Not So New Girl Pushes My Buttons...

I had a one on one with my boss yesterday. She said what I've said before. One day I'll thank new girl for testing my limits, it's helping me with my supervisory skillz for sure. New girl has been listening to headphones for a while. I never said anything, because we havn't been busy. I also can't hear her phone ringing. It was brought to my attention that she hadn't been answering her phone, and not only was she listening to headphones, she was watching TV on the internet at work and not working. What's worse, is the person who caught her watching TV was my boss.



So, I have a chat with not so new girl, and tell her that during this economic time, we want to be as irreplaceable as we can be. Step up and ask for more work if we're not busy, don't appear to not be working, we are lucky to have jobs, let's be helpful to other departments that need it. In order to do this we shouldn't listen to headphones. You know big pep talk. Not even 2 hours later...Not so new girl is at her desk on her head phones. Other coworker is ticked, cus if she can do it why can't I. You know how that goes.



So, I have yet another chat with not so new girl. She seems outraged. Whaaaaat? No headphones? As if it's the first time I said it. Logic would tell you, if 90% of your job is answering your VP's phone calls, you shouldn't wear headphones. Especially if you know you aren't doing 90% of your job.



Cut to a week later. This week to be exact. My boss stops thru the department and is chatting with us. She goes to leave, and not so new girl says to her in front of the department "we sure miss listening to headphones" boss said "what?" and I said "she's talking about headphones" and my boss walked away. She would later tell me in our one on one, that not so new girl is lucky she walked away. Not so new girl is not so smart. If your boss said you're doing something wrong and asked you not to do it...would you go to their boss and complain that you can't do something wrong? Seriously? I don't know if it's age? (she's like 27 I think) Or, just immaturity. I think a lot of things are common sense, but I also have to remember she isnt' me. (you know, like I shouldn't have to tell you your job can't be planning your wedding at work, do that on your lunch hour)



Especially after we just had a meeting saying we aren't sure about the immediate future of our jobs. The company will be OK, but we just don't know whats gonna happen right now, you know, like all companies. If I heard that I wouldn't be sitting up at my desk watching TV all day, not doing what little work I am expected to do. They have a lot of freedom, I don't yell at them for being late, I let them make up time if they need to for appointments, and I'm super cool. What else do they want? Gawd.








For Halloweener, I decided I'm gonna be a cat lady. Not as in "catwoman" meeeee-oooowww rawrrrr. As in a lady with many cats. You know, just like me in real life! I got the idea from Suzi. Only, I'm not going for quite the same look. I also have this doll, who I am modeling after, that my sister's ex boyfriend got for me. I still have to make an "I heart cats" tshirt, but I have some "TY" stuffed cats that I use to collect. I took their clothes off and sewed them to my bathrobe. I also have a Fur Real cat that I'm gonna carry around.

What are you gonna dress up as?

Edit: my costume landed me in the semi finals at work. The prize is a gift certificate to the employee store!!

Numbers aren't lucky to me.....

Who doesn't like a nice cat picture? That's Fizzgig, using Fozzie as a leg pillow. I call it..."Mine". Tis the season for cats to pile up together, and look pretty cute!



Now that I got your attention with my cute cats.. at work I had to handle this deposition yesterday. It was called "The Porn Incident". I'm not kidding. It had nothing to do with porn, as that is not my line of work. It was the customer's name. Why wouldn't you change your name? It stated in said deposition about 15 times "The Porn Incident" why not call it something else? Is it just me being a perv or what?

I have only worked out once each day this week, and still....exhausted. I could sleep for a year. And every night I'm up at 3 am.

Lastley. I was tagged by Suzi. I think everyone should do it too, but I'm too lazy to tag folks! Get on it!

7 Random Things About Me meme

1. I married my high school not-so-sweetheart when I was 20 and he was 19. He left me two weeks after our 2yr anniversary. He'd one day regret that decision, and I one day would thank him. Funny thing...life.

2. I have a severe disgust for gum. I don't like the look, the smell. I won't touch a wrapper, or even a package of it. I dont want to see you chew it. Hear you, smell you. It seriously freaks me out, and I have no idea why. It's offensive to me. I remember as a child a peice was stuck to a fork when my brother and sister were doing dishes. They pulled it off, and I was terrified to use the silverware with the rose at the handles. How would I know which one the gum was on? Eeeek! It's a borderline phobia, because it makes my heart race if I'm faced with it.

