Hello new couch, you are gimormous, and beautiful, and comfy, and my dog is terrified of you but I am in awe of your geatness!
Sleeping in your own new cushy bed, with no bad bed karma leftover from assholes you have dated....is probably the best feeling in the world! I think the next guy has to pass a very long test before resting his tookus in this bed!
Who knew buying a new bed would make me re-think who I sleep with? I should've done this years ago!
P.S. only in the ghetto, would someone steal your tattered, nasty ass couch cushions off the couch on the curb that has been sitting out in the rain. I am thinking some homeless guy just got a pimped out new bed!