"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

If I were in charge, life would be fair...

Recently I was talking with a girlfriend about our current and past relationships. We both had a 7 year run, mine ended in divorce, hers a break up. Both were over 10 years ago, and neither were the greatest of matches.

She asked if I ever thought fondly of the ex husband, or missed what we had. We were high school "sweethearts" (puke) and had all of our firsts together, and for a while, I thought I'd never get past that, and move on. Even 8 years later when he remarried, and I'm still hopelessly flailing around the dating pool, it hurt me.

But as I've said before, running into him and his not remembering all the shitty things he did, reminded me that only I can hold myself back. And only I have control over how I feel about anyone at any time.

But if I'm being honest...I still miss that exassholemanfriend of mine. In my 34 years I was never that in love with anyone.

The only thing I can do is remember how he dumped me because he was afraid to move forward like a coward....on facebook no less. Moved his shit out while I was at work. And left me a letter.

So...almost as quickly, I imagine covering cat poop in chocolate, nestling it into pretty paper cups, and shrink wrapping it in a whitmans sampler box...and sending it to him. I imagine with delight, the look on his face when he bites into a chocolate covered cat poop.

1 comment:

Teena in Toronto said...

Call me cold but I tend to move on and not think of past relationships. They aren't worth the energy. They are past for a reason.