Greetings from sunny Virginia Beach...

As we floated around the pool yesterday I asked my sister a question my Momma always asked while floating around on the raft..."I wonder what the poor people are doing?"

I've been having a great time, and it's sad that it's almost over. I'm not thinking about that now. I'm finally uploading some pics, and the boy is making breakfast. It smells yummy! We've done a lot already, and I'll have lots to talk about. Last night we went to see the new Batman, which was fantastic! We're going to go see a band on the beach tonight, and that will be fun! It's been so nice waking up every day with the boy and knowing I didn't have to say goodbye. That's the mushy part!

We went to a lecture at the A.R.E (association for research and enlightenment) about soul mates, twin souls, and soul groups. It was really interesting, and a topic I find interesting. It's not the "we're souuuuullll mates" mentality at all, and that is my belief. We are here for a greater purpose, and people we meet happen to help us on the path we've chosen for ourselves. More on this later. Until then, enjoy my awesome cloud picture!

I'm Off Enjoying My Life....

So, I'm off to the beach. I'm sure I'll post some pictures or something equally fun to rub it in that I'm enjoying myself and not working. I had a great meeting with my boss today about what a change I've made in my life since I started to work at the company. It's nice when people notice, because it sure as heck is a lot of work, to change your perception, and attitude for the better.

She also pointed out what I already knew, everything that has been happening since this transformation, has been good. My personal life, promotion, (huge) raise, car, manfriend. The list goes on. Life is really easy, it's all your perception, and how you choose to deal with what it hands you that makes all the difference. I'm a generally positive person. And, that can annoy a lot of people, but you know what? Those people are too busy being miserable.

I then had a meeting with one of my employees and she told me the same thing. That my positive attitude is the glue that holds the department together, and I never have an attitude about anything I am asked to do. I also mastered a huge file with the district manager reviews, and I got it all set up to merge while I am gone. I gave the girls projects to do while I'm out, and here I go, on vacation. No worries.

Me, not post?

I wasn't going to post today, because I actually am hella-busy at work. But, this working out during my lunch hour, is cutting into my internet time. I don't like that. I don't feel complete if I don't get my blogs read. Or my myspace updated. Seriously. I'm sick. I have all these reviews to do for district managers. And I have had to take care of a big wig this week. Plus, hello, I have to do my own reviews for my people. Which is not happening until I am back. From what? Vacation!

It's about 1pm. Forty eight hours from now, I should be rolling into my sisters apartment complex, if all goes well. I'm pretty excited. The boy is pretty excited. Together, we are excited. I may not return. I'm thinking they might have a closet big enough in Virginia Beach to lock him in, and then he's screwed. It was so nice to see him last night. I can't stand him sometimes, only because he's freaking cute and it pisses me off. He is so sweet to me, and he makes me so happy. I still thank the universe for him (among many other things) each night. I sent him an email link yesterday for a website to watch movies and TV shows. And he responded.."that is a good find..and so are you".

Seriously?

A boy has never frustrated me so much, in a good way. I want to eat his heart. But I mean that in a totally loving way, like, he'd be a part of me.

Ok, I realize that sounds completely insane.

Pardon Me...

Pardon me, while I am preparing for my vacation in, um two days. I keep rubbing it in at work. When I've emailed tasks to the girls I've said "While I'm gone (at the beach) next week...." It's loads of fun. I googled directions from the airport to my sisters, and then pointed out to them, theres me, theres the ocean, any questions? I love nothing more than rubbing things in. Why is that?

I still have no power. I mean, I do but not in my bedroom or bathroom. Freaking maintenance guy is a dick bag. He'll be back again today.

This week I've been working out twice a day. On my lunch, for 45 minutes on the treadmill while I watch The View. For two days I did 2.5 miles, and today, I squeezed in 3. After work, I do the usual, 30 min treadmill, 20 min eliptical 15 min bike. I don't remember a time when my body was more exhausted. Have I lost any of the 5lbs I've got to go? No. Do I feel thinner, well sure. I am thinking after vacay, I might just keep the twice a day workouts. Just for one or two days. I have been gaining and losing the same 6lbs for about 4 months now, and I'm pretty sick of it.

P.S. Did I mention, I'm going on vacation this Saturday?

