The Weight Is Lifted....

It's Friday. And even though, I have to work until 7 in the morning, I feel so fantastic, all my bills are paid! I think it is a huge load off knowing I have nothing pending to be paid, and I'll get a paycheck in two weeks all to myself! I
can save again! I was still a little behind from not working the week I was on my deathbed.

Speaking of my deathbed, I'm calling the hospital later to set up payments. I technically, can't get health insurance even if I could afford it, for another week. So, I'm going to try for some sort of assistance. It doesn't hurt. I paid enough taxes in my lifetime for some freaking help. I aint too proud, ok?

I've been cleaning a lot of things. You would be amazed at how much junk I have. Just me. The back of my garage is stacked with boxes, and outdoor furniture. Every closet is jammed. I have a two bedroom, two story apartment with barely any space. I think it's time I simplified my life. So, I decided to move the computer downstairs into that living room, I never wanted it in my spare bedroom to begin with, that was CP's idea.

Unfortunately, I forgot when he brought it over, it fell apart, and it was nailed together. The peice of shit fell apart again, only worse, and it's being held together now with wood glue, and finishing nails. That's all I had! For my next trick, I'm going to throw out my old sofa downstairs, and get two or three bean bag chairs. It's not like I ever go down there really. It's basically a huge bed for the dog and cats to get their hair all over.

I have a dream. That I will own matching furniture. I don't think that's too much to ask. Like my end tables should match my entertainment center, and bookshelves. You know what I mean. Oh, oh oh, and I vow to own a couch, that has never been owned before! It's the little things! I really don't ask for much at all.

I watched "The Paris Hilton Tape". The funniest part is, I borrowed porn from my brother! I guess it's way more than what was online, from what I hear. I wont say who I hear that from, to protect their identity. All I have to say about it, is that she sure is a lousy lay. I dunno, I'm not a man, but she acts bored with it the whole time, never moves, gives an "mmmm" here and there, and jokes around. Sure, she may look hot, and have some oral talents, but when it comes to getting it on, I was hardly impressed.

Ms. Brightside....

Spring has Sprung! It rained a torential downpour, and what do I get? A stank downstairs. It smelled so musty and gross, I had to stay up Tuesday night cleaning the downstairs carpets, and putting two fans on them, and the de-humidifier. When I get my next place, It won't be in the middle of a river. I got enough problems with pets, let alone water stank!

Speaking of flowers, I had to order flowers for one of my VP's wives this week. I guess I thought that stuff only happened in the movies. And, I know he had nothing else going on for hours when he asked me to do it. I don't mind, Bubba's mom works at the florist, so it was a fun call for me to make.What'd she get? 21 red roses, for 21 years of marriage. Sent by the secretary. Ha! It cost $125. For flowers. *Sigh*

When I meet the man of my dreams, he wont think twice about doing things like that. Or, having his secretary do it. It's the thought that counts! At least he picked out what he wanted, right? And, can you imagine how wonderful 21 roses would smell? *sigh* I'll buy my own fucking roses. Better yet, I'll buy my own sunflowers. Their way cuter, and smell delish!

Speaking of work. Everything that comes to work, is opened in the mail room. No trading of business secrets, or shipping merchandise in our out of here. So, when I get my VP's mail it's already opened. I open it, and file it in folders. Anyhoo, someone I work for got a card from one of the field employees, saying that their hot and cant wait to see them in May. Nice huh? Men are all the same.

So, you remember how I said CP stopped calling me? Apparently, that's cus he was in the hoosgow. The slammer. The pen. Behind bars. Locked up. Nice, huh? Felony. A felony. I mean seriously, laugh if you want about me and all my thought changing practices with "The Secret", but I have been asking for a sign on what to do with the whole relationship thing.

I just Don't know about that boy. He said it's from back in November, which it very well could be. I've always been like a magnet for this sort of thing. I'm turning it off. No more addicts. I can't handle it anymore, it sucks your freaking energy, and makes you forget about yourself. It's too easy to blame them for everything, and forget that you have your own problems. I'm trying so hard to get myself put back together. I'm done giving myself away. Being told that I wasn't 'there for' someone, when clearly, I was the only one there. He was too busy worrying about his next fix to see it. I deserve more.

