Back in July, when me and the manfriend were on vacay, we attended a lecture on soul mates at the A.R.E. I've also read the book "Soul Mates, The New Age Guide to Finding your One True Love". I read that book when I had the same idea most people have. That a soul mate is the one person in the world who is meant for you to love. Which, if you think about, is really kind of sad. Why only one person to love? If you had your heart broken, and havn't looked back to say the person was a total loser (which, does happen) what does that mean? You lost your one true love and you will never have another?
I finished the book with quite another perception. A twin soul, as taught in the lecture, is the division of the soul out in the universe (or heaven if you so believe) before taking human form. There is a yin and a yang, and one usually takes on male characteristics, while the other, female.
You are not necessarily incarnated at the same time on the earth, nor are you destined to find one another. The ideal "soul mate" most people describe is actually a twin soul.
Soul mates, are everywhere. They are whomever comes into your life to teach you a lesson, that you need to learn. Boyfriends, husbands, friends, teachers, Moms, Dads. It's whoever you feel connected to beyond this world, which is hard to explain, but it's a feeling. They are put in your life to teach you lessons, and then they are gone.
The idea that there is one perfect person that completes you in the world, is sort of like the ounce of hope in all of us, something to strive for. "I know my someone is out there". Which is true, but you can't waste your life thinking that you have to find that one person who will complete you. Because different people will complete you at different points in your life.
Which goes my favorite analogy as related to me by one of my many counselors. The shoes. If you wear a size 8 shoe, and try to put on a size 6, it isn't going to fit. You can want it to fit, and fight it to fit, but it just doesn't fit. If you force it to fit, it will give you blisters, and make you uncomfortable (and yes, perhaps bitchy). Who's fault is it that the shoe doesn't fit?
Yours? Or the shoes?
It's neither's fault. The fault is in that it's not the right size shoe, and therefore did not fit. It's the same with relationships. You try them on for size and sometimes they don't fit.
So, when you find the right size shoe. You should put it on, and walk around in it. Enjoy the fit! There's a reason for it.