I dunno if its PMS......(which is a real-live thing, right ladies?) or what, but I am in a rut or something. I really just feel blah. I want to do something, but I'm too tired. I want to move but I don't have the money to put a deposit on a place. I can't save money because of my bills, and I know I have that impending garnishment for my taxes, and that scares me too. Plus, my dentist bill is due. Plus I'm trying to pay off my credit cards.
I want to buy a house, because I watch too much "house hunters" on HGTV. (I blame my cheap cable for this, trying to save money and having no juicy reality TV is making me miserable) Then I realize, while my bankruptcy and foreclosure from my previous marriage may be off my credit report now...I don't have a penny to put down on a house. So why torture myself? I'm not qualified for any first time home buyers offers cus I already screwed up once.
I want to run away.
I keep having horrible dreams. Last night, I dreamt my manfriend cheated on me. I always wake up at 3 am with a bad dream. That was one I was glad to wake up from, and find out it wasn't real. I was so heartbroken, it put me in a shitty mood for the day.
The night before that, I woke myself up yelling in a dream. I have never in my 33 years done that before. That had something to do with a friend at my party this past weekend, going home with a random guy. Not my style, but whatchagondo?
Sometimes being a grown up isn't all that great. I want to go home and get into bed and forget about the world.
Yea, it's PMS.