He is the one who made the choices that got him where he is. Not me. He was too busy breaking the law, while I moved on with someone else, and I am the one who is blamed for moving on. Forget that he broke the law. And lied to me. For ummmm....the ZILLIONTH time. And disappeared for two weeks. I'm the bad person for what I did. I'm done thinking that myself, and I'll be damned if I let someone else try to make me feel bad for my choices. I made them. It's my life. That's all I really wanna say about it.

Like a ray of sunshine I got a call from a girl at the po-po station, wondering if I wanted to give up any shifts. She's off next weekend, maybe she doesn't realize it's Easter? Whatever, sorry about your luck! So, now instead of working every wknd, I work every OTHER weekend. Which rocks. Yay me!

Kat got a new car that she is picking up today. She got a Mazda Miata 5 hardtop convertible. Have I ever mentioned how she sucks with her trips to Italy and Amsterdam, and her brand spanking new car? I can't be jealous, cus there is enough
for everyone. Jealousy comes from the thought that there is not enough good fortune to go around. See, one day, I'm going to have everything I want too. So, I can't hate her for it. Bitch.

Is there anything better than Cheez-its? I think not. Except maybe a Reese's Peanut Butter Egg. But they are completely two separate things. So they can both be awesome in their own way.

Did you watch Lost? OMG. Loved it.

Like Attracts Like.....

Monday. Not much to say about a Monday. It's hot outside. I slept with my window open and I was still hot. It's either snowing, or hotter than hell. I can hardly wait for it to get hotter. I'm lying of course. I had a nice weekend. Friday I swept and cleaned my carpets. Its a regular occurance for me. This time I scotch guarded them mofos.

Oh, I failed to mention that I got my tax money! I've been willing it to arrive. Know what I got to do with it? I bought stuff for my dog at the pharmacy. Not fun stuff, eye stuff, ear stuff, skin stuff. A girl gets some extra money, and she has to buy practical things. Something doesn't seem right here. But you know, I'm reading "The Secret" so I have been focusing on being wealthy. So, when I checked out at Rite Aid, I got a number to call and enter to win $10,000. I took this as a sign from the universe, and I promptly called.

I forgot to mention that on Friday while reading The Secret, I came to a part that said to use the book to find the answers by asking for it, and flipping to a page. I did. I wanted to find the perfect relationship, I opened the book right to the part about loving yourself, and having a relationship with you. Imagine that.

I've been spending my 10 G's in my mind. With my new wealth, I'm going to pay off my car, and my credit cards, put maybe a grand away, and put the rest down on my house or condo. I might buy myself a new computer too. Since I'll be able to afford the internet. Saturday it was beyoooootiful out. I drove to Best Buy to get a CD. I have misplaced my Edwin McCain Scream and Whisper CD but you know how Best Buy blows balls and never carries anything out of the ordinary. So I got Three Days Grace instead. I freaking love "Pain" and now I can listen to it forever. (Pain, without love, Pain, I cant get enough, Pain, I like it rough, cus I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all)

Upon my checkout from the store, I got a survey to win a $10,000 shopping spree to Best Buy. Since I'm suppose to be visualizing things as though I already have them....I've had so much fun. Oh, I won't forget the little people. When you think about it, 10 grand isn't a lot of money. Saturday night I went to see the new Hills Have Eyes with Kat. It so fucking rocked. They sell beer at the theater now. $4 a bottle, but nonetheless, it's beer. We went to meet my brother after the movie for drinks, and ended up getting home at 4:30 a.m. I can still rock it.

I got my schedule for April at job #2, and guess what? I work every weekend. Lucky me. The money will be nice, but I told them I needed the 28th off and they scheduled me. I called a coworker to see if she wanted any shifts cus she got only 1 weekend. She took one, but not the 28th. No one wants to trade midnight shifts. Cus we all have full time jobs, and we all fucking hate them.