3.This might have something to do with #2 I prefer to use plastic forks. I'll use silverware if I'm out, or somewhere I can't have a plastic fork, but I don't like the way it feels on my lips. Thinking about it, makes me cringe.

4. I havn't been to the dentist in 14 years. This is changing this year because I have a toothache. I had my wisdom teeth pulled while I was wide awake, and only numbed, and could explain every sound, and taste, and feeling. The worst? The crunching and cracking of my pulled tooth coming out. Or, the gushing blood down my throat. I was seriously traumatized.

5. I have a very non-traditional view of religion and "the afterlife". I think our souls keep coming back to earth until we learn lessons we set for ourselves on another plane of existence. That's why "life's not fair" and "bad things happen to good people". I don't think there is a place called heaven or hell where we float off to when our bodies die. I don't believe in creation. Or a billion other things. I think that the power and key to everything is within all of us, and it's our mission to find it. Is it easy? Hell no. What if I'm wrong? Well, then Jesus would just forgive me cus that's the kinda guy (they say) he is.

6. I was questioned in an aggrivated arson case when I was 16. They came to my school to talk to me. I cried. My ex husband (bf at the time) and his friend did it. I drove the car. Of course I ratted them out. I wasn't going anywhere in handcuffs, I was a good girl! I also told on him for smoking pot before school, and they didn't do anything about it. Nice. Now that I think of it I guess we could've killed someone but they made it seem like "no big deal" they were just trowing a bottle of gas with a burning rag at a girls house. So what?

7. My most embaressing moment was when I lived alone, and the cable guy came to see why my TV kept getting some douchebag's CB radio coming thru it. I told him it always happened if I was watching a "tape" (yea, vhs, how old school is that?) he asked if I had a tape to put in, and tape labeled "A Christmas Story" was on top of the VCR and he put it in, pressed play, and it was a Porno. Uh...Smack dab in the middle of all the action. I think the cable guy thought I was tryin to make my own porno. I. could. have. died.

Love and Marriage...

You've been to Post Secret before, right? You know, where you anonymousely send in your secrets so you can feel better about yourself, and your trampy dirty secrets? Or, the fact that you wipe your boogers on your husbands pillow or something. This one pictured here, from this Sunday struck me particularly hard. I always read comments from people who wonder if the secrets are meant for them. I don't think this is meant for me, I don't have a work spouse, but I know someone who does.

Do you have an opinion on having a person you work with that you consider to be so close, they are a "work spouse"? Do you find this can be dangerous, and asking for trouble? From a girls perspective, I think it's crap. I know how we operate. We over analyze things. He said this or that, I think he likes me..... I know all about how girls can strategically make the wife mad at the husband, by over stepping their boundries and pissing the wife off.....only to swoop in and act so much better than the wife. "I'd never do/say that to you, your wife must be insecure". Thus putting a wedge between the real husband and wife.

It's one thing if the work spouse respects that you are in fact married in "real life" (or in a super relationship..) and doesn't cross certain boundries. You know, like maybe giving them a pet name? For some reason this seems really shitty to me.

Sure, my ex husband cheated on me with people from work. Perhaps it's the reason this is bothering me. Perhaps it's something else. Either way, I'm a girl, and I have been my whole life. I know what canniving, bitches they can be. I use to be queen of the unstable, insecure, crazy club. I can't explain how hard it is for me to keep this work spouse thing under wraps, and not let it consume my every thought. You may think you have some baggage packed away until something forces it out of the closet. Makes you deal with it all over again. The main thing to remember is that I packed those bags, and I'm the only one who can unpack them.

How do you feel about work spouses?

P.S. One thing I read about soul groups, and twin souls is that they bring out all your "crap" and make you deal with it.....isn't that romantic? People have a very blurred vision of what "soul mates" really are. Be careful what you wish for.

The Egg's Have it...

It snowed on my way to work. Sleeted. Snowed. The white stuff. Brrr. I was forced to turn on my heat last night at 11pm. I was holding out til November. I had on the space heater and it was freezing.

So I took my egg boiling question very seriously. I boiled eggs, all of the suggested ways. And you know what the result was? Who had the best egg idea?

The truth is, that in my two dozen egg experiment, all the eggs turned out perfectly. They all work. I'm not saying that to float everyone's boat. I think the trick here is....paying attention. No matter what I always walk away and leave the eggs. Ill leave them boil too long, or forget how long they are boiling, not put them in cold water or leave them too long in the hot.