Stimulating?

I'd heard the rumors. Free money from the government. I didn't believe them. Especially since I owe the government more than they already stole from me.

After giving up on any hopes of a stimulus check for myself, it happened. I got one in the mail. Of course, I didn't get the $600 bucks I was entitled to. No, I got a bunch of letters stating how they took the money I owed them out of it for this tax year. Fine. Better than having to pay the bastards, cus seriously? That wasn't happening. Don't get me started on how I worked my life away, 7 days a week, then 14 hours a day, while they taxed the shit out of me and I still owed them. Uh-uh. .I've got two words for "the man"..... Cock... Sucker. Oh no, better....soul..stealer! Stop me while I'm ahead.

The part of me that knows better, is grateful to have received this check. The secret says to not worry about money, and the money will come. I'm pretty good at that. I'm over worrying about it. If I start to worry, I'll work my life away again and that's not worth it! I added it to my savings for vacation/moving. I actually did a super happy dance when I got it. I'm no fool, $300 dolla a loooootta money to me!

Last weekend when we saw fireworks at my house, I told the boy "we sure have seen a lot of fireworks together" it was our third time. He replied "yea, we've seen some in the sky too". I thought it was pretty adorable and he made me all misty! I wanted to kiss off his lips or something but then what would I kiss? I sure love that boy.

Oh, yes, 3 more days until we're on a jet plane to the beach! Yipee! We rented our car this weekend, and we'll pick it up at the airport. I am way excited to be going to the beach. But, I'm more excited to spend time with my guy. And, I suspect he is just as excited. You know we don't like each other at all? Isn't that obvious? Yesterday was 10 months for us. Ten. Almost a year! I can hardly believe it!

This made me laugh until I cried. It's not mine, but whoever owns these cats has some sweet live entertainment! It's a great example of determination. He falls off, and keeps on trucking with his front feet. They love it! Clicky clicky!

Then, I saw this video on You Tube that made me jealous. I want my own furry workout buddy. My cats are lazy freeloaders. Besides killing bugs, they don't do nothin but look cute, expel furballs, and get their hair on everything. The more you watch, the more you see cats enjoying exercise. Seriously, if you have cats you might not want to watch these. It'll make you see your cats as the lazy peices they are. Lucky for them they are adorable.

P.S. When I got home yesterday I had no power on the one side of my apartment. Dude left a note "call me if it still happens". Of course it still happens you didn't do a freaking thing you lazy peice of crap! Nothing was different. He didn't replace the fuses, or anything. My guess is, he came over, my power was on, and he left. Fucking. Idiot. I intend to not pay my rent on the first if it's not fixed.

Sleeplessness...

I think I slept probably 3 hours last night. And this isn't one of those kick-ass times you only sleep 3 hours cus you were up all night "with the manfriend". No, this wasn't like that at all. I got home from the boys house about 10. When I then started to clean, and I didn't stop until 3am. At first it was just because the maintenance guy was coming today and I didn't want my bras on every door handle in my apartment, and my underwares laying around. It was about 100 degrees and I sweated my ta ta's off!

For some time now my power has been working when it feels like it in my 2 bedrooms, hall, and bathroom. Basically the left side of my apartment, upstairs only. So anyway dude's coming while I'm at work to look at it. I don't like the idea of someone in my apt when I'm not home. Dirty.

Meantime, I can't sleep in my bed with no power, because a) it's hot and I need a fan, and 2) I can't sleep without the noise of the fan and c) the dog gets hot too and pants, and rocks the bed. And it's too hot for my kitty cats to sleep with me, and when they don't I just don't feel right. I feel you judging me. I'll be snoozing away and the power goes out and wakes me right up. It's too quiet! I've been sleeping on the couch. Correction. I've been laying on the couch wishing I could sleep. My couch has 2 cushions and right where they meet is where your ass fits. Talking about this is making me tired, so stop it.

Good news!

I am a mere 5 lbs from my 20lb vacation weight loss goal. This leaves me with still more to lose afterwards, thirty to be exact. But the important part is, that I am going to attain my goal. I am doing two a days this week. Two a who?