It seems though, that I wont end up needing the 28th off anyhow. CP has decided in only his own true fashion, to stop calling me again. No explanation, just no contact. Well, whatever. Maybe it's for the best. I just think a girl deserves a goodbye, piss off...something! That's usually my problem, I hang on til the bitter end. You know, getting kicked in the face only to ask for another kick. This is sorta like when I lost my job, and he was 'there for me' for a day, and then disappeared, the same goes with the death of my pet. He was there that day and I havn't heard from him since. I'm over it. I'm moving on. I have my whole life ahead of me. I'm not going to keep going thru this and going back. It's just not cool!

P.S. I finally saw 'The Departed' that movie was freaking awesome! I didn't expect to like it.

She's Like The Wind....

Has anyone heard the new cover, of Patrick Swayze's fantastic one hit wonder, She's Like The Wind? I'm hearing this for the first time, thinking to myself. Um, this sounds familiar. Yet, it's so different, it took the chorus to hit me. No. Fucking. Way. That is just wrong. Some things, are better left alone. If you havn't heard it, you have to. Oh no they didn't.

And, speaking of songs. I'm enjoying my new Chiller station on Direct TV. I've watched the original "Shining" commercial-free. "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane", a classic! "Demon Seed" the book that I loved by Dean Koontz, like all his movies was really shitty. "Cat People". "Cat's Eye". And, I now have "Tales from the Crypt" on my wish list. Which brings me to the music part. I thought..am I just senile, or did the Crypt Keeper have a rap? I seemed to remember it, but I could have been confusing him with Max Headrom.

I found the video this weekend on You Tube, where all good things from your past are resurrected! Remember this little ditty?

Why does it take my dog 2 seconds to shit on the floor, but an hour to sniff out the perfect spot in the yard? I busted her ass in my bedroom trying to drop a load, and took her outside, where she sniffed, and sniffed, and sniffed before she could let 'er rip. Why?

I'm going this weekend to see The Hills Have Eyes 2 w/Kat. I'm not living like I'm poor anymore, The Secret says to act like you have money, to bring more into your life. Besides, I have a free pass from Christmas. I am pretty excited.

Wish good luck to Tayray as she embarkes upon a new phase in her life, and leaves the loser ass company that "eliminated the job" of her friend. Good for her. Their going down anyways!

I'm off to a meeting. Lucky Me. Happy Friday everyone.

Not a very fun post today. My Chelsea bunny died yesterday. She was just as much my baby as my other pets. It's really sad. The way she looked when I got home I knew she was gone. She didn't look like it was an easy death, which made it worse to look at. Luckily CP came over, and he got her out and wrapped her in a towel for me.

From work, I called my vet, who is closed on Wednesdays. You'd think I would learn that after all this time. Theyd have to call her into the emergency hospital for me. I did pray yesterday for her to go on her own if that was what was meant to be. I didn't want to have to take her to emergency, go through all the hoping, and end up having to put her down. I feel really guilty that I havnt been able to keep up with her monthly visits for her ear since losing my
job in November. I don't know what it was that killed her, but I'm sure that didn't help. She also had a chronic respiratory infection, it flared up and she'd be treated, and it would subside.

I didn't say goodbye to her until CP dug the hole. I couldn't look at her. Looking at her made it so much worse. I put her in a box with a towel, and marked her spot with a bunny statue. I will miss her funny little antics. Stealing dollar bills from my purse. Her incessant bunny kisses. Her and her slinky. Her whiskers in my face. It's one more soul to meet me when it's my time to go.

Here is a tip. When someone's pet dies, don't say "get another -fill in the blank-". Just because you think of the pet as not part of the family doesn't mean they don't. My bunnies were just as important to me as my cats.

I was happy CP was there to help me. I couldn't do all that stuff without being hysterical. He got my gas for me. Tried to make me feel better, which is hard when a pet dies. Then he pissed me off. Brought up the trip he wants to take me on in April, back to the cabin we went to in December. He asked if I was going to tell him I slept with someone else while we are there, like I did the last time. Basically asking me if I've been with someone recently, while I'm upset that my bunny died. It pissed me off. A lot.

I slept until 11, watched Lost, and went to bed. I wasn't even excited for Lost. When I watched it, I was less impressed. What the fuck is wrong with John? He pisses me off. Sounds to me, like the people on the Island, all know "The Secret" too. But I wont be blowing anything up.

