Sunday, October 14, 2012
What a Difference Two Years Makes...
One of the best things about being single, is the time you have to focus on yourself. At first this is terrifying. Being alone. Oh, the horror! It's scarey. It's lonley. No one understands.
It's been over two years.
This the longest I have ever been single since my very first boyfriend at 12 years old.
Dating? Yes. But without the strong need for being a "couple" dating forces you to be more choosy. In the past I'd have held on to someone who wasn't right for me, simply to be a "couple".
Two years of trying new things. Spending more time with friends and family. Discovering the greatness of Friday happy hours with my girlfriends, and early Saturday runs. Getting in shape....NOT just losing weight. Running races (I still can't believe this one!!) and simply getting to know myself.
Two years of finally having a savings, paying off debt, getting new furniture, and a new car. Learning that you are what you eat, and loving that journey, just as much as I hate it.
Being single forces you to enjoy your own company. Loving your alone time, and being in touch with your own thoughts, feelings, and dreams, without the distraction of what anyone else has to say about it.
Was I letting others hold me back until now? No. I just wasn't ready to be alone. But when you need "something" badly enough, the universe finds a way of making you find out what that "something" is.
Sometimes I find myself wishing I was in love. But if I had someone else to focus on, I'd have never had the opportunity to learn my limits, or find out what I am capeable of, which is far more than I gave myself credit for.
The fact that I am still single doesn't mean I am horrible. Or unloveable. I won't wind up an old maid with 80 cats. To me, it simply means I still have more to learn. I'd rather take the time now, so that when love does find me, I am 100% ready.
I'm learning to embrace what life has given me, rather than fight it.
And what's to fight? Because honestly, my life is really great. Instead of wallowing in self pity for two years, or needing the constant distraction of others, I've had the opportunity to appreciate who I am. I get to realize that while some people I know are in loveless, or unhappy relationships, I still have the opportunity to find my happily ever after!
And when the stars are aligned, that person with an equally great life is going to cross my path, and the possibilities will be endless.