I'm going to do a 45 min walk during my lunch break (because I don't want to get too sweaty) and then the usual 70-90 minutes ass kicking after work. I worked out on Friday during lunch, I took a late lunch 2-3 and watched Montel. No one else was in gym! I showered, and was back to work all in an hour The shitty part is it takes me about an hour to cool off after working out. I even took a COLD shower. But I sweat so much, I can't turn it off. I dried my hair, but it was wet again. Have I mentioned that it's pretty sweet to have a gym at work?

Friday I also met up with two guys from school and their wives, with Kat at the Aeros game. It was a killer time. We had some laughs. I learned a lot about people we went to school with. ...what ever happened to.... Sometimes it's better you don't know.

4 more days until...

Bathing Beauty...

I successfully found two bathing suits yesterday. My mother told me I should keep both of them. They are tankinis and pretty cute. I only have one thing to say about this experience. Girls who don't have boobs should stop wishing they did. It's not only hard to find regular tops that fit the rack, it's hard to find a freaking bathing suit. And then when you do, there isn't enough support to make them look decent. Seriously, the grass ain't greener. Get yourself a good push up bra and be happy with what your Momma gave you. I still find it hard to believe that in this day and age of ridiculously large breast implants, it isn't easier to find cute bras, tops, and bathing suits for the well endowed. Maybe I'm on to something. My million dollar idea.

I worked out like a maniac again yesterday. I think I'm going to workout at lunch today, since I am going to an Akron Aeros baseball game with some school friends that got a suite (high school....way back when..) and I don't want to miss a work out. I'm on a mission people. And missions make me sweat.

Had some laughs with my Momma last night. She told me that my brother told her he tunes her out when she tells him the same story. She was offended someone would tune her out. Then she went on to tell me all about this game she plays at the game room, and how you have to have 2 fancy fruits and a farmer in a row going sideways or up and down, or a fancy farmer with grapes (I really don't remember cus I tuned her out) and I said "I can't imagine why anyone tunes you out..." I mean, get to the point, right?

Um, let me break it down for you. Five more days of work. Seven more days. Until what? I'M AT THE BEACH! There is a band playing at the beach while we are there, that opened for Edwin McCain when I saw him last September. They are called Butter, and you should check out their myspace. They did covers of like Stone Temple Pilots, Three Doors Down, and they have their own stuff. There's a ton of other stuff going on all week. Different shows, and acts and music and fireworks. There's even a movie under the stars!

I havn't annoyed you for a while with stories of the boy. But I can't wait to see him every day for a week. It's like when you are in high school and you dream of one day living with a boy. But only, I know it can suck sometimes to live with someone cus I've lived with enough someone's to know that. But when that someone is my irresistable someone, I don't see the problem there. Yes..I'm enjoying the ride. I'm entitled to be anxious. I just know I'm going to cry my eyes out when vacation is over, it's gonna hurt to be apart. It'll be 10 months on Monday for us. Already?

P.S. I got paid today. And I got holiday pay. Might I add holiday pay, on top of my 40 hours? This happened before, so I know it's not a mistake. It's like overtime, for not even working the 4th of July. Hollaaaaaaaa!!!! This is awesome because I spent way too much money at Kohl's.

Are You Watching?...

Big Brother 10. My big fat addiction. Who is as excited as me that *Spoiler* Brian got his stank ass kicked to the curb? Who goes into Big Brother week 1 and tries to manipulate everyone, and brag about it. God, I hate people like that. When the girls decided to back door him. Jerry is old, but that doesn't change the fact that his constant military talk is getting on my last nerve. I mean, good for you, I understand the pride or whatever, and I'm grateful for people like him, cus I wouldn't wanna do it. But, every other word out of his mouth is about the marines and honor and pffft. You're on Big Brother. You besta forget about I love to yell and scream at the TV, and cheer. Big Brother...I love you!

Does anyone else think that Keesha looks like Faith Hill? Not a spitting image, but there is a definate resemblance there.

Baby Borrowers. Reason 234,876,098 not to have children. This is a brilliant show for all those stupid high school betches that think "I WANNA BAAAAYYYBEEEEE". Yea, I was there too sister, you grow out of it real fast once you realize what it's really all about. They might be cute and a novel idea, but they um, scream and cry. And you can't just get up and go when you want. Sex? Shopping? Not without that baby.

