After seeing he scared me, he told me he wasn't a violent person, and he'd never hit a girl, after he told me yet another story of "beating someone up". I said that given my past history with abusive men, I wasn't comfortable with someone who has violent tendencies. He said again he isn't violent to which I said "you dont consider those things violent?" He said I guess they were.
But I'm a changed man.
I'm all for changing, I'm a totally different woman from the crazy girl I was in my 20's. And I cheated once in my life, and it never crossed my mind to do so again, so people aren't defined by their actions. But you do get a feeling when someone's genuinley "changed".
He told me I am very pretty and I look just like my pictures. I said why wouldn't I? He said a lot of people do things to their pictures and they dont look the same at all. I'm thinking....oh you mean like you did?
Other red flags consisted of saying he liked one thing, and when I said I didn't he changed his mind to "not really liking it". I don't want someone to morph me, I want someone who knows who they are. Joking around about putting roofies in my drink, saying he'd like to see a lot more of me...in a pervy way, asking me if he got on the floor like his dog would I pet him, and so on.
When the night progressed, I sat on the far end of the couch. All the while he feel deeper in love with me (maybe not love, but he was totally taken by me...and kept telling me) And when I had to leave, I gave him a hug and dodged a kiss. He leaned in to kiss me then when I got in my car and I gave him a peck.
I'm just not feeling it. I don't expect the same bells and whistles I had with exassholemanfriend, because I know everything is different, but I'm also not going to ignore red flags. And, I want to be nuts in love with someone I can't keep my hands off of. I need that attraction to each other, along with the flirtiness, and love, and everything tied up with a bow!
Exassholemanfriend isn't the only man who will want me, and neither is this wackadoodle. I havn't had every man come back to me and apologize for leaving me because I'm a shitty girlfriend, its because I pick shitty guys. One of these days they wont have to come back, because they wont leave in the first place.
I know my prince is still out there, swimming with all the other frogs. And when the time is right he will come out to be kissed.
Meanwhile, happiness is NOT getting online and seeing your exassholemanfriend in your "compatibility matches" even though you block him, and he supposedly blocked you. It's like a knife to the heart every day I log on there. To read the things he is looking for, and know that I was that person for so long, and he simply "changed his mind". He is completely fucked up in the head. And I hope he's having shitty luck on his dating adventure, because he deserves it.
I don't care about the karma on that one.