Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Things I find horribly important...
*Reason 235,687 you should help me with my evil plot to slip my manfriend some untraceable homeade rufies, and lock him in my closet...he's a good cook. I mean if the list of things I like about him gets much longer, I might have to start thinking he is a robot created by one of my crazy ex boyfriends as part of their evil plan to steal my soul by sucking me into a happy abyss and then having my manfriend short circuit, leaving me broken hearted.
And, then I'll have to buy a boyfriend pillow. But seriously, I bet if I got one of these, I might be able to sleep in my bed again vs. the couch. Kidding, that's not the part of the manfriend I miss. When they make a spooning manfriend pillow....send me the link.
I swear I don't do drugs.
I want to see the New Kids on the Block at blossom. I think getting drunk on $7 white zinfandel (probably boxed, my favorite) and watching the new kids prance around on stage and do the "oh, oh, oh, oh oh...hangin tough" dance is a killer time! while I scream "donnie i love you!" would be so freaking awesome. The shitty thing is that my friends aren't as cool as me, and no one wants to go. Who wants to adopt me as a friend and take me to New kids? I say take me because obviously, I will need a designated driver. And B) you can't also like donnie. He's mine. Back....off.
Speaking of concerts, and what's mine. Edwin McCain (my future husband) is coming to concert in August. I'm going to take my manfriend, and he will have fun, of course cus it's a killer time. I think it'll be a true testament of his love for me. If he can still love me high on Edwin, then he's totally going to marry me. (don't squash my dreams) You have no idea how hard it is to not buy tickets to this concert until this Friday. I can't use credit. Bad, credit.
Anyone want to adopt me? And by adopt I mean, be my sugar daddy that get's nothing but the satisfaction of calling me his sugar pop? Cus, I'm kinda in love with someone else. Please?
I miss my cable pretty bad. I mean, I don't even have cartoon network. Appartnely, cartoons aren't in gods plan. Because I have god/family tv. Cus its cheap.
Reason 345 I should write a book, someone may deem me god some day when they come across my brilliant writings.And everyone will say what I say is what everyone should do. Kinda like the bible. (unbunch your panties)
Books! I read a book once about a group of girls that murdered a classmate by beating her with a tire iron in the head, stuffing her in the trunk, and setting her on fire. This was during my true crime/Aphrodite Jones phase. The truth is way worse than any fake stuff.
I have to take three cats, single handedly to the vet this weekend at 9 am. On a Saturday? This is blasphemy. I believe in sleeping until at least 11 on a Saturday. Being a single mom is way hard. I don't know how anyone takes human kids anywhere. Especially more than one. I have some serious anxiety over how I'll manage! At least I don't have to dress my cats. Bonus for me. Even though I don't want kids, I think Moms should be sainted or something.
This weekend I watched The Unborn, A Haunting in Connecticut, Bride Wars, The Eschelon Conspiracy (which is a total low budget rip off of Eagle Eye), and Monsters Vs. Aliens. All in my PJ's on a comfy couch with a comfy movie partner. Illegal schmillegal.
*Reason 235,688 would be that I can bribe you with jewelry. Everyone loves diamonds!