"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Sunday, October 14, 2012

What a Difference Two Years Makes...

One of the best things about being single, is the time you have to focus on yourself. At first this is terrifying. Being alone. Oh, the horror! It's scarey. It's lonley. No one understands.

It's been over two years.

This the longest I have ever been single since my very first boyfriend at 12 years old.

Dating? Yes. But without the strong need for being a "couple" dating forces you to be more choosy. In the past I'd have held on to someone who wasn't right for me, simply to be a "couple".

Two years of trying new things. Spending more time with friends and family. Discovering the greatness of Friday happy hours with my girlfriends, and early Saturday runs. Getting in shape....NOT just losing weight. Running races (I still can't believe this one!!) and simply getting to know myself.

Two years of finally having a savings, paying off debt, getting new furniture, and a new car. Learning that you are what you eat, and loving that journey, just as much as I hate it.

Being single forces you to enjoy your own company. Loving your alone time, and being in touch with your own thoughts, feelings, and dreams, without the distraction of what anyone else has to say about it.

Was I letting others hold me back until now? No. I just wasn't ready to be alone. But when you need "something" badly enough, the universe finds a way of making you find out what that "something" is.

Sometimes I find myself wishing I was in love. But if I had someone else to focus on, I'd have never had the opportunity to learn my limits, or find out what I am capeable of, which is far more than I gave myself credit for.

The fact that I am still single doesn't mean I am horrible. Or unloveable. I won't wind up an old maid with 80 cats. To me, it simply means I still have more to learn. I'd rather take the time now, so that when love does find me, I am 100% ready.

I'm learning to embrace what life has given me, rather than fight it.

And what's to fight? Because honestly,  my life is really great. Instead of wallowing in self pity for two years, or needing the constant distraction of others, I've had the opportunity to appreciate who I am. I get to realize that while some people I know are in loveless, or unhappy relationships, I still have the opportunity to find my happily ever after!

And when the stars are aligned, that person with an equally great life is going to cross my path, and the possibilities will be endless.


Rachel said...

Bravo!! :) Some people never come to this realization. You, my dear, have done it! ;) XO

White Space said...

Convention (other people) say you need to be with someone to be happy and in fact I've found the opposite is true for me personally.

I love being single - I can do what I like when I like with nobody questioning my opinions or my decisions, I can watch what I like on TV and come home whenever I feel like it.

I'm in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend on 2 years whom I live with. This is my longest relationship. I don't really even feel sad, I feel like another new adventure is just about to start.

Finding a partner in life is great if it happens but nobody should feel like half a person if they are single. There are no guarantees that we'll ever find the right person, and if that doesn't happen then we have to feel like we have a full life alone.

In fact I much prefer to fly solo and don't think I ever want to live with a man again. They often seem to ruin the journey for me!

A relationship should enhance our lives not fulfil it. well done for seeing that. x

Teena in Toronto said...

I loved being single ... I was kicking and screaming to give it up. Ha!

Fizzgig said...

so true. most people go from person to person and never learn who they really are! or how to be happy alone in order to be happy with someone else!

White space:
here here! So true! Single is great, and until i find someone worth giving it up for, i could get use to this!

It is hard to let go! lol

Allison M. said...

enhance, add sparkle and value - all things a relationship should be!