"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


I'm having one of those moments. The one where it feels like everyone is paired off and you are the sole single girl. Only, I have a boyfriend. I just don't live with him. So I guess it feels like everyone is paired off in living arrangements, and I'm not.

Or, we're at that age where we all have our own lives, and its harder and harder to get together with friends, and more and more you are on your own. I like time to myself. But I also like to hang out with friends. I don't know.....do you get new friends, or are you expected to change too? I don't want to change. So there.

I'm at a weird spot latley, and I keep thinking it will pass but it doesn't. You know, people get married. They have kids. I don't know why it just seems that I've been on the outside of all these things. In a funk perhaps. (not with the kids thing, ok?)

My one friend says to me when I feel this way...."you've been married". As if I had my one shot at happiness and since that didn't work out for me, its OK if I never get married again.
I'm happy with my relationship. It's the rest of my life that is getting to me. The outside the relationship stuff seems to be lacking, and I don't know what you do for that. I think maybe I had two jobs for so long, because I didn't have another life. And it was an excuse.

Because I keep thinking about getting another job. As miserable as it made me, it is a distraction.


alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

so you are going to move to cleveland to live with the man friend? great!

Ms. Megan said...

I think we all go through this... I worry that I will never have a really close friend like I did when I was in college.... I just can't seem to fit one into my schedule or me fit into theirs. All of my friends are married/pregnant/single no kids... I need to find a single mom friend!

Eirn said...

I agree with Megan, we do all go through this... but at the same time I will admit, it is easier with a husband and kids... you tend to join playdate groups and so forth and through the kids you meet the moms which for me at least has led to lifelong friendships that I really never had before, ever, even when I was younger.

So, my theory is that if it works with kids, it also works with hobbies and so forth. So, take something you like, look on meetup.com and I guarantee you will find a group for you... and through that you will meet a ton of new friends!

You can do a singles nightlife group, a couples group with you are with your manfriend, a board game group, the options are really endless, you just have to be willing to put yourself out there. I did it, and it really changed my life.

So, rather than just work more, why don't you actively seek out new friends, hobbies and fun things to do? It'll be much better than getting a 2nd job!

LiLu said...

Oh, DON'T go back to two jobs... that hell is still so fresh in my mind!

Life On Edge. said...

I agree with the others, I think you should rethink the second job and pursue the friends.

I don't necessarily think that you need to find friends that are exactly like you (divorcee, no kid, boyfriend, straight, cats, same hobbies) as long as they want to, what... exercise with you once a week? go to the movie once a week? go to the coffee shop once a week?

Then 3 friends with different backgrounds and you have plenty of laughs to go around for the whole week and you might just miss your time alone...

You are so much fun, don't deprive them of your friendship!!

merider (M.E.-rider) said...

Fizz...NO! Don't get a second job. The reason I say this is that a job will fill up your time but not your soul. Is there a hobby you love that you can take up and meet new friends? Also, know that many of us in life don't get the American (facade) dream...husband, house, dog/cat (note: child not included as I agree with you on that one). We do get great lives, though, and you are very lucky to have the life you have. Just sayin' ;-)

Fizzgig said...

alexa -
I think about moving closer a lot, but moving is so much work. and money.

Ms megan:
at least im not alone!

Erin -
im gonna try match.com for friends! lol. I didnt know there was such a thing!

i know, its a sickness. thats how i know somethings missing. no one in their right mind wants to work another job!

why thank you. I agree it would be fun to hang with someone who isnt so 'busy' and ive been thinking there has to be some kind of group of people that go hiking or something, and dont stand you up!

I know im gonna work on finding something I like doing. I am lucky, but I want to find something I enjoy on top of life...