Discount Employee...

All I know is that today I'm as tired as they come. I can hardly wait until next week whenI have to work 16 hours after working a 40 hour week. Boy, it doesn't get any better than this people. I need to go to bed before freaking midnight. It's hard for me to do, because I feel like it's a wasteto be home for a few hours and go to bed. So much to do, so little time.

I think I have successfully lost all the chocolate bulge I gained, as my ass and thighs aren't squashed into my pants like last week. It's the little things. Men wonder why 'secretaries' get fat then all they send them for Christmas is chocolate? It's a conspiracy I tell you.

Today I'm sitting with the boss, to plan out my next few weeks in my planner with what reports I'll do, and when. Then I have to also do newsletters, and awards. The sales people get a billion awards a month and we get nothin. Let the complaining begin. It's my nature. I'm going to be a busy bee, as all the VP's are in for the next twoweeks, that means they need crap, and get a billion calls. It'll be a true test. I also have to find a bunch of quotes for 2 of my VP's for them to pick one for their newsletter. Being creative wasn't part of the job description m'kay?

Speaking of tests, I have to successfully explain how to do my job to my boss soon. It's all part of their training, to be sure you learn. They seem impressed that they show me something onceand I'm doing it. I don't find that impressive, I think it's common sense to take notes when you learn something so you can do it on your own, but, whatever. Be impressed, fine by me! Girl at work got a $200 ring for $50. I can't wait til my 90 days is up. I want somethiiiiiin!!

Wanna know something retarded I did at work? We have two District mgrs with the same name only 1 letter is different, the second letter of their last name. I set up a conference call for one andemailed BOTH ladies store mgrs that they had a mandatory conference call like an asshole. I even set it up for 28 vs 14 people. So I had to try to recall the one sent in error which I hope worked or I'm gonna feel like a total asshole. That is my new girl dumbshit moment of yesterday. But, I set the call up with no problem. That's the upside!

So I love the Bath and Body Breathe line. Yum diddily um dum! A girl at work gave me Serenity, andI got myself Delightful. It's like a lil slice of heaven to my senses.

What are your exciting New Year's plans? Hmm, not as exciting as mine I'm sure. I'm going to see Edwin! I cannot wait, can't wait. I don't know if we should stay up in Cleveland afterwardsor truck it back to Akron. I don't even know what my friends are doing. All I know is this is my last free weekend, there will be much drinking, and much sleeping to be had by yours truly. I want some of that yummy amish wine but I'll just drink it all. I might get some white zinfendel or champagne instead. *sigh*

On Tyra yesterday I saw a girl who eats paper to lose weight. I thought this was dumb, so my New Years resolution this year, is not to eat paper to lose weight. You know, somethingI can keep to.

When "positive" is a good thing...

I watched the most interesting thing on Ellen a while back. These people were ontalking about the power of thought. There was some movie they did called "The Secret"I think you have to buy it. Anyway it was just about how you bring into your life the good and the bad by the way you think. This goes along with my favorite phrase, 'you don't become what you want, you become what you believe'. Positive thinking. I'm a believer. So the guy said to sit and meditate on what you want in your life every day, block out all distractions, and think soley of what you want. Eventually it will come into your life. Don't just think about it, picture yourself doing it, achieving it, in the situation. It's all about the fact that we subconsiously put into place the steps to get us where we want to be.

So, I was unemployed when I saw it. And CP had been a dick to me. So at first I tought about hooking up with someone else. A lot. It happened! Next, I thought about a job. Which, was hardnot having a job to think about besides the one I got canned from. But once I interviewed at my current job, that was all I thought about. I pictured myself at work, and working on the things they said the job entailed.

I got the job. I thought about CP acting like a decent human being to me...and now he is. I still don't believe it, so I'm not getting sucked back in but still...You have to admit its coincidental.
Which started me thinking about this whole positive thinking thing. I'm not talking about thinking "I wish I had a job" it's setting time aside to devote to meditation.

I decided the next thing I would draw into my life would be money. They said on the show if you want more money, not to think about debt, because most people think about their debt and draw more debt into their lives, then wonder why "I'm always in debt". To attract money, picture yourself with money, how you would live, what you would do, imagine being prosperous. So, uh, I did. A lot.

