"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The first time....

This is my first time, I'm a virgin. Ive been journaling for about 20 years, but I dont have as much time to do that anymore, so this is the next route.
Today I'd like to discuss my new found freedom. And the thing about being single again, is that you tend to go a little 'man crazy'. You got one, you dont care, you dont got one, where the men at? And why do women feel the need to go back to exes? Ive heard a thousand times that your ex is your ex for a reason. Which is true! But still I kept in touch with one such ex! And even though we both know we drove each other nuts, we still talk. We make better friends. But we discuss more than friendship!

I dated 'those we dont speak of' as we will refer to my recent ex, 4 years. He knows who he is, the one that I have to survey parking lots for to make sure I dont run into! We broke up March 18, the day after our 4 year anniversary. After not speaking for 2 weeks, which was normal for us because, God forbid you talk about things. Did I mention we lived together? I moved out of the bedroom the last few weeks we were together, and we lived like strangers! I moved in with him for 3 years. I promised myself before I met him, that I wouldnt give up my independance unless I was engaged. Rule #1, dont break promises to yourself! Because Now, 4 years later he doesnt want to marry me. And who wouldnt want to marry me? Im a likeable gal, some day my prince will come! It's the first break up I've had that was I guess mutual, even though I was perfectly content. I guess why settle for contentment, when there is happiness to be had in the world?

So, today I stole his magazine subscription. Now, before you think it was wrong, I paid for the stupid thing!! And, I deserve it. Its the least I could get out of 4 years. He wanted to be my friend, but how are you friends with someone you loved? Um, hello?

So, in closing, Single is not a disease! Society tries to make you think that!

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