Times Are Changing...

I don't think I'll ever adjust to the time change. And now I find out, my Tivo, being an extension of my soul, is in the same boat. I got online to pay my bill, and there are instructions posted:

New software is available for all DIRECTV DVR with TiVo® Service platforms. In order to install the new software, your DVR must be connected to a phone line. If your DVR is not connected to a phone line, you will need to connect it and force a phone call to the DIRECTV Service.

Need I mention again, that having a landline is otherwise obsolete, except where my fucking TV is concerned? I havn't done the stupid "daily call" thing with it for 617 days and nothing tragic has happened. I'm not even sure why they want you to go thru all the trouble of making a daily call.


For the three weeks that follow the new Daylight Savings Time start date 3/11), your DIRECTV DVR with TiVo® Service may display the incorrect time. Again, to be clear, this is only a cosmetic issue and should not affect your Season Pass™ and WishList™ recordings.
If you have any MANUAL recordings scheduled between 3/11 and 4/1, you will need to adjust those recordings as appropriate.

It's affecting my recordings. It isn't recognizing some shows because I have them set up as a manual record, not a season pass. This comes in handy when you are recording old shows that don't appear as first run...like Charmed. (shut it) Or Tales From the Crypt.
Otherwise, it'll record every time it's on, which is 15 times a day. They suggest you change them, and then change them back. Fuck all that mess.

You see they state that it will fix itself on April first. Am I a dumbass, or isn't April first also April Fool's Day? Does this count as a legal disclaimer?

So, I'm geared up yesterday to call my credit card company, that raised my limit another 1,000 as a "reward" for being such a "good customer". I tried to call, and ask them to lower my rate instead. It's 29%. For the past 7 years. The non-english speaking woman told me they would send me a letter, blah blah, blow more smoke up my ass. In 7 years they raised my limit almost 4 grand, but won't lower my interest? So I decided to transfer as much as I could onto my other card as I have been doing, I only had about $300 available according to my records. When I logged on to do this, they had raised my limit by $500!

Now I thought yesterday about paying off debt a lot. Not about being in debt like usual. Not asking how I'm going to do it. I thought about being debt free. I told myself I am wealthy. And, the universe made the path for me to fix the situation. It's not gone, but it's better. And that's something I can live with.

I don't think it works for bunnies though. My Chelsea is sick. I worked all wknd, and due to the schedule, and their usual 'play time' schedule, I didn't have them out of their cage much at all. Monday, Chelsea was acting her silly self. She seemed thinner, but I also havn't given them treats in a long time, and she was a big porker to begin with. Yesterday I fed them, and met Kat out for a beer, and to chit chat. When I got home to let them out, it was clear something was wrong. Usually she hops right out but she just laid there. I picked her up and she's practically lifeless. So I spent the rest of the night snuggling with her, and picturing her healthy. I couldn't leave her and wake up to her being gone, so I slept on the floor with her in the bunny room. I put her in her bed next to me, and she got under the blankets to snuggle with me all night.

Think good thoughts about my girl. This is the last time I replace Boo's mate. I think he has something he keeps passing to the bunnies. She has that recurring abscess in her ear, and an upper respiratory infection that comes and goes that she keeps being treated for. I'm heartbroken. I don't want to go home and have her be gone. I don't have the $100 for an emergency let alone how much it will cost for everything else. I'm hoping an appt opens up at her regular vet.

What a Difference a Day Makes....

This is one of those stories, you don't want to believe. Yesterday I wrote this somber post below, about how I needed a change in my life. I never had time to post it, because I've been busy. By the end of the day, I decided I just havn't been myself latley. I'm tired of being in a funk, and I remembered the only thing that seemed to inspire me in the past several months was The Secret. I used it to get a job, and money. So I thought I'll go to Borders, and see how much the book is. It was $24, but half off. I thought, if that's not a sign I don't know what is. So I bought it. I went home, and started reading. I watched the Tivo'd Oprah I saved on the topic. The Ellen. And then, it was the topic on The View yesterday. All signs lead to The Secret.