And wouldnt you know, life pulled it to me? First, I got that last severence check that will really help me out. Then..I got that second job. Yes, I know I said I didn't get it. Because the guy told me if I didn't hear from him by 7 that Friday night, I didn't get it. So I still sat and thought about having money. Working a second job. Honestly, I pictured myself working at the police station. Yesterday, I got a call from the temp service, offering me the job. I know it sounds like a load of crap, but I'm telling you, the mind is a powerful thing.

I start the second job next Thursday and Friday at 6. I'm not sure when I'll be working yet but it's suppose to be weekends and some weeknights 'as needed'. So...there you have it. I will have money for savings. Money to pay off credit cards, money to pay the government, and live. I wouldn't have had this money if I didn't get let go from my job. Weird how that happens, one bad thing can turn into a positive. I knew eventually I'd find the good in it.

My new thought is buying a condo. I'd like a house, but I don't want the responsibility being a single woman of all the upkeep, and a condo seems better to me. Plus, I need to move closer to work. A 30 minute drive is for the freaking birds. Wish me luck!

P.S. I have the warmest most snuggly bed in the world and I hate getting out of it.

When In Doubt Hide Your Money...

Another Day...another dollar. At least it's hump day, right? Yesterday at work, was a long day. I had nothing to do. I had nothing I could even pretend to do. Then one girl showed me some
reports I'll manipulate for the newsletters each VP does, which was mildly informative. Mostly boring. It was a long day. The only call I got was from a guy in loss prevention, stating one of my VP's stores couldn't open because the gate was broken. It would be 2 weeks until it was fixed. All the VP's are on vacation. And I'm the new girl.

I was in such a shitty mood which I'll blame on my maybe having PMS, if not, it's an excuse to be a bitch. I'm normally so bright and cheerful you know.

Today I found out one of the other secretaries is a fellow celebrity stalker. How awesome is that? She liked a guy from the show "In a Fix" and on an episode the guy's brother was on and
they showed the muffler shop where he worked. She found it online and called him last Fourth of July. She said he was so nice, she never did ask for his brothers phone number. I said that was the most awesome thing ever, and she must help me stalk Edwin. Er, I mean, contact him. *never publicly admit you've reached stalker status* I mean I told them I'm going to Edwin but uh, they know not the true obsessiveness that I posess.

Speaking of secretaries, they call us "admins" around here. Back in the day we use to call admins an 'ass' which is short for assistant. So...I guess I'd rather be and admin than an ass.

Celina wanted to know how well my rubber cake pan worked. Pretty nifty I must say. I had a 2 layer square cake. It was pretty awesome. It came right out of the pan too.

I did a billion things at home last night, changed sheets, washed the comforter, dishes, swept and mopped, vacummed, showered, 3 loads of laundry. Gave Fizzgig a bath. Yea, the cat. Which was a treat in itself. They get bathed about once a year. Persians never seem to do the job 100% on their own. Mostly they just make that horrible yowl like you are killing them but other than that their pretty good. Sometimes I think my work is never done.

I'm still on the hunt for a second job. Although, I did get more money from the old job than I expected in my last severence check. I am unsure what to do with it. I could pay off a credit card, or save it. I'm afraid if I save it the government will just take it from me. Seeing how I owe them for my taxes last year. Bastards. I'm afraid if I pay off a credit card, something will happen and I'll need that extra money. I could pay my taxes, but it's tax time again and they can just keep their freaking money. Making decisions blows. Um...it's December 27, and I have yet
to purchase my liscense tags. Here in Ohio you renew them on your birthday,
which was the 14th. Soon...I'll be breaking the law. I blame the Jackson police department for not hiring me.

Christmas is Over The goose got Fat...

Did everyone have a fun Christmas? It didn't seem like Christmas. No one but me was in the Christmas mood. As usual. What did you get from Santy Claus? I got Pirates two from my brother, hours of hot men for my personal viewing pleasure. Mom got me PJ pants with Cartman from South Park, they say "Whatevah" and "I do what I want" from the best episode ever, when Cartman goes on "Maury Povich". I cracked up. I got slipper socks, socks, a lamp, a sheep you dress up for the seasons, cat calendar, War of the roses (one of my favorite movies), Coasters for the stages of drunken-ness, towels, Momma made scarves, ummmmmm.....I can't remember everything. It's hard. But that's what I remember Mkay?

