"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Day Three, Unemployed...

I'm hoping my employment status changes, so I can muster up an original title name. I have had a shitty day so far. Crying, and depressed. Blah. I still havn't gotten any money from CP for his phone which is on my cell phone account, so I kept it. I also feel guilty for this. Why? Because I'm a stupid ass. I can't afford to pay his bill, I can't cancel it without a fee, so I am at a loss. I called my brother to see if he would be interested in paying the half of the bill and he said he would. Hopefully, my own brother doesn't screw me over like the man who supposedly loves me.

CP was kind of pissed off about me keeping his phone, but you know what? I don't care I can't care. He told me last night after counseling that he had been on drugs again three times since he went to rehab. So, he's been lying to me. I know this. I also know, that I can't handle this bullshit with him, on top of everything else. So I am biding my time. I know better than to think that an addict will change for me. I've been down that road ohhhh, a few times.

I stayed at Kat's last night and drank wine. She made us some orzo, which I'd never had before, and I applied for a few jobs. The saddest thing I did, was lower my cable bill. This means, I have some stupid family package with 40 channels. All family crap. No TBS. No MTV. No nothing! It's $10 a month cheaper, and I have to cut costs where I can.

Think of me. Unemployed. With no heat (I can't afford to turn it on), sitting in the dark, and no TV to watch, and send me some positive vibrations.

4 comments:

Jess said...

Broadcasting positive vibes now...

Tayray said...

I won't turn my heat on either, so don't sweat that, and I've not had cable for a year now, its not THAT bad!! Postive thoughts, you'll find something!!

supplymadam said...

Oh Mon,I am so sorry for you right now.It's only been 3 days please hang tight I am sure something will come along,just keep going full speed ahead.

EC said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but it sounds as if you have an excellent friend in Kat... I am sending good vibes to you!