While I was reading, I thought about a girl at work, who is going through a similar thing as me right now. I thought about how I should tell her about The Secret, even though it didn't seem like her cup of tea. I started making my dream board. I wrote down phrases to remember. Like Believe. Have Faith. I made my polar opposite list. Then I started to write what I wanted. Well, duh, I dunno what I want. That's my problem. The book said to start with what your grateful for and it'll flow from there. And it did. I now have a list of what I want. On a sidenote I spent this past weekend at work looking up condo's that I couldn't afford, imagining myself living there. That's part of the secret, and I didn't even know it. Dream big. It will be mine. It all goes along with the motto I have right there in my sidebar.

Anyways, so I get to work and when my coworker comes in I show her my book, and I say "I'm learning the secret". The look she had was of disbelief. See...she watched the movie last night, and was equally as inspired. We took this as a sign for us to move forward. And now, how I felt before today........

I think I'm depressed. I've been down this road before, and it seems all-too familiar. I was diagnosed with depression oh, about 8 years ago, and have stopped medication because like most people, I thought I was fine...you know, because medication makes you feel fine. And, I have had a lot of distractions over the years to keep me from thinking about myself.

A three year relationship with someone who was abusive to me. After a seven year one that was equally shitty, that ended in divorce. Then, the two year carrying-on with the sex part of that relationship. Thinking, that's all I need. I seem to recall while it was nice to pretend I was a man and just have the sex with no emotions...there were definately still emotions there. Only worse. Why doesn't he want me? Why am I good enough to have sex with, but nothing else? For a while it was fun, and empowering. But in the end it made me feel reallly bad about myself.

A four year relationship with someone I don't think I really loved, but he loved me and that made me feel like I had worth. The bad part of that was, I felt unfulfilled for a long time. I was able to blame the way I felt on him. It's always easier that way.

Most recently, CP. His problems with money, and drugs served as a pretty good cover for my own problems. Much like my ex-husband. Letting someone continuously disappoint you, lie to you, and hurt you, leads to a lot of self-hatred. Yes, he did those things to me and they hurt, but I accepted it.

And now, I'm suppose to be OK with it. Forget about everything that happened, and start fresh with him? I can't. I've told him all this. I'm not ready for any relationship. I need a better one with myself. I worked hard over the years to put all the peices of my shattered self-image back together. Only to repeat old patterns, and wind up in the same exact place. I don't like myself like that. I don't want to be dependant on someone else. And like I told CP, I don't want to be with someone who is OK with me not liking me.

My ex-husband once told me, that the way I handled the death of his friend forever changed his feelings towards me. Nevermind the many family tragedies I helped pull him through. That one thing made a huge difference in his life. I never believed him. Until now. One thing CP said to me runs like a tape in my mind every single day. It was after he moved out. And after I lost my job. When I needed someone the most, he was not there for me. On top of everything I was dealing with in my own life, he told me he had been back on drugs for months. Yet, I still wanted him to be in my life. He told me that he knows now, no matter what he does to me, I will always take him back.

Always? I don't think anyone always does anything. It made me realize, how he saw me. Basically, I'm a doormat. I thought I hung that job title up years ago, but apparently, it fit so well, I like to keep putting it on. Of course, he says he didn't mean it that way, but it really doesn't matter what he thinks, it's how I feel, how I took it. The same way you can look at a person and see perfection, they can sit at home and hate themselves without anyone having a clue.

I need to find happiness on my own. I know I can, I've done it before. It's not easy, because being alone forces you to examine yourself. I've had a lot of time for that, and it's just what I needed. I've been feeling like isolating myself. I don't do anything I use to enjoy doing. And no one can save me. This is my thing, and I have to deal with it. Me and CP have been going back and forth over being together, not being together. Living together, not living together.

He doesn't understand that I can't just forget everything that happened. He may have changed a lot since being off of drugs, but I have too. He use to live with a clouded mind, and I did too. Addiction affects everyone you are close to. I can see clearly now. And I don't want to be the kind of person that allows people to hurt me anymore. I don't want to keep building walls around my heart, because I miss out on what I crave the most, and that's love. Passionate. Stomach flops, always on my mind, can't get enough. Safe. Secure. Love.