Saturday CP took me to Amish country to get wine. Mind you, I bought 4 bottles "for Christmas" and we drank 2 1/2 that night, then we went out to the Beir Haus with My brother and Kat at 11:30. That shit is the best wine ever. I encourage everyone to drink it. Rodeo Red. It's grape-y. MMMMM.

I kicked everyones asses in Silverstrike Bowling, as usual. Some things never change. I got a 160. Kat got pulled over on the way to the bar. A few weeks ago, she got a speeding ticket too. She has some kind of bad mojo when going out. So CP followed her to my house and drove her back. Since he was the sober driver. Men are good for some things you know.

When we got home, I sang that Who-song from the Grinch, only I don't know any of the words, so it went something like, "trim up the tree with whosaflats, jingle joobs and mussle tops" I was completely amused with myself.

Yesterday, on Christmas, me and my brother went to see Black Christmas. What's better on Christmas than a horror movie? Pretty much nothing. Only, it wasn't the best movie ever. But it was only $3.75 at this place by my house. They got cheap rates!

The best thing I did over the weekend, was I got tickets to see Edwin McCain. We know how much I love Edwin don't we? Guess what? He's ringing in the new year with ME! Uh-huh, you heard me right. New Year's with Edwin! I'll hear him sing Auld Lang Syne. However the fuck you spell it. I'm taking my damn camera this time too. I always forget, and I'm always pissed. I'm even getting another memory card, so I can take video. Ohhhhh the countdown begins. Only, I couldn't afford to get tickets any sooner, so I had to choose to get them at "will call" they besta have my god damn tickets when I get there, or someone will be sorry, and it wont be me m'kay?

I didn't get that job at the police station. I rushed there Friday to sit around for 20 minutes, and then meet with 6 people who asked me 1 question. Why did I want the job. Then the chief said that if I didn't hear from him by 7, I wouldn't hear from him. And...I didn't hear from him. Screw that mess. I've been trying to get that job since October. Now, I have to find another second job. Good luck to me.

Now? I'm one of 4 people on my entire side of the building. No bosses. That means I have nothing to do. Which means, my day is going to drag horribly. I've been here an hour and the phone rang one time. I'm going to think about how I'm not eating for a week. I am so freaking tired of food. Food food food. And my boobs hurt. And I'm bitchy. I think after 5 months, I'm finally having a period. Yea, I should go to the Dr, but um, I cant afford health insurance.

Ho Ho Ho...

Today I made it to work in about 15 minutes. Normally about a 30 minute drive. I also got to park about 1 mile vs. 2 miles from the building. That just means everyone in the free world is off but me. Bah Humbug. I can't express how tired I am. And...how much it will suck working 2 jobs again. I only had 7 months break from it. Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to work I go. I drove to the town hall which is near the police station I'll work at, and it took me 45 minutes. How's that for a fun trip. It's only 15 min from my house. I'm just hoping I don't have to work many days after work like I did before. But not having weekends off will also suck. Let's face it, work sucks no matter how you look at it.

Speaking of looking, I was thinking the stupidest thing. Have you ever thought about how animals go their whole lives without seeing themselves? I mean sure, some of them look in the mirror, but most don't. Does that mean they think they look like whatever is around them? Do the cat's think their like me? Or the dog? It might seem like a silly thought, but if you really think about it, you could ponder it for a long while. Like Steve Martin in "The Jerk" "I'm not black??!!"

So I got all the pictures off my camera, but CP did something to the photo editing program I used on the computer. I no findie. So, I have to use stupid microsoft editor which blows. Hopefully I'll have some pics posted over the weekend. I love to make you wait. Like I think you are on pins and needles. Humor me. Some day...I'll have the internet, like real people do. Won't that be fun? I'll have no life, but by dandy I'll have a computer. I miss myspace. Is that sick or what?

So at work I've been officially let go on answering the phones. Not like it's that big a deal, we all answer them, and I ran the damn switchboard at that shithole I worked at for 7 years. But you get the stupidest questions. Not knowing where to send them sucks, but I know it comes with time. We're only suppose to deal with district managers, and vice presidents but we get many a disgruntled store employee, or customer. Have I mentioned how helpful I am?

