Happy Post...

Someone lost another six pounds (12lb 2 week total) this past week, along with 4% body fat. While I'm super excited and proud, it is a LOT of work! I am working out 8 times in 5 days, and pretty much my life is working out right now. It's working out, thinking about working out, thinking about eating every few hours and planning my day around it, and when I'm weighing in so I can get my workouts in, lots and lots of sleep, and washing of sweaty ass clothes.



It really takes a lot of dedication and time, and effort. I don't have much time for socializing, although I did manage to go to dinner and a movie the past two weekends, and I made good choices, and still lost weight. And I probably made the waitresses think I was a fish, as I drink on average 5 glasses of water with dinner. It helps with the cravings..and the urge to reach out and steal someone elses bread, and run off with it while screaming "my preciousssssss."



Overheard at bootcamp this past week "ok jacks, 30 sets (of 10) 29....28....27....26.....26.....27....30....29"

This went on and on and on until oh I don't know we did a gillion sets instead of 30.



And on Friday, I had A GLASS of wine and enjoyed it. Not that I don't enjoy an entire bottle of wine, but I guess when you think about adding another day worth of workouts into the mix to burn it off, it puts it all into perspective.



What else did I do this weekend? Well I got my bonus at work so I had work done to the car and it drives swimmingly! Then I had work on the dog done. We sat at a shot clinic (to benefit the animal rescue so its worth it) for 2.5 hours. Then he had a vet appointment, his very first one. Where I learned what was wrong with his poopie little eye. He suffered a puncture wound as a puppy and it was never treated, and scarred over, and that is why its so much smaller than his other eye. I think every day I hate puppy mills a little bit more, if that is possible. I'm so glad he has me for a Momma now, and knows love, snuggly beds, scratches on the head, treats and "play".



At the dog park, a big dog peed on little Magoo's head. He didn't even miss a beat and kept on trucking.

I mean, look at his post-doggie park, going bye bye in the car happy face!

Happiness Is...

Happiness is reliving your childhood! Remember the game Mash, and how awesome it was at predicting your future? That is, if you were ever a teenage girl. (this excludes my mom, who as a teenager probably didn't have pencils to play games. She had to play with cans and rocks)

I did MASH online, and here's a glimpse into my future:


Your husband's name is Edwin (McCain) and you have 0 children. (Yessssssss!) You're a Vet who drives to work every day in a red mazda.

It's truly a wonderful life when you consider the countless romantic nights you have spent with Edwin in your house in Charleston, SC.

I mean, if I can't marry my manfriend, I may as well marry Edwin. Edwin is married, but his wife will totally understand. And maybe I should tell my manfriend in an effort to make him jealous? Ohhh, I'm Kidding. He's not the jealous type. At least not crazy jealous. You know, it's nice to hear someone say "you're mine" when they don't mean you are their propert. It's super cute!

You can play mash for yourself at this link. Ah, memories.

Is it mean to be annoyed that all I hear about at work is someone's wedding? I must have told said person, that she is going to have major post wedding let-down 15 times, because its over in a flash, and then your like....uhhhh so I'm married? Now what do I spend 99% of my life doing...since my wedding is no longer being planned?

Next time it happens for me (which it will, because thats what I want and the law of the universe says I can have what I want) I'm getting married at the beach. With like a couple people, if anyone. Because the next time, its going to be cus I'm madly in love, and can't imagine my life without him. Not because I want the "american dream" with the white dress and the family and all the bells and whistles. I want what all of that is suppose to stand for, real love.

Speaking of real love. I'm a fan of cuddling. I mean, quite literally, on facebook, I'm a fan. Last week they posted this article which is so cheesily cute I can't stand it. I read it to my manfriend, while using the "how to cuddle" instructions to put the moves on him. It was one of those moments I'll always remember. Laughing. Being silly. Cuddling. And telling my manfriend what a nice, soft, squishy pillow he makes. (it was #8 on the cuddling list)

Lastley I'm sick. I should have known yesterday when the inferno which is me was actually cold, to the point I had to wear a sweater. I feel like I have an elephant on my chest. And my stomach is in knots. I don't think its the swine flu, but I definately need some robitussin to hack up some yummy phlem.

I'm still working out. Because I have to.

Did you watch Grey's Anatomy? And cry your eyes out? Great balls of fire, that show makes me have sappy feelings!