Luck O' The Polish...

For St. Patty's Day, I wasn't blessed with the Luck O The Irish, no leprechauns brought me a pot of gold. Being of polish descent, I usually get the big screw, and in turn, have a story. I worked at the police station until 11. I went home, let the dog out, fed the animals, and made the 30 minute trek to meet my friends in the valley. Everyone else was also in the valley so parking took forever. I got to the bar at 12:30. I had a couple drinks, and some drama started, so we all had to leave.

Now, I peed before I left, but that's a long freaking drive. I had to go *SO* bad. I live in the boondocks, and the expressway is desolate. No gas stations to stop at. But one. If I can just make it to that bright Citgo in the darkness. A few seconds more. Hold on...hold on..I pull into the only gas station for miles. And the inside is fucking closed. Dammit.

I get back into the car, and start thinking of what I can do. I'm 15 minutes from home still. It's getting increasingly harder to hold it. I thought, I'm going to pee in something, what do I have? Now, my friend Bubba was able to pee in a cup once while driving, so I thought there was nothing to it. I had nothing. Nada. Wait, there's this plastic bag.

So, I pulled down my pants and underwear, while driving, and positioned the bag underneath me. I thought there's no way I can hold myself up enough to do this, and it 's going to just run all over my seat, and my car is going to smell like piss forever.

Have. To. Pee. I start thinking of side streets I can get off, and relieve myself. No, with my luck, the second I pull over, a cop will catch me pissing outside. There was a guy hauled in last night at the police station for pissing in a parking lot outside the Irish Exchange. I didn't wanna be that girl.

I keep driving. At this point, I'm hugging the steering wheel. Positioned perfectly to avoide any accidental leakage. Almost home. Almost home. Breathe. I finally just tell myself, that I can make it, and it'll be ok, if I need to, I can pee in my driveway. I take the exit before my normal exit, because it runs the back roads to my house, and I didn't want to drive "thru town" with my pants and underwear down around my knees, and wind up passing a cop. My one-horse town has nothing better to do than harass late night drivers. See the last time they harassed me here.

I'm off the expressway. I tell myself, you'll be home in one minute. I started counting to appease my bladder. One, two, three....Stop sign. Four, five, six...Oh god, by now, I'm shivering I have to go so bad. I make it to the last stop sign to the main road. Two blocks from home. One car passes. Another car passes, oh fuck, it's a mother fucking cop. I'm turning left. I have on my signal. I'm not doing anything wrong except trying not to piss myself.

I wait for him to pass, and I turn left. Now, I'm behind him. With my pants down around my knees. One block from home. He turns right into the church at the end of my street. The sight of my last pullover. Does a quick turn, and BAM, Now, he's behind me. I think FUCK! He's going to pull me over, my first thought is to try to pull up my pants, but then I think no, you'll swerve and he'll for sure pull you over. How can you explain how you are not drunk, but you have your pants down because you had to pee so bad you were going to pee in a plastic bag that you are now sitting on, in your car, while driving.

I thought I just got off work at the police station, I can tell them that, they can call if they want to. I turn on my right turn signal. I'm on my street. Finally. I can pee. And honestly, all I can think is, if he pulls me over, I'm going to have to piss my pants. The bastard turns right behind me. I made a quick left into my driveway, and up to my garage, and quickly turn off my car.

Safety. The police car sat at the bottom of my hill, until I exited my car. I couldn't make it obvious I had no pants on, so I pulled them up enough to where my coat covered the gap that would be my bare ass. Put the key in the door, turned out the light, and they drove off. I ran upstairs to the bathroom. And listen people, peeing never felt so good.Seriously, in no other town, is driving at 2 a.m. such a horrible thing to do. I have no idea why he felt the need to turn around and follow me. He was behind another perfectly good late-night driver. What was so special about me? I followed all the rules.

Luck of The Irish?...

