I think everyones opinion of cheating depends on their experience with it. What's yours?
Some say, once a cheater always a cheater.
Some say, different circumstances, different people.
Some say lesson learned, doesn't mean it will happen again.
Some say it depends on the conditions of the "affair" was it love, sex, or companionship?
My experience has been this. I'm 34. I've had roughly...8 serious relationships. By serious I mean, the "L" word was used.
Out of my 8 serious relationships, 7 of them cheated on me. I am not for sure about one, its never been confirmed, but that one wasn't *circumsized so if he got someone else to do him, kudos!
One of the cheaters was my husband. We were together 7 years. There was never a day that went by that we didn't have sex. We had good sex. Sex he even came back for long after we were divorced...alot (euw) and begged me for. (yea...he did..once he even broke in my apt at 3 am and tried to get in bed w/me, hes lucky he didn't get killed!)
Cheating isn't always about sex. It's about the cheater. He was a peice of crap so he needed to feel good by being wanted by other women I guess. I duno, cus he sure wasn't a prize. Yet, he found skanks to do him. Several.
His cheating resulted in a child. Guess who still went to counseling to save their marriage? It is definately possible to save if there is 1)genuine regret, and remorsefulness (he never really apologized...) and 2) willing to work on things (mostly he thought it was funny)
Still, it never crossed my mind to cheat on him. After that, I dated another asshole who treated me like even bigger crap, and he cheated on me, alot. I did cheat on him. Not just once or twice. But a lot. And, the person I cheated on him with was also cheating on someone.
I use to think this was horrible! That was the one and only time I ever cheated on anyone. But I sort of felt like I wondered what the big deal was. What was so exciting about it? I found nothing exciting about it at all. This was in my mid 20's. Before I knew who I was. Now I know, that is not a part of who I am.
So, from personal experience, I know cheating doesn't make you a cheater. I've never done it since, and it's never even crossed my mind. Even when guys buy me drinks. Or ask to come over in the middle of the night, or say how much they miss me because they screwed up in the past and want to come back. It doesn't occur to me to cheat. It doesn't make me want to hurt anyone because I've done it before.
So, in my experience, people can learn a lesson, and not do it again. I've been on all sides of this issue.
Speaking of. New guy msgd me this wknd. Wanted to hook up. I've since moved on from that and on to something else. And again, it didn't cross my mind even though it would be easy to do, logistically speaking.
I'm a changed woman. Why don't you think people can change?
*I know, gross...I'm sorry it wasn't the best for me either.