What's for Christmas dinner? I usually make a turkey, or some sort of chicken bake. I think I'm making crock pot chicken, and homeade au gratin potatos. Hopefully get my brother to make a salad or lasagna or something from work. He also better bring the cookies. I might have opened a present the other night from my mom and sister, but I can't say for sure or they'll be mad at me. But if I did open a gift, it would be one of those nifty rubber baking dishes that you plop cake out of when you bake it. Since that is what it might be, I might make a cake.

Merry Christmas Everyone!! Hope santa brings you lots of goodies!!

Cus I like to Complain...

It's almost Christmas time. What does this mean? I watched the Grinch and I thought, it still comes without presents, but is it the same? I have presents under the tree from my mom and sister, but I havn't given any. Giving is actually fun. Who wudda thunk it? My leaning Christmas tree has not fallen over again. It wants to. Have I mentioned yet, that they play Christmas muzak in the halls and bathrooms at work? Yea, it's festive. It seems like every time I have to piss, I hear Feliz Navidad. I use to think it was a fun song. Not so much anymore.

I don't even get paid for the holiday. What a bunch of shit. 90 days for me. I also have to wait 90 days to buy anything from the store at the office. I want something. Not that I can afford it. I brought a couple things in for my desk. You know, my red swingline stapeler, and pics of the "kids". I don't want to get too comfortable. Getting the boot after 7 years scares the shit out of you.

Wanna hear somethin funny? Old coworker keeps emailing me cus she can't do half the shit I did. Know something funnier? I tell her I don't remember. Guess what else? It takes her 3.5 days to do a newsletter it took me 2 hours to do. Sounds like their really saving money there. Assholes. She said she hates her job now. That place is going to hell in a handbasket, and when they get there, I'm going to poke at them with my pitchfork (cus of course I'll be there too). Poke poke, how's that feel fuckers?

I have not baked a cookie. It really doesn't seem like Christmas people. That's what happens when your life's turned upside down.

This weekend CP is taking me back to Walnut Creek to get more of that yummy wine from the winery. I love it. I want to bathe in it. Grapes are good for your skin you know.

Tomorrow, I'm suppose to meet with the Board of Trustees at the police department I interviewed with a while back. For the part time job, weekends, and some week nights. I really don't look forward to having no life again. Why does it have to cost so much to live? Have I asked this latley? Um, how do people afford kids? Seriously. I have 2 credit cards and a car payment, and I make what some people consider decent money, and I'm poor. What the fuck?

Signed Sealed Delivered.....

So, I never had a chance yet to mention my contract. Last Friday I met CP for lunch for a pre-weekend get together. He got me flowers, and took me to lunch and handed me a packet of stuff to look at. Coupons for things like massages, and dinner for our weekend get away. One of the things included was a contract of the heart. I read it and laughed to myself I thought, this is kinda hokey. It had things on there like "I'll never abandon you, never do drugs again, have my checks deposited to your account" stuff like, he was suppose to do before and neglected to do so. But at the end, I saw it had a notory seal on it. I said "did you have this notorized?" "Yes" he said. The girl at the bank thought it was sweet. I thought the girl at the bank doesn't know what you put me through either. Right?

I said its the only way ill trust him. I can't entertain living together again after all the BS he put me through. I'd love to cus I am seriously hard up for cash flow. Last night he said he is giving me his computer for Xmas. Now all I have to do is lower my car insurance and a medical bill and I might afford the internet. Yay for me. I know how much his computer means to him, so I guess it's cool. Only time will tell what will happen with us. I told him I feel stupid for even talking to him after how he treated me. Men.

P.S. I still love my new job so far. Yay me.

Diamonds are a girls best friend....

Today, at work, one of the secretaries VP's got her pearl earrings m'kay? I doubt I get anything so nice being only here for a week. But still...Imagine the possibilities. I got a truckton of chocolate from one of my VP's. I ate most of it. I'm a lard. Ugh.

Today I like work even more. I know, I'm queer. I started answering the phones, and I got to help people. I'm nice on the phone. Tomorrow we are going out for a department lunch. The VP's are paying. Sweet.

That's all for now. Me and CP aren't officially together. But I did tell him the whole truth about my goings on with the other man. Ahem. We weren't together, but I had to clear the air. I feel better about it all. We are dating I suppose. I'll write more about it when I have more time. Did I mention how I can't barely afford to live? Oh, cus I can't. I sure need a second job!

Miss Me?...