I'm too impatient for egg boiling. Because this whole experiment was a pain. While they all worked, I liked the method of putting them on the stove and bringing to a boil. The eggs were fresh though (damsel) suprisingly, because I'm usually the one eating 3 month old eggs. Did you know you could do that and not die? Totally!

I may have reached a new level of exhaustion. I only worked out once yesterday too. I've decided that since I start boot camp on Friday, I'm taking it easy. It's also the week before my monthly gift arrives, so when I weigh in, it'll give me an advantage for losing weight. Muh ah ah
ah!

I had dinner at my Momma's yesterday. And we went to the game room. She's a bad influence.

Some Rain Must Fall....

I had a pretty fab Friday. Saw V is fantasssstic! Went to the haunted school house too with Heather. We got tix for the later Saw, because it sold out at 7:25. Balls! We got back and people were saying the theater had no seating, and were standing in the back. Whatever, we walked past them and sat in the front row. Amateurs. Our necks hurt but so what? We were going to Fork Kat for bailing cus she was sick, but she lives in a condo and we were thinking we might be arrested with the neighbors on watch and all. She lucked out. (Click here for our last forking adventure, which was way mature fun!)

I also went to Kent on Saturday for the super duper Halloween festivities. I'll post my own pics another time. There were a bagillion and six cops there. In their riot gear. Waiting for trouble. What sucks about it is, theres plenty of bars, but there are so many people, you have to wait in line to get in, because they are to capacity. You can't even Pee! So, unless you get there early you can't stay long. What. Ever.

I will include this photo of a celebrity sighting!














Duh, it's Jay and Silent Bob!





The manfriend and me had our first falling out. I think we've disagreed a couple times, but this time we actually said we were mad at each other. It pretty much sucked, and I was sick over the whole ordeal, and I had to fight back the tears. All in all I'm pretty proud of myself and how I handled things. I use to be a crazed lunatic, and if I can change that, anyone can change anything they want. (change your thoughts, change your life, I live by this!!!)

I have never put my skillz to the test before. But, I would have wound up hurting our relationship because of my own issues had I never worked on them. I know it sounds cryptic, but I don't want my personal biz on the internets. Things are back to fantastic. It lasted maybe an hour. Cus let's face it, we are madly in love.

And after we kissed and made up...wink..we did talk again about our situation (distance) and he brought up how our relationship isn't "normal" and its hard to move forward with it. I asked him what defines "normal"? Our relationship is simply different than what we are use to, and different isn't bad. It's different because we don't see each other as much, it's different because we're crazy in love, it's different because we enjoy hanging out, it's different because we don't bitch and fight, and act posessive, it's different because instead of fighting, we can talk things thru rationally, it's different because we are our own people, and mesh well together. It's different for a lot of reasons. We're happy with each other, really...what else matters? It doesn't come along that often, as I've heard.

The truth is, it's not moving forward because he has things he wants to work on, which I can appreciate, and respect. But I don't want the reason being picked for our not "moving forward" to be the mileage between us. It doesn't seem fair. I know it is all happening for a reason. Whatever it is will be clear in time. The difference with me and that boy is that I can see that, and appreciate it, and be confident in it to where I don't ever question why I am with him. I am, because I'm suppose to be. We are all....where we should be, so why bother questioning it?

That's deep shit! I should totally write a book.

Seeee Saw....

So today, we have a meeting in the afternoon. It's with another department. And the Senior VP of our department. Their shutting the phones down. They want us to all attend. I have been sick for days over it, having to reassure the girls everythings fiiiiiiiiine all the while on the inside I want to puke. I'm sure that our departments are merging, and I should be happy to have a job. But I don't love change. And, I'm terrified what will happen with my salary. Now that I signed up for stock options, and you know that fancy thing called health benefits. I don't think that you can take money from someone after giving it. So, maybe I'll just not get raises for years and years?

Because, in another department, I can't see my being the supervisor. I know nothing about that department. And, my boss is the manager of the department. I think that since I was already laid off once, it shouln't be karmically allowed to happen to me again. Ommmm, I will it to be so. But, it IS friday...layoffs historically happen on Fridays. I woke up at 7:56 today. I start work at 8. I got to work by 8:25 which is an amazing feat! Who's in my department talking to the girls? My boss. Of all the days. GAWD!

