"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Stuff You Only Admit on your Blog....

While I am a very open person, there are some things I only admit to under the "guise" of anonimity.

I have mentioned once or twice (ha!) how I have dropped a considerable amount of weight. And how I also, have wanted to get a tummy tuck due to the floppy stomach I have inherited by "becoming more healthy". But having researched this surgery extensively, it scares the shit out of me. I have visions of my guts falling out if the staples don't hold.

It isn't as bad since I gained 15lbs (and lost 5 of that, yesss) but it's still floppy. It's nothing doing crunches could ever fix. And I already work out three times a day, cardio, and strength. And I eat "clean" 85% of the time. (nothing processed, well besides wine!)

In clothes, I feel amazing. But when I put my pants on, it scrunches up my belly into an accordian-like fold, because, it's just "there". In the way. Probably impeding me from going down another size!

Honestly, I was way more confident overweight and naked, than being "thin" and naked. Because at least when I was overweight, my body didn't "flap" around when I jump, or do....anything else physical. wink, wink...ahem.. I also didn't have cellulite. Or an akward wrinkle where my butt meets my hamstrings that use to be filled with fat, and now just looks weird, and  the thought of a bathing suit with a wrinkled ass at 36 horrifies me! (that I am trying desperately to squat and lunge away!)

 I've always been a cocoa butter slatherer, baby oil luber, and oatmeal bath soaker, and at least a half gallon of water if not more a day-er. I work hard to have soft skin, so what is left?

And I'm here to tell the blogosphere, that I actually went to my local Walgreens, and purchased a tube of preparation H (I can't wait until the next time I go there, like, tomorrow) because I read that weight lifters use this to tighten their skin to show more muscle.(thanks, internets!)

You slather it on, and wrap the area in saran wrap overnight. I have not yet tried this because I am mostly afraid to ruin my new bed with the stench of butt lube. Plus, it occurred to me that even if it does work, it has got to be a temporary fix. Maybe for use before hitting the beach?

I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, but this sounds the silliest!

What kind of "tricks" have you tried?


Jercy John said...

Nice, keep posting such stuff in the future as well. We will be looking at you.
Pet sitting | Pet sitter

If your body is a temple, mine must be a mansion! said...

I ALWAYS wear a tank top under the shirts I wear in an effort to "smooth out" the crease between my belly and pants (I have a slight muffin top since gaining a few pounds back - but I refuse to buy a bigger pair of pants). The extra layer is like a security blanket for me - even if it doesn't totally work - in my mind all is good.

Did you totally giggle while typing "but lube"? Cause I just did... haha!!