It's been forever since I could update. What, with starting a new job and all. You guys even missed my birthday yesterday...my BIRTHDAY. I see how it is. I'm now the big 31. It didn't seem like my birthday, I didn't tell anyone at work. Boo hoo. I met Bubba after work for dinner, and we had a beer. Her treat. Awesome. She got me a nice bathrobe, which I always wanted and never had. I'm going out of town this wknd with CP. He got us a cabin for my birthday. I know what you are thinking, but shut up. We're "friends" and more. Nothing official. I'm doing what the hell I wanna do. Ya hurr?

So far the new job seems to be too good to be true. Everyone is really nice, and laid back. My Vice Presidents are even cool. Can you believe that? I have three, they each have about 10 district managers, and I handle them all. It's a totally different world than the plant business, that is for sure. But I like a challenge. I'll be doing a lot of reports, mail, answering the phone. Trying to remember to answer each VP's line "so and so's" office and my line different is a joy. I think once I get the hang of it, I will really fit in and like it. I got a fancy schmancy Franklin Covey planner that I have to keep track of everything in, it's like...a requirement or something. That's hard to get use to, but it'll be a habit soon.

The building I work in is huge. Mind you, I literally worked in a barn for 7 years. Now I work in this huge place with three buildings, and about 3,000 employees. I don't get around much for fear of getting lost. Of course, I know where to smoke. We have our own cafeteria, and even a jewelry store inside. I can't wait to buy myself something. Um, at cost. Muh ah-ah-ah ahhhh.I'm going to be blinged out ya'll. That is, once I can afford to live. This pay cut is going to kill me. I'm barely able to pay my monthly bills and I need to figure something out. That is without getting the health insurance. I have 3 months to decide if I want it or not. Hopefully in that time I can get a second job.

Funny thing happened this week. One of my friends who shall remain nameless but she knows who she is, failed her drug test for her job. We met on a lunch break, and I gave her my pee. Is that true friendship, or what? Needless to say we passed. Yay for us!

Hopefully starting next week I can update again daily. I hate when people don't update. And here I am. Being a hippocrite. Piss off. I'm actually allowed to get online during my breaks and lunches. Yea, like I said...too good to be true.

The One Where I'm Gainfully Employed...

So boys and girls, I'm officially employed. I accepted a position as of 3 p.m. today. I'll be working for a jewelry supplier in the corporate office. Store operations secretary is my official position. I swear it was like getting into the CIA or something. They did a credit, driving, and criminal background check on me, plus a drug test. Of course, I passed it all. Apparently all the jewelry ships to the corporate office and is resent to the stores, so I have to be trust worthy. I start Monday. I can't believe I start already. It's been a month, but the good thing is I'll get a pay check from my severence, and my new job at the same time. Yay!

The day I interviewed there, they called to move forward with the testing, and then the police station called me for an interview. They need a part time person to work in the station at the desk. I need a part time job to make up for the money I'm not making at my new job. $2.14/hr less. The new pt job will be weekends, and a few evenings. They seemed really interested in me and even offered me a full time position. You know, when it rains it pours.

Today, I got a call for an interview at a furniture store, and a manufacturing company. I hadn't accepted my position yet, and so I set them up for next week. Now I'll have to cancel them all.

I got my birthday wish, a job. This weekend I'm going to a Christmas party for my previous employer. They invited me but not my old dept. Eat that bitches!

So, this weekend I am going to celebrate. If I don't have too much fun at the shin dig I'm going to kick it at 80's night. The theme this month is 80's dance hits. Hell yea. Unfortunatly I can't get my wig split until next Tuesday.

Thank you to everyone for their positive comments and thoughts, I am certain they helped me get a job, that I think I'll enjoy. If not, as my friend Katie says.....It's just a job.

When In Doubt, Sell Yourself...

Well, I just got through with my interview. It lasted for an hour and 45 minutes. Good? I think it went pretty well. I feel good about it. I met with two women in the department I would work in, both were really nice, and seemed easy-going like myself. They asked me really hard questions that I felt stupid answering. Like...what is your mission statement. Huh? My what? Like, in Jerry Maguire??? Needless to say I fumbled through that one, like a dumbass.

After that portion, the supervisor had me sit at her desk and do a bunch of things to an excel document, and email them to her. She came back and checked what I did and I did one thing wrong, and she showed me how to do it, I said I had never done that before, but it was a neat function. (duh) After that though, she had me meet with her boss. He wasn't expecting me, and told me he knew nothing about me, but the fact that I was sitting in his office meant that I at least knew excel, and they liked me.