Flipping Out. I love this show. Jeff Lewis is such an entertaining person. I only bring this up because I'm sad Jenny is getting divorced. I know what it's like to be married to a guy that wont grow up and defend him and stand by him, only for him to leave your ass high and dry. She's better off. But it's sad. She's so cute.

I watch 8,000 more shows, but you have to have your limits. I could seriously blog for a lifetime just about TV. I'm sick, and I know this.

I tried on my old bathing suit last night. the butt is a bit baggy. I can't wear it anyhoo, cus the boob is ripped. The point here people is, while I havnt dropped any weight for a week, I'm still losing something! I still want to lose 10 lbs to meet the 20 by vacation goal I had. Sigh.

Last night I did 30 min on the treadmill, at a 5.0 cus I'm jogging on the balls of my feet and it doesn't hurt my knees! Then I did 20 on the eliptical, 20 on the bike and another 15 on the treadmill. Then I went to Mom's and painted the doors on her shed.

She didn't have the stuff I need to finish a task. I might have to hoof it on vacation cus this is not going so well with completing a project before going. When do we have to rent a car? Oh, this weekend. Good luck with that. So, I did what I could do with what I had. I still have a ton more to do. Maybe she'll stay home one day and get what I need, and be home so a sista can pee or get a drink when it's 90 degrees outside.

Have I mentioned how happy I am that our town festival is over? I despise closed roads. And people parking on both sides of the street, and walking down the middle, and generally invading my space. Being in BFE has both its ups and its downs. And having minimal traffic/people is definately an UP!

It's a bird...it's a plane...It's, a moth?...

Question. What has buzzing wings, and flies around fast from place to place? Not a good description? I'm enjoying the outdoors last night, when I see this thing darting around in my bee balm. At first I thought im thinking it was a hummingbird, because they are suppose to be attracted to it. Not to mention I have a feeder for those bastards who never come around! I rushed in to get my camera and took some shots of it. The more I saw of it, the more it didn't look like any kind of bird. It was more like a giant butterfly than a hummingbird, and I looked it up today and found out it's a hawk moth.

(click on pictures for larger view)

Here is a video I shot if you want to see why I thought it was a hummingbird. I'm not the best videographer. Has anyone else ever seen these? I mean, I live by the woods so I had no idea what it could've been I get all sorts of creepy crawlies around. And cute little tree frogs too!

Dreams are Strange Part 1,000...

I wish I would have better named my dream posts, so I could read them all easier. Last night, I dreamt that I went to the boy's engagement party. Yea, the boy was engaged, and it wasn't to me. I didn't go as a friend, I went as his date. To his engagement party. Ok, I think you get it.

Things were like they are now, we were in love, and happy, only, he was engaged, and his fiance wasn't even at the party. And no one liked her. And, it was totally normal that I was his date to the party. It was more like a shower, cus he was opening gifts, and kinda ignoring me, and I felt like a total tool. I thought I shouldn't be there, so I wound up trying to leave in tears. He never mentioned calling off the wedding, so I jetted. Only, the boy was my ride. He came out to get me, and then dumped my ass in the car. Then all of his friends turned on me. I couldn't stop crying. I could barely breathe, and I couldn't speak.

Then I had something in my throat. I dreamt this before too. It was like a gooey substance that I try to pull out but it just stretches and wont come out. It's attached to my esophagus or something. Then, two of my teeth broke apart and fell out. (I use to dream this all the time and it's quite common) And one of my friends I hadn't seen in forever stole a ton of shit from me.

I like to analyze dreams, so I picked the symbols out of this and came up with this.

To dream that you have a sore throat, suggests that you are having problems saying what you really think. You may feel threatened when you express yourself. Alternatively, your dream may be telling you that you need to swallow your pride

Well, there are things I'd like to say but don't feel it's the right time to do so....

To dream that you are engaged to be married, represents sexual or relationship needs. You may be trying to resolve your feelings of loneliness. You're reflecting on the closeness you have or had in a certain romantic relationship (past or present).

Since I wasn't the one engaged, perhaps this refers to the boy's former wife. Or his feelings I feel he may have? I do know that I was super lonley last night after having people around all weekend.

