"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Thursday, May 03, 2012

Stuff You Only Admit on your Blog....

While I am a very open person, there are some things I only admit to under the "guise" of anonimity.

I have mentioned once or twice (ha!) how I have dropped a considerable amount of weight. And how I also, have wanted to get a tummy tuck due to the floppy stomach I have inherited by "becoming more healthy". But having researched this surgery extensively, it scares the shit out of me. I have visions of my guts falling out if the staples don't hold.

It isn't as bad since I gained 15lbs (and lost 5 of that, yesss) but it's still floppy. It's nothing doing crunches could ever fix. And I already work out three times a day, cardio, and strength. And I eat "clean" 85% of the time. (nothing processed, well besides wine!)

In clothes, I feel amazing. But when I put my pants on, it scrunches up my belly into an accordian-like fold, because, it's just "there". In the way. Probably impeding me from going down another size!

Honestly, I was way more confident overweight and naked, than being "thin" and naked. Because at least when I was overweight, my body didn't "flap" around when I jump, or do....anything else physical. wink, wink...ahem.. I also didn't have cellulite. Or an akward wrinkle where my butt meets my hamstrings that use to be filled with fat, and now just looks weird, and  the thought of a bathing suit with a wrinkled ass at 36 horrifies me! (that I am trying desperately to squat and lunge away!)

 I've always been a cocoa butter slatherer, baby oil luber, and oatmeal bath soaker, and at least a half gallon of water if not more a day-er. I work hard to have soft skin, so what is left?


And I'm here to tell the blogosphere, that I actually went to my local Walgreens, and purchased a tube of preparation H (I can't wait until the next time I go there, like, tomorrow) because I read that weight lifters use this to tighten their skin to show more muscle.(thanks, internets!)

You slather it on, and wrap the area in saran wrap overnight. I have not yet tried this because I am mostly afraid to ruin my new bed with the stench of butt lube. Plus, it occurred to me that even if it does work, it has got to be a temporary fix. Maybe for use before hitting the beach?


I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but this sounds the silliest!

What kind of "tricks" have you tried?


2 comments:

Jercy John said...

Nice, keep posting such stuff in the future as well. We will be looking at you.
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If your body is a temple, mine must be a mansion! said...

I ALWAYS wear a tank top under the shirts I wear in an effort to "smooth out" the crease between my belly and pants (I have a slight muffin top since gaining a few pounds back - but I refuse to buy a bigger pair of pants). The extra layer is like a security blanket for me - even if it doesn't totally work - in my mind all is good.

Did you totally giggle while typing "but lube"? Cause I just did... haha!!