Mish Mash...

Remember when pagers were cool? My friends and I would page each other all sorts of numbered messages. Then it would take forever to "decode" them. It's like the early American "Pilgrem" version of texting. Did anyone else do that? We were so innovative.

843-2442536-47-46-843-227538 = The Chicken is in the Basket. (which I'm pretty sure was one of those stupid phrases we had to write out in short hand in school, along with "meet me in Reno". For some reason, the people in our business packets always went to Reno)

Ok, so I just posted about pagers, and taking an actual shorthand class in school. Next I may talk about how I had to walk to school in the snow. (Which, I actually did do...)

That reminds me. Manfriend told me in the city they didn't have buses. Or, rode the Metro! What? We had yellow buses that took us to school. City life seems so cruel.

I got a call yesterday, for CP. Not from him. For him. Why on earth someone is calling my PRIVATE cell phone number looking for that dickwad is beyond me. We've been broken up over 2 years. Hello?

I saw an old woman on the price is right (shocker) who had my name. I always tried to picture me old, like, my name doesn't sound like an old person's name. Weird.

Speaking of names. Someone with my last name friended me on Facebook. It turns out we are not even related. This is completely strange because I have such an unusual name. Hint: it ends in ski and it's polish. There aren't many of us out there.

It's been nice the past couple of days. This means, assholes in my neighborhood find it necessary to ride their 100 times louder than a harley dirtbikes in the woods behind my house until at least 9pm. I debated last night whether I hated that more until 9...or city noise (traffic, ambulance, fire, ghetto folk yelling at each other at the bus stop, loud buses...etc) more. Last night it was the dirbike that won because I just wanted to take a nap.

Reason 234,897 not to have kids. I love naps.

Reason 458,589 not to have kids they may have dirtbikes and annoy me

I got these in the vending machine yesterday. This may be why I gained 3lbs this week. Ugh. Chocolate covered pop rocks, I can vouch for being delicious!


I had to go pick up my birth control at planned parenthood last night. I've yet to have another exam at the real gyno (now that I have insurance) so I can get my script anywhere, because well...exams aren't fun and one per year is plenty. Am I right ladies? Point of this story is, I got a $10 discount on my birth control from the stimulus package. GO OBAMA! Say what you want but if I get something out of this deal, I'm loving it!

I'm going to a party at my manfriends on Saturday. He said on the invitation they will be playing cornhole. I despise when people say cornhole. I am going to start an anti cornhole movement. It's a disgusting word, that refers to your crapper, not a backyard game. It's called BEAN BAG TOSS SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME! Gawd. You didn't play CORNHOLE in kindergarten! Look up cornhole in the urban dictionary. Yea. Not cool.

Peeve...

More things that bother me. Because you care.

At work, we run a bazillion awards each month. Then they are signed by VP's. Then we run labels, and put labels on envelopes and stuff the awards into the envelopes. I know, captivating. I didn't say I was saving the world, it's a job.

To speed this process up, we run the awards, and labels both in a logical numerical order, so you just stuff them right from the stack.

VP's like to play cards with them and shuffel them all up. No matter how many times you tell them it takes HOURS as opposed to minutes to stuff envelopes because they do this crap, it doesn't matter. It bugs me. It's like playing memory or something, OH OH! I saw 371 mid way thru this stack.....

There are some new people to the gym at work. They bring annoying habits. The girl is I dunno, "older" and she breathes really loud and counts. "pffffffffffffffooooooooo one.... pfooooooooo two.... pfffffffoooooo three". Hello? You are interrupting my showcase showdown, betch!

The second, is this guy that I wish I had a video of. He rides a bike, two machines down from my treadmill. He must put the thing on the highest level, and covers his head with a towel, because I think he has that kid mentality, you can't see us, so we can't see you....

He talks to himself. He says things as if he is his own trainer, like "come on, come on, push it push it" and he says these things in a dirty sex talk kinda way, while violently out of breath. Like, dirty, you know......

The last lady gets on the treadmill and runs it at an 8 or 9. Mind you, I run pretty fast for short stubby me at a 5.6. She doesn't run at an 8 or 9, she holds on to the bar and holds on for dear life, and walks. I have no idea what she is doing. One time the guy that loaned me his pants, asked her why she did that and she said for her stomach. He told her she isn't really doing anything for her cardiovascular system. I had to laugh. This was on my second workout yesterday. (props!) I havn't gone back to boot camp due to it's enormous cost, and I've been losing weight on my own.