Someone having problems with teeth, such as teeth falling out or having cavities, can represent feeling, fearing, or imagining that all is not well with that person, or perhaps that the person is not expressing themselves as well as you think they should. It becomes much easier to interpret this kind of dream if you think of teeth as representing words.

Well, this goes along with the throat thing also.

I worked out for 90 minutes yesterday. Another one on the way today. 30 min each on the treadmill, bike, and eliptical. I am a freaking machine. 11 more days til vacation.

The Rain on My Parade...

Friday after work, I went to get some last minute things for the party at Wal Mart. I hate Wal Mart. Then I was trapped at home from 5-8 because of a parade. They closed the road to the grocery store. How dumb is that? Later I went to get some food from Giant Eagle and met Kat at the bar for drinks with an old high school friend, and Taco Bell coworker. Fun trip down memory lane. Made me realize, most people never amounted to much. Even more reason to be proud of who I am! Turned out at 1 am when I was home...I had left my food in the trunk for 4 hours. Waste of freaking time going to the store. My mind was obviously on drinking.

Then I got a late night visitor on Friday. Who told me he was coming, after I was asleep, and he snuck in, and set up music and everything and woke me up. Wink Wink. He's taken ladies. But I'd be jealous too! I was really happy he came over, any time I get an extra night w/the manfriend is fine by me. We got up early and went to a couple of stores, made some drinks, and met the neighbors outside for canoeing. There was definatly a storm moving in. But, ever the optimist, I said it would blow over and we'd be fine.

When we got to the canoe livery, they warned us that it was going to rain, and we would get wet. Actually, that sounded like a great time. I wrapped my camera and phone up in 10 plastic bags. We did a 6 mile canoe trip, and about 15 minutes into it, it started to rain. At first it was some sprinkles. Then, it was a downpour. It was hard to see to steer but we managed just fine. We laughed it off and actually enjoyed ourselves. I don't know many people who would enjoy doing something like that but I'm glad that one of them is my guy. It's about time I found someone like him! I might also add, that we are master canoers. We didn't hit anything, get stuck, or fall out of the canoe. Plus, we worked really well together. We use to be indians in another life.

We got home to get cleaned up after smelling like the canal, (which turns out is a great new pheremone...) and it rained again. I of course told everyone it was going to stop, and gave a time of 7:00, it will stop by 7 I said. What do you suppose happened? Fucking rain stopped. That's right! I'm taking my act on the road! We had a lot of fun, some people didn't bother showing up because of the rain, but we still had a killer time. Got our cheese on a stick. And had a lot to drink. I only made 1 pitcher of beeritas. Everyone else thought they were nasty. I thought they were deelish! We walked down to the festival, saw the fireworks, and finally around 10 settled in by the fire for some drinks and conversation.

Stephanie passed out sitting up but didnt' drop her drink. Awesome. Kat wore like 6 layers of clothes even though it was 85 degrees, so the bugs wouldn't get her. I think we finally called it a night around 4. After me and the manfriend went to bed, um, it was about 6 am. (But we don't like each other at all.....) I had an extra hard time after the manfriend left. I feel so sad when he goes, I hate it. It runs me thru an entire cycle of emotions!

All in all I had a fabulous weekend. I think I got a total of 8 hours of sleep, but I'll sleep when I'm dead, right? Or, in 12 days, on my vacation! yesssssssssssss

I learn a lot from Tee vee...

The finale of Sex and the City makes me cry every time I watch it. It was on TBS last night. I remember the first time I heard Carrie say this to that stupid Aleksandr after she gave up her life and moved to Paris to be with him, and he completely ignored her all the time.

He says..."I thought I was clear about who I was"

She says..."Maybe its time to be clear about who I am. I am someone who is looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't live without each other love. And I don't think that love is here"

Yes. That is what it's all about. (you can watch the 3 min clip here on you tube...made me cry AGAIN!)

I started being honest with myself and the universe about my wants and needs. And...I found it. Or, it found me. Or, we found each other. To find someone who is on the same path as you, is an amazing thing. I think you just have to start the work, and the rest will fall into place. To anyone who is lying to themselves about what they want, or selling themselves short. Think about that. Doesn't everyone want that kind of love? Don't doubt it. Why should you give up on what you really want, when it's out there for everyone? You just have to believe that it is.

