"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Lost Is Found...

Hey. Lost is on tonight. Did you hear me? LOST IS ON TONIGHT! Omg I swear when I say that, my heart races. I'm all a flutter! I'd love to know whose bright idea it was to be on at 10:00. Which means I can't watch it until 10:30 in order to FF thru commercials with Tivo.

Is it cold enough for ya? Cold? That's an understatement. They say it hasn't been this cold in
something like 20 years. They canceled schools for 2 days, not because of snow, because it's freaking cold. Wind chill of -20. I think it warmed up to -15 last night. I had to turn my heat up to 65. That's a stretch for me, but it's nice and cozy warm. It's so cold, the Yankee Candle Oil car freshner I have on my car heater vent, froze solid. That's oil. How cold does it have to get, to freeze oil? Yea, it's that cold. The cold makes your eyes water. Takes your breath away. Numbs your body. I garage my car. I get out only to shut the garage door, then it takes me about an hour to warm my extremeties after being outside. Let me say this out loud...thank GOD I'm not homeless.

I've been pretty boring lately. I'm in one of those moods where everybody sucks, and everything is fucked. Some call it PMS, but with my irregular monthly visitor, I call it part of life. I've been trucking along working out, but thats about it. I have off the second job thru the week now. Which rocks. Only, I'm sorta bored. But, yet, I don't want to do anything. Man, I feel like a woman. Is it just me? I can never make up my damn mind.

I have been saving my wine bottles. Only because I don't want my life to be like that episode of
Desperate Housewives where Bree's friends line up her wine bottles on her front porch for all to see. I cut down. Only cus I'm poor. And, I suppose cus of the calories. But I still love it so.
I have to think rational if I want to quit the second job, I can't have such luxuries! You know, like wine. And food. And entertainment.

I'm so distraught over it. I want to quit and I don't. I got my regular pay at the FT job, and I make what I did a couple of years ago take home. Minus benefits though. I can't afford to get them, so I hope I don't develop something horrible in the next year or I'm gonna have to marry me a rich man. Know of any? Preferably they should also be funny, and worship me. But that's just minor details.

CP has offered to move in on a part time basis and pay some bills. Meaning I guess he'd stay with me a couple nights a week but not move stuff in. I dunno what to do. I don't want to keep moving back and forth with us, so if it happens I'd like it to be for real. And I don't know if this is what I want right now. Something is "off" in my life and I don't know what it is. Oprah says, this is when you start to figure stuff out, and become yourself. In your thirties. And we know how I love my Oprah. Don't hate!

1 comment:

Bianca said...

I'm sorry you're broke. I know how much that sucks.