"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Monday, September 28, 2009

Things Boys Do..

There are things I will never understand about boys, but if I did I may rule the world...

Why does it take a boy an hour to poop, but it takes me 2 minutes. This has nothing to do with it being their "alone time" cus single boys take an hour to poop too.

My theory is boys are dumb and obviously have no idea what the feeling to poop is? I mean, don't we all get the twinge, like...oh I gotta poo?

Sometimes you can feel it traveling thru the intestines, which I call a false alarm, its not ready to come out yet. It means, I'll have to go later. I think boys go sit on the shitter at that first twinge, and wonder why they can't crap.

I also go like, twice a day. I think boys try to get it all out at once. They like to finish a task, put their seal on it.

Honestly, is there a logical answer? I'm gonna have to email this one to Dr. Oz. Because I don't know any girls that take an hour to poop, but every boy does. Maybe it has to do with having balls?

I also don't know any girls that get drunk and pee on things in their "sleep". This weekend, I heard another story, making it 5 boys I know that have done this. Peeing in closets, on other people, in corners....I know you have a story of a boy who peed in their sleep, right?

Then there is my ex, that peed the freaking bed. How do you get to be 30 something, and pee the bed? Oh, ....drugs! That's probably the most unattractive thing...EVER.

Oh, sorry honey did I wake you up pissing on your back? My bad!

Or, my favorite excuse was

"it's not pee, I have night sweats"

I'm happy to report that my manfriend has not peed on me, or in my corners. And if he pees on my toilet ive seen him wipe it off. You can't have him. I'm already devising a plan to steal him for myself. He's my perfect fit.

Oh yea, who watched trauma? That show was pretty good!! Except for I didn't like seeing that girl bang her partner in the squad car. Seeing how my manfriend had a girl partner forever, and lots of free time, it turned my stomach. Bleh.

I don't like to have bad thoughts like that. But sometimes they sneak in!


Andhari said...

LOL i like how this post's concept is all about poops and pees. Anyway, I never get it people who pee all over the places when they're drunk too. I mean, yuck?

Carmen said...

This is definitely one for Dr. Oz. If he talks about the shape of Oprah's poops, he must know the answer to this one...

And my brother peed in a laundry hamper once. But he was 4 so I will let it go, just that one time.

Anonymous said...

I once got up in the middle of the night drunk as hell and pissed in the boyfriend at the time's laundry basket. I also hid the remote for the TV in the dishwasher and the remote for the DVD player in the freezer.... oops my bad.

Alaskan Dave Down Under said...

Can't speak for the peeing, but I can say that, as a true blue bloke, it's about a minute from when I walk into the crapper till I walk out of the crapper to, ahhhhhh, crap. I've never understood why anydude would want to sit on the toilet any longer than necessary.

'Course, I've been known to take longer if I remember to wipe...