God damn, I'm inspirational. I'll remember that when I'm drinking beeritas by the fire this weekend, and hiding the for rent sign at my apartment complex w/Tayray.

Oh, and you should try this!

Beeritas:
1 12 oz can of frozen limade
1.5 C tequila (gold)
12 oz mexican beer (or more depending on your taste, theres always room for more beer)
Lime

Mix ingredients in a pitcher, and pour over ice with a lime wedge.

You won't know what hitcha!

Dirty Sanchez...Cuz it's Sick..

A mere sixteen days until I am lounging at the beach. Drinking my weight in margaritas, sleeping in, and having as much sex as I want with the manfriend. I mean, perhaps I did die when my treadmill plowed me on the steps, and I'm in heaven. Only, I don't believe in heaven silly. I think I'm just happy. Imagine that.

The boy and I hung out in my parking lot last night when he came over. He downloaded some new music and we had some beers and enjoyed that it was neither 50 degrees, or 100 degrees. We may have engaged in some sort of shenanigans under the stars too. I said may have. Don't jump to conclusions. Pervs.

He told me that he is going to have a car looked at on Saturday that he is interested in buying. You know, good for him...but the shitty thing about that is, I've been planning a party for months. It's Canal Days. Where the whole town gets together and makes a sacrifice of babies to the canal. Kidding, it's a small town, but not small town/creepy. Although I wouldn't object to something like that. Even baby dolls would be awesome, we wouldn't actually have to toss real babies in. Imagine how pissed off people would be over that.

Anyway - we were suppose to go canoeing, and have an all day drinkfest which includes walking to the fair for fried cheese on a stick, having a fire, and making general asses of ourselves. I don't know anything better than that. You may not know this about me but my #1 pet peeve is when people have plans with me and break/change them. Only because I don't do that to other people. If something comes up I'm true to my plans "sorry, I can't, I have plans". I'm too nice. Havn't I said that before? That's life, shit happens. If I've learned one thing in all my therapy it's that what's important to me isn't important to others, and I can't fault them for that. Next.

I had another stellar workout last night. I did 2.5 miles/30 min on the treadmill, 3 miles (notice my increase by a MILE) 20 minutes on the eliptical, and 3.5/15 min on the bike. The bullshit thing is I have cellulite. Yea, it's on my ass and legs. It's not hugely visible, but if I push on my skin I can see it. Guess what I never had when I sat on my ass 14 hours a day, and weighed 50 lbs more? Cellulite. I also didn't have saggy boobs and wrinkles. Whever decided working out is good for you must be a billionaire who can correct all these problems with plastic surgery. I'm personally kinda ticked about it.

Tuesday Kat came over again and we did body sculpting. We kicked it's ass. I made her use 7lbs too. Afterwards, she wrote disgusting things on my chalkboard. Things my virgin eyes shouldn't see. Stuff like dirty sanchez. You know, it's kinda sick that she knew what that was, and I had to look it up on wikipedia.

What's Cuter Than Cute?...

Sometimes all you need to make you smile is to see a picture of a handsome boy, I mean cat, I know he's a cat. *nervous laugh*

I just felt like sharing my cute boy with the internets today. He looks arrogant but he's really sweet.

It's my Pickachu. He's 8, and half persian (by his mother Fizzgig, and partial namesake to my blog address) and half some stray cat who raped her. His cuteness is to make up for posting that gross toe picture yesterday.

Your cats can be friends with him on catster!

Kinda Extreme Sports...

I love to show you disgusting blister pictures. So, heres one more! I swear I use to have really cute toes with a french manicure. And now, I've had to cut half the big one off due to a previous injury, (not documented) and now this.

