Something I havn't talked about in a long time is that I'm actually a certified Reiki Practitioner. I was attuned around 3 years ago. I've only practiced on exmanfriend, and my dog, who dislikes it, and wont allow me to do it.
It's something that I lost track of, and as of late, have been talking with the person who attuned me about spiritual healing. When I meditate, I picture myself in white light. When you do reiki, you have to visualize the white light coming through your hands and into the person, and you have to have nothing but love in your intentions. With all the negativity in my brain, I can't even surround myself with light. He asked if I'd tried to heal myself. I told him that seemed impossible at this point.
I feel broken, so he put me in contact with a spiritual healer. I am thinking seriously about meeting with her, so I can get back to my old, positive self. I would love to practice reiki, and put it to good use. And let go of the negativity that I'm letting consume me.
In other news, I have works travel department working on booking me a flight to see my sister in Virginia Beach in August. I need to get away, and if I wait until I can "afford" it, I'll never go. A trip is just what I need.
Like most things, I've been avoiding it, because in order to leave town, I will have to put my 14 year old dog to sleep, and I've been in denial about it for a long time. It's to the point where I'm embaressed to even take her to put her down because she looks so bad, and I don't know how they will even find a vein to do so.