"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Road Rage

So, I think we've all seen it. At least, I know everyone in Ohio has. We are proud to be the road construction capital of the world. The snow starts to melt, and the cones come out. We never get to enjoy the open road of anything, because it's always down to one lane, and backed up wherever you go. It's just the way it is, and we accept it.

This morning was no different. On my way into work, the hiway is down to one lane. Has been for oh, 3 months now. Signs clearly posted miles ahead, merge right. Left lane closed ahead. But you always have that one fucktard, who thinks they can beat you to the front of the line, so they can hurry up to be stopped first in line, rather than 4th or 5th, because really, that matters.

I drew this nice diagram to illustrate it for you.

You know, how sometimes the semi truck driver will sit in the left lane to stop dicks like the "asshole" shown here, from running to the front and then slowing traffic when they have to merge in with the people who can read? That's what this "truck driver" was doing. There was a van in front of me, and then, you see me. There was also a line of folks behind me who could also read. "Asshole" was pissed first, at the truck driver, and kept weaving into the orange barrels, trying to go thru them so he could pass the truck driver. Nevermind that the road is torn up, he had a cavalier.

When he was unable to go thru the cones, he then started flicking off the truck driver. The van in front of me wasn't letting him over, and that pissed him off too. He had another guy, and a chick in the car with him. So, "asshole" was not only endangering his life, but that of his friends. Awesome. So, finally I had to let him over because he was totally trying to run me off the freaking road. I kept an assured clear distance as seen in this photo.

He rode the van's ass for a couple of miles, all the while flicking him off out his sunroof, which was freaking retarded. Once we were on the open road, he cut people off, almost causing a pile up, so he could zip in front of the van. Then, he proceeded to chuck things at him out his sunroof. First being his supersized soft drink, which totally missed the van, and hit my freaking car. Well, the pop did when it burst on the hiway. Then some trash including an oil can, fast food wrappers, and what looked like tupperware. The van tried to move lanes, nope, asshole had to move in front of him with no regard for the billion other people on the road. Did I mention they did this all at 90? I know because I was in hot pursuit until I realized, I was going 90 in a 60, and had to simma down.

Here's how I stayed calm. My Chakra suite on the CD player, my Buddha. And Ommmmmm.



Ok, so Ohio may be home to crappy road conditions and that's not so good... but it's also home to Victoria's Secret!!!! And THAT's a good thing.

Alexa said...

hahahaha. hilarious diagram!!

Mon said...

yea, you cant argue with vicky v's i got nothin on that!

I'm a pretty good artist.

Erin said...

Wow, that is unreal!! How crazy that people seem to want to do that stuff when they aren't getting anywhere any quicker then the rest of you!!