I forgot socks AGAIN yesterday for my workout. I almost went home, but then rethought it..only 3 weeks until I have to be in front of the boy in a bathing suit. Ack. So I stuck it out. This lovely blood blister, (my first bloody one!!!) is the result of 2.5 miles on the treadmill, 6 on the bike, and 2 on the eliptical. I'd like to say that the two on the eliptical nearly killed me, as I despise that machine. I'd be much happier fast walking my way to a better body on the treadmill, but as I've said before, this has stopped working. *sigh*

As if trying to kill myself with my workout wasn't enough, I decided to move my massive treadmill at home downstairs. See I asked the boy if he'd help me Sunday, but then we went shopping, and ate, and watched movies, and I was pretty much contentjust cuddling with him and looking at his cute self, so I forgot. You would too if you were mezmerized by your manfriend. Sue me. It's been slowly falling apart, and occupying too much space in my living room, so it's on it's way to the curb. I might mention first that the last time I moved my treadmill downstairs, I got it stuck in the ceiling on the stairwell. When I unjammed it, it pummeled to the bottom of the stairs and stuck in the wall.

This time I thought I was smarter and finangled it to lay down the stairs, so it wouldn't get stuck in the ceiling again. But, just as I got the majority of it on the stairs to "slide" right down, with me in front of it, I realized it may weigh more than I do, as it slammed into me, and knocked me off my feet. My ninja-like reflexes are what saved me, as I grabbed onto the bannister mid-fall, and stopped the thing with my body. That wasn't my intention, but that's what happened. I really could have been murdered by my treadmill. It could've knocked me all the way down the steps, and ran me over, smashing my fragile head! I could have been decapitated! I could have ruptured some organs! It's a good thing I'm a solid girl. Or, I could have broken in two!

And we all know, my greatest fear is being dead in my apartment for days, eaten by my cats. Sure, they love me, but they love food slightly more, proven by the way they withold affection when they are "almost" out of food in the bowl.

Someone was lookin out for me. I managed to only get a few bruises, and a lot of sore. Good thing I have that huge blood blister to distract me from the pain. I am woman hear me roar. Rawwr!

I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t..

How was your independence day? Do anything fun? I spend Thursday (my Friday because of being off work for the Holly-day) at Mom's house, doing her breezeway ceiling. I could post a picture of my remarkable job, except when I asked her to take one she said "everyone knows you don't paint unless it needs it". Being my mom she also had to follow me around the tiny room with a sweeper while im up and down the ladder risking life and limb for the sake of her visual appeasement. Aside from not having safety goggles and burning my eyes out while scraping the old paint off the ceiling, it wasn't too bad. Only took a couple hours, and I think it needs more paint, another time. Joy. When I took my clothes off that night, I had paint chips places that should never see paint chips. Gross!


Friday I made the trek to the big City to spend the holiday with my manfriend and his peeps. I had plugged a watermelon with coconut rum. If you ask me, nothing says lovin like coconut rum in the oven! I got a seedless watermelon and it didn't take the alchohol well at all. I blame the lack of seeds/holes throughout it. I had to stab it to get the alchohol to suck into the melon. Times were so much simpler before they started fucking with genetics.


I also made yummy taco dip. That boy got me a CASE of Starbucks Frappuccino's at Costco. That's love! Oh, yea, the party. He got me chicken (cus he's cute and knows I don't like the moo moo's). I had bought a whole unopened bottle of Malibu, and it broke all over the floor out of the freezer door. Luckily his friend went to get me another bottle. I was partaking in Malibu, and sugar free red bulls. I can't quite put into words how yummy it was.


We played kings, which they have way different rules for in the city than the country. One of which is pouring your drink into a center cup and if you pick the last king you drink it. Luckily, I wasn't the one who did that. Dis-gus-ting. We all climbed up a rickity old ladder to the roof of the boy's apartment building and enjoyed the fireworks. They were really nice! All in all, I drank for about 14 hours. Had a few shots, couple beers, an entire bottle of malibu rum. I'm a trooper. I had a little nap around 2 or so while people played beer pong. I woke up to a fight. Not a fist fight a couple fight.

Which reminds me when I first arrived at said party the girls were all "complaining about our men you wanna join?" I shrugged and one said "you don't have anything to complain about do you" I said not really, except that he's always late, but that's him, and so am I. You know, for the first time I really didn't have anything to complain about. And that's a nice thing! We (the girls) also played MASH. My future is this.... I am going to marry Edwin McCain, and have a stupid kid named Samantha. We're gonna reside in Charleston, SC. in a mansion and have a mustang. I'll be a veterenarian, and he'll give up music to become an EMT. I'd miss my cute boy. And his cute little ways. Grrrr.