He said he liked to get to know people by talking, so we talked a lot. He looked, and acted just like the guy from Scream, Matthew Liliard. Seriously. He was really easy to talk to, and I was at ease, and acted myself. He said I seemed like a really sweet girl, and wanted to know if I could hold my own when dealing with difficult people, so I relayed many difficult situations to him, and we laughed.

After I met with him, I met with the supervisor again, and she showed me some merge documents they do, and I said I was very familiar with merging, I did it with letters and labels all the time.

The job will be working for three vice presidents, there are 12 each three each have a secretary. I know I could do the job, so I hope I get it. It's a huge company, 2,000 people just in the building I would work in. I think my last job had um, like...45. It also only took me about 20 minutes to get there, so it's the closest job I've applied for. I have some other applications out still.

Next week is my birthday. Let's hope I get a JOB for my birthday, shall we? Cus then, I get get my damn hair done!

Don't Need Nothin But a Good Time...

I might finally have recovered from my weekend! Friday night was so freaking awesome! We got to meet Bret Michaels...no, we got to go on the TOUR mutha fucking BUS mkay? How awesome is that?

We stood in the freezing cold until they called the VIP's to the front. Thank god, because I had a few beers before hand and I had to piss like you wouldn't believe. There was a special seating section for us, but it was at the back of the dance floor, so we opted not to sit there in favor of having a much better view of his hotness. We had lots to drink. Shots. Of crown. Bleh. The radio DJ told us that Bret was sick, so we were sorta worried we wouldn't get to meet him, but when he told us we would get to go on the bus, that's all we talked about.

Oh we had a perfect view of him.




I kept trying to take that dudes khaki hat in front of me for Bethie's sister, she said she wanted it. And I was drunk, so shut up.

The same with my videos, it was hard to stand still to take pictures and videos. One, I had like 8 beers, and several shots. Two, you can't stand still when you're rocking out to songs like, talk dirty to me, and fallen angel. Ya hurr?



Here's a few more concert pics







And I saved the best for last! After the concert, they ushered us to the back door of the club, all official-like. Dude who worked for Bret said I'll knock on the door and you come out. There was 8 of us who got to go on the bus. We lined up, and they told us to go on the bus and "have a seat". You know, have a seat on the bus with Bret, like we're old friends!

Once on the bus, Bethie showed him an old magazine she brought with all these old pictures of him and Poison, he got a kick out of it, and told her to scan it and email it to him. Yea, like everyone emails Bret Michaels.

I'm linking these pics so I can keep their size, so be sure to clickity click for the good ones. We got our autographs. (Um, you might get to see some package in that one I like to think you can) And we got our pictures! This is Bethie and Bret. And if I ever took a good picture with a famous person, I might die the next day. But, this is me and Bret. Nowhere near as horrible as my picture with Edwin though.

And, in true stalker fashion, I took this one of the shit he had on the bus, you know to see what he likes to eat and drink. Saves you from digging through the trash and whatnot!

He was totally cool. Asked if we had a good time, said he wasn't feeling that great and he apologized. We of course, said we had a blast. You know, he's just a regular guy. It's so hard not to get starstruck though!

He gave everyone a guitar pic...but I didn't get one. But he was awesome about it, he said not to leave, he was going to get one for me. I didn't get sold out, I got my pic! Isn't he the sweetest ever? *swoon*

Kat wanted me to grab his crotch, which is always easy to say when you aren't there. That dear readers is the kinda girls I roll with. After we got off the bus, we met Bethie's sister and her friend on the sidewalk screaming. Everyone was jealous. Which was awesome. I've stood outside many an Edwin bus in my lifetime. I know how it is folks. Eventually, you get your lucky day.

I had to pee so bad on the way home from Bethies. So bad. So, when I got home I peed my pants. Because I knew I was home I guess. I woke up to my draw's in the sink, my pants in the tub. Half eaten vegetable lasagna in the kitchen, a 'lost' bank card, my autograph next to my bed, and me on the couch, watching the original Real World on DVD, in a t-shirt and no draws with an afghan and no pillow. Um, I passed the fuck out. At some point I got up and threw up vegetable lasagna because that was in the toilet. This is why I like my beer. I don't ever get sick from it. Oh well, I met Brett Michaels!

