"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Personal Hell...

Sometimes I wonder, what Hell is to other people. I took a class at work and before it started I heard a woman talking about how "everything that is going on in the world is the beginnings of the rapture, especially since Obama was elected". Seriously? I guess I respect other people's views, because I expect mine to be respected. But we were at work, and I chose to keep my trap shut. I know all about revelations. I read it during the Gulf war, and it scared the living shit out of me. It's the only part of the bible I've read in its entirety.

That is why now I read so much about buddhism. It's hopeful. Optimistic. Introspective. I think God is god to all of us. Allah, jehovah, buddha whatever you call it. And people put too much stock in titles.

Hell to me, is right now. I think we are all in hell. I don't think hell is a place. Like, our bodies die, and our souls suck into the ground into the burning pits of eternal fire, stoked by a horned, and hooved red man with a pitch fork. Who would want to believe that? And you know what? I am a good person despite not having a fear of hell. I still have morals. I've discussed this with the manfriend, the idea of hell and Santa Clause being similar. It's a tool to make you behave. To us. You better be good or Santa won't come! Don't have sex or you (might enjoy it) will go to hell!

If hell is being forced to repeat horrible things from our lives, then why do we have to go to a "place" for this to happen? Personally, I've repeated plenty of mistakes because I never fixed what was wrong with me. I was in several abusive relationships. I didn't value myself. I was miserable. So, I kept repeating the same pattern. I can apply this to a billion things in my own life. I have worked on many, and getting past them is what the buddhists describe as "enlightenment". I don't believe I am fully enlightened, but I know I am well on my way. Recognizing what I don't like about myself, and taking the steps to fix these things. The me today doesn't know the me 10 years ago. I was a complete and utter mess. I would describe me as crazy.

What is enlightenment?

"What is that state of Cosmic Consciousness, the ultimate awareness called variously - enlightenment, nirvana, satori, samadhi, self-realization, rapture, salvation, ascension, unity consciousness, voidness, and many other terms by many various religions? It is the goal of life, the ultimate destination of every individualized being. It is brought about when the individual personality ascends beyond the illusionary perception of self separateness to merge in the Universal Self from which it originated so very long ago. Spiritual evolution towards this goal takes place over ages but the final ascent of Spirit can happen in an instant of time. "

I believe that our purpose in life is to learn that we are all interdependant, and to practice compassion towards each other. Realize that there is no yin without yang. Good without bad, or love without hate. I think the lessons you learn while you are on this earth will help you in your next life. I also believe in reincarnation. And if you believe in "soul mates" and "soul groups" you can't not believe in reincarnation. There is not one without the other. I've heard so many people say they found their "soul mate" and then say that it's evil to believe in reincarnation. It's the same thing.

I believe one's incarnation is why some people have it easy, and some have it hard. We all have our own paths, and lessons to learn in each life. My life may have been hard in the past, but because of that I have learned so much. You don't learn without experience. You don't read how to live your life in a book, and have all the knowledge that you have to have.

What do you think hell is? And have you ever given it much thought? Or do you just dismiss it as a "place you go to when you aren't saved"?

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