Saturday me and the manfriend went to the drive-in. We saw Hancock and Get Smart. I love the drive in. You can drink, and smoke, and see two movies for the price of one. I also tend to see shooting stars (thus, making magical wishes....) and this weekend there were two fireworks shows going on during the movie. How fun?
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Two plus two is yellow...

I can pretty much decide how to get a math problem done, whenever I am able to use an excel formula, and a calculator. I cannot really divide or multiply fractions. Or, multipy double digits. Or, add really without the use of my fingers. I took basic, general, and business math. No pre intro to calculus. No algebra. No "I'm thinking of taking algegra in 6 years so teach me word problems". If that's even a class. See, I dunno if that even exists.

So, whenever I figure math out, I'm freaking amazed with myself. Today, I did a dance, and squealed because I did this without the use of excel, or a calculater. Ahem.

Employee A wants to take vacation time today. Supervisor has to maintain a spreadsheet of everyones vacation usage. Said spreadsheet is tracked in days. Such as "1" being an 8 hour shift. Employee A wants to take two hours of vacation time. What is the fraction of a day that should be entered into the spreadsheet?

Holey fuck it's math!

So I told Employee A I didn't know how to enter it, but I would figure it out. I said this out loud while using my fingers.....

• 1 day is 8 hours
• 2 hours goes into 8 hours 4 times (I came to this conclusion by eliminating fingers two at a time while holding up 8 fingers)
• (Holding up 4 fingers) omg, 2 hours is 1/4th of a full day 2, 4, 6, 8
• omg, 4 quarters in a dollar, so 1/4 of a day is a quarter, so thats .25

Great scott I've figured it out! You are taking .25 of a vacation day! *Angels sing*

I told you I'm freaking brilliant!

Trust Me..

You know the manfriend left his murse (man+purse) at my house this weekend. I guess it's more like a planner, but he takes it places so I call it a murse. He didn't have a car so he couldn't come get it. He said it had his money and his bills in it. Anyway, it was in my posession for 3 whole days and guess what I didn't do? Huh? Huh? I didn't open it! I didn't even have the tiniest desire to look inside of it. I didn't have to fight a single urge to do so. In the past I'd have been tearing thru it looking for clues as to how he was lying to me, or who he was cheating on me with. It never crossed my mind to snoop.

Say wha? Yea, for realz! I actually trust him. I have no reason not to, so why go looking for reasons to be suspicious? I didn't even think of it as a big deal until the girls at work were astonished I didn't look. I've been there so I can see their side too. But, maybe that's even more of a reason we're destined to be together. I totally believe that.

He came to my work yesterday to pick it up. So, he met the girls...and saw my desk and stuff. When I came back in from walking him out, I was bombarded with the"he's sooooo cute", "you guys are adorable together", "you make a cute couple" "you look alike".....(I said thanks cus I find the man to be quite the hottie), and "he's so handsome", "pictures don't do him justice" then.. (you knew it was coming)...how "you'd make beautiful babies"...gag, puke barf. To which I said I can't say you're wrong, but we'd have even cuter pets.

Reason 456,789 not to have kids, they make people say stupid things about you as a couple.

One girl couldn't believe I met a "normal" guy on the internets. I don't think its where you meet them honestly. It's hard to meet a "normal" guy anywhere, so what's the difference? It was the universe, and us being on the same path at the same time. It had nothing to do with where or how it happened.

Nothing good ever came of my snooping. I'd find you know, kiddie porn on the computer, and IM's to skanks that live down the road. Or, receipts or movie stubs for things I've never seen. Anyone have a good snooping story?

I'm gonna try to finish up Momma's this weekend. I need some cashflow for my vacay. Plus I lost 5lbs in my quest for losing 15 for vacation. 10 more to go. Eat that, haters! I'm sure that painting will be an added workout too. Wax on....wax off....breathe in...breathe out..

I want to lose a total of 35 more lbs. When I feel like that's a lot, I think of this guy, who was on Primetime last night. And weighed over 1200 lbs and has lost 500. Huh?
On that same Primetime, I watched the totally sad story of people who adopt monkeys as children. And have their teeth removed. And fingers cut off. Leave the freaking monkeys alone. It made me cry to see them torn away from their mothers. God, people are so fucking stupid!