I know this is going on everywhere, but think of me........send me positive thoughts.

In happy news. I had a fantastical time with the manfriend the last 2 days. I think he might go to sleep and wake up cuter, and furthermore, he does it on purpose. Fo Realz. By the time he got home from work, it was too late and we didn't make the hockey game. I wasn't crushed. It was free. We tried to watch Airplane and Coming to America while having drinks (I had yummy woodchuck green apple cider yesssssss) but we were too goofey and gave up on it. One day I'm stealing him. I dunno how much longer I can take it.

I am happiest when I'm with him...and it kinda makes me mad because I can't help it. I don't remember ever being so in love. I know I have thought I was, but not this feeling inside that I get with him. That's new. Going to sleep every night wishing it was next to him. I really enjoyed my space and my "me time" and having the bed to myself (and 4 cats and a dog). Now, I don't love it so much. It feels empty. *sad face*

He did a lot of work on his car yesterday. I think he replaced the cooling system. The thermostat, and some long pipe. I held the light for him, held hoses out of the way, and retrieved nuts and screws that fell, and found things for him that he threw in frustration, "oh, you threw that over there". I dunno why boys like to do that sort of thing, it seems quite frustrating. But it's also a part of what makes them irresistable! I don't know how you can take apart a machine and put it back together again and it works. It is quite foreign to me.

I can't even fix my dang red swingline stapeler that lost a spring. It still holds a place of honor on my desk though.

I'm going to see Saw tonight! (I hate saying that...See, Saw). See Saw V. Yesssssssssss. I'm suppose to go to to nightmare in the wilderness too. My friends are sick though so we shall see. Happy Weekend!!

Eff Yourself...

I'm holding my friend Katie personally responsible for these two being let into our old alma mater. I thought you were a responsible democrat? I didn't even know until Bethie told me. What the hell? What do they want at my school? I'm just a small town girl. Go to Cleveland and stir up those people. I am aphalled that my town is going to rally for McCain. *shudder*

I'm not blogging live today. So I can't tell you how fabulous my night with the manfriend was. Or how right now I'm probably watching him do something sex-muffinish like work on his car. I can tell you that all this week I have been working out twice a day for the second week. An hour and a half a day. And, I lost 5 lbs. Five is fabulous for me because I eat a lot of cheese and potatos.

Latley when I'm working out AFTER work, for the SECOND time, and my LEGS are killing me and my feet have blisters on my blisters...I think to myself, is it worth eating that crap? Then I say to myself....yes. Unfortunatley it is. I'm thinking soon, I'll be fed up with working out so hard. You can't do this shit forever. It consumes your damned life.

I watched this episode of Oprah the other day. I remember hearing about Michael Crowe when it happened. She asked the question, would you be able to be coerced into admitting you committed a crime you didn't commit? I would like to think I wouldn't but you can't know that. I can say that I have been so mentally exhausted from asshole men accusing me of things I didn't do, that I have admitted to things I never did to shut them up. And, they don't have the ability to put me in jail.

I had been accused of cheating in several arguments, over several months, over...and over.....and over....and over....that eventually, I cheated. Thinking of those arguements makes my body and mind feel heavy and tired. I would never in a billion years get back into a relationship where I am manipulated that way, while they are the ones cheating on you. Thank god for self awareness!

Do you think you would admit to a murder you didn't commit? Michael Crowe was told he did it for hours and days. And he was a teenager. He started to doubt himself, he thought "maybe I'm crazy".

And most importantly, do you have a no fail way to boil eggs? I seem to over and under cook them repeatedly. I have been having them before and after workouts, which really helps my hunger, and energy, but their not so delicious when not cooked properly.

Is It Over Yet?...

Tonight I'm going to see the Lake Erie Monsters. The name of the hockey team is monsters, and, the mascot is a bird? I think it might be a seagull even? I have no idea, it's my first hockey game. The tickets were free from work so whatyagondo? The manfriend has to work so we'll see if we make it on time. I'm gonna stay in the big city with him too! I'm excited about that, I have 4 days vacation left, and I'm using one for tomorrow! The rest are for my Bday and xmas!

Friday night, I had a text waiting in the car after Cedar Point. It was from that someone who was nothing more than a year long hook up...and it ended over a year ago. The one I said doesn't take the hint when I say to him that I am in love, have a boyfriend, or anything else that involves my not pining over him. I didn't answer the text at all. I wish he'd just go away. It's annoying.