When I win the lottery and buy my island, I'm going to have a bad ass gym that no one is allowed to go into but me. It's going to be the arctic cus I hate to be hot. I'll also have one of these personal coolers I've been reading up on. And I'll have a big TV with my tivo, and a bad ass sound system for when I feel like jamming out while I run. I'm also going to have someone feed me grapes, but that's another story.

Know what doesn't bother me? Contests! There is a fun contest over at Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom where you can win a truckton of South Beach Living stuff. Who doesn't love that? It's delicious! She has lots of contests, but this one especially peaked my interest, go and enter to win. Only if that means you wont beat me though, I'm a little competitive.

P.S. I made a yummy omlet which I thought was gross at the time, I put leftover frozen veggies in it, broccoli, cauliflower, peas, squash, water chestnuts, all mixed in my egg beater. Mmmm.

P.S.S. Jillian on the biggest loser tried to compare MASHED POTATOS to CAULIFLOWER yesterday. I love both, but these are not the same. On my island, mashed potatos and cheese with ranch dressing will be the national food. If you don't like it, get your own island!

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid...

One night we were talking a group of us, around the fire. The guys were discussing about porn. We all laughed as we talked about different terms for a 'money shot' and whatnot. Us girls got a kick out of how the guys knew all this special terminology. For porn. Yea. You should always be proud you know what a rusty trombone is. (gross!)

Then, one guy said something about those women with grotesquely (is that a word?) Huge breasts and how it is nasty. Another guy said "I like small tits". Then CP pipes in "Me too, A or AA!!!". Mind you, I'm sitting right next to him, sporting my double D's.

So, I pinched him, discreetly, and said that's a real nice comment to make right in front of me and my friends. He then told me, "I like yours too". I know we all like an ideal man or woman, but you don't mention those ideals in front of the person you are with, and her friends.

So, I told him that would be like me saying 'ideally I like big cocks, but yours is ok too'. Because honestly? But do I ever mention that? No.

Get the picture? After that he was mad at ME for it. Because I turned it into a big deal. I insulted his manhood. Maybe I did, but I am the one who felt insulted. He is honestly the first guy I have personally dated, that has ever not liked ample breastage! Then, one of the guys kept saying, "Boobs are a bonus, if you got em you got em".

Some things are just better left unsaid....another example:

My ex TWDSO was really excited when Debbie Gibson was in Playboy. TWDSO had to countdown the days until Debbie was in the magazine. "15 days til the new Playboy...14, 13... he said that shit to me. Every. Day. Like I cared. The day of the release, he emailed me at work:

"Debbie Gibson comes out today I'm so excited! I'm going on my lunch break to pick it up!"

I replied:

"(so and so joe schlong) comes out today, I'm so excited"

He asked me if it was a CD I was buying. Who is so and so joe schlong? I just took my happy ass down to the adult book store on my lunch break, which is way classy btw, and got a Playgirl. After all my girlfriends got a kick out of it, I laid it around the house every day with the buff men and their huge packages face up. Since, He read his Playboy in bed next to me, I found this an even trade.

It wasn't the playboy. He had hundreds of them. It was that he had to go out of his way to tell me every day that he couldn't wait to see some other chick naked.

It's not the fact that men do this stupid shit, for me, it's when they have to make it a big deal. It's ok to watch porn, or look at playboy, whatever. What you do in your spare time is your business within reason. If you want to jerk it to someone else, don't tell me!

But don't have guy talk in front of your girl, and don't tell her how excited you are to see another chick naked. Or how you prefer small breasted women, when clearly your girl is NOT! Thinking it, is one thing, saying it to her is another!

When you ask a guy what he looks for generally, it's physical. Hair color, breast size, thin, thick, complexion etc... When you ask a woman, generally it's a personality. Sense of humor, caring, kind etc...

We are far more likely to overlook someones appearance, than men are. I'm not saying that men don't, but not as often as women. We talk to the guy that doesn't catch our eye, because he makes us laugh. Guys tend to talk to the girl who catches their eye, until she talks. How right am I?