other more. Who can blame a guy for that? I want that too. And, I'm working on it when I finally move closer to work, it'll be closer for us as well. He said that he also sees us living together, but is not ready for it right now. While I can say I want that, I'm not ready either. I don't want to jeopardize what we have cus he isn't ready. I can see that. He said he just wants to see how it goes with us seeing more of each other. Have us living together be a more natural progression.

He told me I'm more patient than him. Which I laughed at. I call it having faith. Patience, is not something I'm good at. I pointed out that he took hours to hang a picture on the wall. And can put electronic things together. And fix a computer. And he takes forever to do the dishes. That stuff, I have no patience for.

The anniversary thing, he apologized for. He said that it was important to him, and the comment he made was a result of his own baggage that has nothing to do with me. I gathered that from my saying "our anniversary" it stirred up thoughts that we should be married and have 2.5 kids and the white picket fence or something. Which, is not what I meant by it at all. I told him it is what it is, an anniversary.

I've been divorced almost 10 years. (long ass time) He's been divorced like, two. He says in some ways I'm way ahead of him because of that, and I can agree. It's a lot of work to get over a failed marriage. Work that is well worth the time and effort it takes. He says he wasn't looking to find a relationship when we met. (me either) So I asked him why he was dating if he wasn' t hoping to find a relationship. Which is a whole other topic, and his own personal business. But it's funny how things work.

All in all, I have a pretty good catch. He can communicate without my feeling threatened, I find him irresistable, funny, smart, and an all around great guy. I told him when I saw his profile the thing that caught my attention the most was "I am sure of who I am, and of what I want". I am too, and that is very hard to find. Someone who knows who they are, will enhance your already fantastic life without screwing around with yours.

And, we ended the night happily snuggling. With me staring at him and giggling. And being mad because he makes me so nuts. (in a good way) I woke up the same way too. Not wanting to get up, and leave his side...and him not wanting me to. Some day this will all make sense..


Erin said...

It's good to get it all out in the open - and I think you guys definately have a good thing going!!

Steve Stenzel said...

I think Patience = Faith sometimes. Good luck!

And yes, we have Sixlets in little plastic wrappers here in MN too, but they're more fun to eat by the handful out of a box!!

Ms. Megan said...

So happy for you! Sounds like you had a good conversation about it!

Barb said...

You are so passionate and that's so cool! Sometimes it takes a hard lesson to learn from past experiences to make a semi-new relationship work! I'm very impressed!

Just curious, how did you guys meet being so far from each other?