"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Blame It On Hollywood...

I 've been a little under the weather latley and slacking with my blog. I think it's going around. Everyone's been slacking, and I don't like it one bit. I have to have my daily dose of blog reading to feel complete. Get with it people.

I wrote a post a while ago on how to marry a man. While I did it for entertainment value, and a little bit of, um, "what the fuck is the deal I'm a great catch" - on the side, I've gotten some emails about the topic, from women wondering the same damn thing.

What the hell IS the hold up?

Well, you can always go with the old stand-by from your Mom, that a man never buys the cow when he gets the milk for free. And, you should stop giving the milk. But, then, if you're like me, um, you might turn into a super bitch without giving the milk, and then no one would even dream of marrying you, let alone date you, and then well, it sorta ruins the whole point.

Some people think that you shouldn't live with a person before marriage, because then they wont want to marry you if they find out your annoying habits. Huh? This sounds like trickery to me, and if someone pulled that crap with this girl, I'd be pissed. And I'm a lady! As if hiding annoying or intolerable parts of yourself until marriage is going to make them less annoying and more tolerable? Dream on. Having been married, I can state that things get harder when you are married. So if they are hard to begin with, that won't change.

Why are men committing less? Prostitutes? Strippers? Skanks who screw anyone with a penis? The grass is greener? The grass only seems green, once you get there, you find out it's rough, and scratchy, and wasn't worth the headache to jump the fence. Is it their single friends? What is the big deal with commitment?

Me? I personally blame Hollywood. Not the city, the people who live there, and the fact that whatever originates there seems to catch on all over the world. It's the latest craze to live together in sin and not get married. (of course, I don't really think this is a "sin", people) And if it's good enough for Goldie Hawn, and Oprah, then it had better be good enough for all of us. Right?

You know what the difference is? They are bazillionaires, and I think that it's all about money, and assets. I dont know anyone who has such assets that need protecting. And who would want to marry someone who valued their posessions more than the love they have for you?

I guess that I'm old fashioned. I still think about "happily ever after". Growing old with someone, as my husband. The difference between the girl in her 30's and the girl in her 20's is, when I was 20 I wanted to be married because it was the thing to do. And, until recent years, I wanted to get married for the sake of being married. Now I have learned that it's not worth the headache, and struggle to get married if it's just for the title. I want it because I want to be bonded with someone who wants to be bonded with me. I don't think of it as a religious thing, or just a peice of paper. I don't want to be bitter one day, like most married people who say "why bother getting married". Or complain about how bad, and boring marriage is. That's a sure sign of a couple, that never should have gotten married to begin with.

Marriages aren't bad, in my opinion. It's the people who decide to get married for the wrong reasons that make them bad.


Erin said...

And I think that is why when you do decide to get married again it will be forever. It is the perfect attitude to have regarding marriage... I married because that is what I thought was supposed to happen if you love someone... and look how that turned out ;)

Patti Cake said...

Now that was interesting....I have a skewed view on marriage myself as I've never been married but have a child...I never wanted to get married. Now I feel like you do...I want to but only for love.

Mon said...

thats why i got married. lol. i wasnt happy...but, what else are you spose to do? plus, i had no idea what love was at that point. I was 20!

when its right its right! I firmly believe this!