It's the weekend. And I get to work Saturday and Sunday. Woo hoo! Nothing like a 7 day work week to round out your life. Last night I was in getting my clothes ready for work and I thought, is tomorrow jeans day? (Friday) Yes, Grey's Anatomy was on tonight, and yesterday was Lost. I'm so pathetic. My life revolves too much around the boob tube. But how awesome was Grey's? George and Izzie? I'm glad their finally giving her a story line that doesn't involve crying over Denny. Anyone catch the new show October Road? How about I freaking loved it?!



And, I made myself dinner last night. This may seem like no big feat, but I never cook for myself. I eat bran flakes, or orzo (which Kat got me addicted to). Or frozen vegetables. Or whole grain tortillas with cheese and lettuce. Cooking is for the birds. I also did this while working out. Well, I checked on things while I was walking on the treadmill. And...it was pretty delicious too! I made a turkey meatloaf, with egg whites, not whole eggs. It actually turned out really good! I used onion soup mix that I use for hamburgers instead of the usual meatloaf seasonings. I also made a big pot of homeade garlic and parmesean mashed potatos. And green beans. Yumm-eee. I enjoyed my scrumptious meal, and remembered why I don't cook for myself. The whole ordeal took a couple hours, with clean up. But then, I have left overs for days. A huge perk of living alone.



Yesterday, one of the other VP's called me at work, and asked me to get one of my
VP's on the phone for him. My VP was on the road, so I called his cell phone. Nothing happened. It didn't ring or anything. So I go.."What the fuck?" and I hung up. I tried again. Same thing, 10 seconds go by and nothing. So I say "This is fucking weird". And I hung up. I tried again, same damn thing. So I say "This is bullshit" and I hung up. I decided to just call the district manager my VP was traveling with and try to get him that way. Meanwhile one of the other secretaries asks me "Were you trying to get your VP on the phone?" I said yes, she said he's on my line. So I pick up her line, and he's laughing. He said "were you trying to get hold of me?" I said "yes, (so and so) wanted to speak to you, but it was weird, it didn't ring or anything" he said, it rang on my end, I could hear you. So, we had a good laugh over it. I could just picture him answering his phone "Hello" then hearing "What the fuck" and being hung up on. Classic. You would think I'd learn to clean up my mouth.



I'm going to get a sweeper tonight. I always buy cheap ones, and let me tell you...when you have 4 cats, a dog and two rabbits, one thing you need is a good sweeper. The last one I got was a hoover windtunnel. I got it at an outlet store because it was cheap, and "refurbished". By "refurbished" I mean it was peice of shit. The belt melts, and the whole thing smokes. I have to always have extra's on hand. The filters need cleaned after every sweep, and for me that's every day. I have to unclog each hose by shoving a cat feather stick into it to dislodge hair balls and rabbit pellets that accumulate. (this is a tried and true tactic btw) I do this shit every day. This requires loosening a screw and taking the thing apart. I'm tired of it.



Kohl's is having a huge sale, and I'm hoping to be able to either get one really cheap with my measley second job check, or put a good one in layaway. The prospect of a new sweeper excites me. Hi, I'm 31 and getting old sucks.



In order to afford said sweeper, I will not be paying the cable bill. Have I mentioned latley how bad it sucks to now be poor? while I am not destitute, and I can pay my bills and have some extra, I can't afford to have health insurance. I did figure while doing my taxes, that I made 18,000 more a year last year, while I worked 2 jobs and had a roomate! That's no typo folks. That's like a whole other persons income. I made enough for two people to live and what have I got to show for it? See why I am so freaking depressed? Just another reason taxes are evil.



Then, to top it off, I owe the state $5. Fuck the state. It snowed five times and they can't even keep the fucking roads salted, but I have to pay them $5 above and beyond what they already stole from me? There is supposedly some hardship tax, but that doesn't apply to me cus I was rich last year. Of course, I wasn't really rich, but the state seems to think I was.



Hope everyone has a happy St. Patty's day. Think of me working away while you enjoy your green beer and irish whiskey. Sniff sniff. But then, I'll be thinking about all of you while I'm hearing all the DUI calls on the radio at the police station, and hoping I don't see any of you pop up on the screen. Or better yet, I hope none of you get hauled in and I have to watch you on the freaking screen. And next week, I'll get a measley little paycheck for sacrificing my weekend fun.