Here are a couple of videos that I took. Don't be disappointed. I didn't have enough memory to keep the long ones, and have some pictures. When I ever get a job, I am getting a spare memory card. It's still kinda cool to see!


This is one of him Jamming before singing "I won't forget you" telling us that we helped make it their first big hit.

And this one is "Every rose has its thorn" which, besides Talk dirty to me, has to be Poison's best song ever.

And, as I was sitting at kat's house, posting my awesome experience, with a smelly fish breath Conley on my lap...I got a call for an interview tomorrow morning! I have to nail this. It's the one at the Jewelry company. It pays decent. It's not THAT far from home, and they have a fitness center. AND the workday starts at 8:30. That's a far cry from 7:45 which I did for 7 years. Mkay? Good thoughts. Send me positive thoughts. I need all the help I can get. Only the second interview in a month.

How To Be Jealous Of Me...

How to be jealous of me. Read the next sentence. I'm going to meet Brett Michaels. Read the next sentence. You know, the lead singer of Poison!!

Bethie won the tickets from the radio station, and then she won the meet and greet too! She fucking wins everything! Why can't you win the damn lottery girl? Oh well, This is pretty close. Nothing like my meeting Edwin, but then, no one can compare. I know she will be a blubbering fool like I was "uhhh, I really love your music" the stupidest 6 words you can say to someone you idolize. Idiot. I can't wait for tonight. No worrying about a JOB for a few hours!

CP did fix my friggin tree. It's standing upright now. Put some more lights on the burned out area. Sheesh. I put the downstairs tree up last night, and the stand is broken on that one, and it leans to the side. I had to hammer the pole crooked to stand it up straight. WTF is up with my holiday? Isn't it bad enough I can't buy any gifts? Then I constructed a kitchen tree. It's a little 12" tree that I put in a mixing bowl, and attached a silver angel cookie cutter to the top, and some santa, gingerbread men, and tree cutters to the rest of it. White lights round out the cuteness of my tree. I'm so full of the holiday spirit, I make myself sick. Pictures will be coming.

CP went out last night without me. He did invite me but I declined. I thought it would be good for him to get out and meet other people. He says that he met some chick and got her digits. Of course that bothers me a little, but I really think that we should explore other options. I think he just misses the comfort of our relationship. He keeps trying to make up for what he did, but you really can't once the damage is done, ya know? Trying to be friends....we will see how that all pans out.

Have you found a damn job yet? No....no, I havn't. This week though, I did apply for some good ones, and I'm hoping to get some calls. Now that Bubba got a job (yea, that hooch got hired before me!) that's one less person hogging up all the interviews in town. I'm happy for her. But, of course, I wish it were me. I applied to a jewlery corporate office today, Bubba got a call for an interview for this position, so if I don't, with all my experience, something is just wrong! They have a fitness center on site. And an employee discount, AND it's making a smidge more than my minimum required salary. Send me some good vibes people, this could be it for me!

While watching the biggest loser, I decided I should devote 99% of my unemployed ass to working out, and try to get certified to be a personal trainer. Those fuckers make a buttload of dough doing private sessions. The funniest things occur to you when you are pretty much taking up space in your own life. I keep thinking, this time in my life is suppose to teach me something. What am I suppose to learn? Life sucks? I already know that! I hate change, so maybe I'm suppose to embrace it. Hello, um...God? It's not working. I don't like it anymore than I did before I was canned and lost a relationship. Stop fucking with me. I do ask him every night to give me some direction. Then, I have crazy fucked up dreams that make no sense.

Last night I dreamt about a huge swimming pool. People were in some sort of Nascar swimming competition. Yea, I said Nascar and swimming. Then the guy I hooked up with a while ago had an outgoing message on his answering machine about my ex boyfriend 'Z'. Apparently he fucked him over. Don't ask me where this shit comes from, cus I have no idea. If this is a message from God, I need an interpreter. Please.

I'm off to apply for more jobs. Yippee. In 13 days I will be 31. I really didn't picture myself here at 31 for real. I thought I would be totally set in my life. I guess I make some shitty choices. Time to start making better ones I suppose. Oh yea, did I mention that I get to meet Brett Michaels tonight? Just checkin!!!