"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

The Universe According to Me...

Long ago, I was lost. I wasn't who I am today, and I wasn't happy. Once I started on a path of self improvement, positive thinking, the law of attraction, and buddhism, things all changed for me.

Maybe we all just need something to believe in?

I really believe the mind is the source of all of our trouble, joy, and sadness. The one thought that opened me up to the power of the mind was of course, Wayne Dyer (whom I heart as a spiritual teacher) talking about memories. How powerful a memory can be that it makes you laugh, or cry years later, or makes you feel attached to a moment. Memories are nothing more than thoughts, yet they evoke those emotions.

Think about it. So is love. You can't hold love. It's a feeling, a thought, and is quite powerful.

So, bad thoughts have just as much power, this started me on my path towards positive thinking. Why waste time on negative thoughts? For the most part, I do well with this. I'm always complimented at work on my upbeat, positive outlook, and my ability to motivate others. I love that about myself.

But since the dumping, something has been missing. The love I felt for exmanfriend hasn't been replaced with love for anything else. And while I've always read about improving, I've always been alone on the journey.

Once I took a group meditation in Virginia, and it was the most amazing experience (almost orgasmic...true story) of my life.

Monday I was upset, and crying to the universe, that I am ready to let "this" (the exmanfriend bs) go, and I am open to love. I am ready to move on and put it behind me. I couldn't sleep, so I repeated these things over, and over as a mantra.

The next morning the first thing I googled was Akron Buddhism. And I found a local center close to my house, where I will be attending an orientation tonight.

And thus begins my new spiritual path with Shambhala buddhism, and Shambhala training.

Exmanfriend and I shared this interest, and read about it extensively, but we never followed up with it. He's a good bullshitter, and talker. I'm a doer, and I guess in a way I let him stifel that in me.

This is something that can come out of the wreckage of the break up. I can find my spirituality, and inner peace, and like minded people.

Without him.


Sister Copinherhair said...

I applaud you.

Teena in Toronto said...

Very cool! Lemme know how it goes.

mylittlebecky said...

love it! :)

Fizzgig said...

yay me! unfortunatly last night wasnt the usual open house, so they said to come next week. =(