Guess who else contacted me? CP. I stopped wearing the ring well before I kicked him out. He left me a long voicemail about my favorite show Lost, which apparently he now loves too. I have no idea what that was all about. At least I know the number that shows up from time to time is his I suppose. Of course, I'm not calling him back.

And when I think that I was going to marry him, I think of that oldie but goodie Garth Brooks song...."sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers"... I'm especially thankful when I look at my manfriend and it drives me crazy how cute he is, and how I can't keep my hands off of him, or when he says the sweetest thing to me that I truely believe, because it isn't a ploy for forgiveness for something. Or, when we break the bed wink wink. Or, when I'm cold he literally gives me the shirt off his back. I mean, he's uber sweet, and super cute. One day I'm gonna be with him always. I'm impatient, and I hate waiting. Tick...Tock..

You have to just believe that everything is for a reason. And, if you are in the midst of a break up, remember that they always come back. They do. I havn't ever dated a guy that fell off the face of the earth forever. And just because they come back doesn't mean you were meant to be with them. It could be to remind you that for a moment in life you had been temporarily stupid. Or, that you needed that relationship to push you into becoming who you are at this point in your life.

Speaking of coming back, it rocks when you can do something like this...

My dad's funeral, my ex husband (I think we'd been divorced like a year or more) took it upon himself to inform me, that in the obituary, they didn't get my name right. "No, that's MY name alright". Even though I was sad that my Dad had died, I was beaming with the way it felt to say that. I took back my maiden name, because I didn't want any part of him in my life. It was the best feeling, besides realizing that he was merely a stepping stone in the great path that is my life. There was a time I thought he was every mile on that path.

And...Here's my kids enjoying another episode of Planet Earth. Fizzgig is on the left, she's the Mom of the other two, Pickachu, and Fozzie. My precious'essssssss.

Enlisting...

I'm taking the plunge. I'm joining boot camp. I'm certainly not joining the army, navy, air force or marines, (I'm too chicken shit), I'm joining a workout bootcamp. Go, Me! I found a few martial arts studios to test out too, but first I'm doing the boot camp. It's regularly $85 a month, but if I go 10/31 with a buddy and sign up, I can go for $57. (Another mgr in my deptartment from work is going to join with me) So I'm doing it for a month. I think it'll be the kick in the ass I need to get over my plateau. I'll have to follow a diet too. I'll just drink rum instead of beer. You also pay money if you gain weight. I'm totally gonna be the biggest loser, if you are, you get a month free. I'm awesome when I'm focused. How many times did I win biggest loser at my last job? A lot.

I went to gamble with my Momma this past weekend. Since it's not legal I won't say much about it other than the fact that she paid for me to play and I won money (which I had to split with her cus she paid)! I got a new winter coat, which I havn't had in years. Yay!

I was forced to put on my big girl pants on Monday. New girl told me her VP asked her to do a report she told her she couldn't do. (long story short, we went from 6 secretaries to 2, so a LOT of reporting has been cut out, specific to VP's, and only reporting they all receive can be produced.) She told her she'd have to ask me, her supervisor if she could go ahead and do it. She told her "I don't know why you have to ask her if you can do it, it's something I need, just don't tell her".

Excuse me? First of all, she couldn't produce this report, because you need a report writing program that I have on my computer to take it from a text file and import it into excel. So, she couldn't have done it. Second, you're asking her to undermine her supervisor? (how important does that make me sound?) I ran the situation by my boss who gave me the go ahead to tell this lady what time it was. I told her that new girl was acting under my direction, and she was shitty to me and turned her back on me. Eventually she half assed apologized to me, and at the end of the day she was bubbly like it never happened. I really don't care, the rules are the rules. She can suck it! New girl did the right thing for once, and I had to defend her.

So, on Dr. 90210 last night I saw how a vagina is turned into a penis. It's not pretty. It is wacked that you can turn our junk into their junk. The Dr. said erection, and orgasm will feel normal. Eeeeeuuuuw. I didn't see the actual junk, but they showed drawings. I didn't like it. Because, I'm not naming names, but I'm pretty sure I've seen this in real life. Some people I know doubted me, but I know that someone I knew use to be a girl. I always had a gut feeling. It doesn't make you gay if you didn't know!

P.S. I have in the last 5 days bought 2 packages of stackers. Admitting it means its not a problem right?