"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Peices of Me....

I get all sorts of messages from the dating sites. One thing I can say for losing weight, the quality of men (looks wise) has really shot up for me.

On the same note, the cute ones are just as douchy as the sorta cute ones are. Instead of trying to get right into your pants (because this is obviously what chubby girls want, right?) they try to act slick about it. But, most of us can see right through this. It isn't that I don't want someone to get in my pants, cus that would be quite nice, thank you...but I'm not giving the milk away when the cow attached to it is a pretty good catch!

I got a really great message from this one guy, who actually read my profile, which is really detailed, and totally "me", and touched on so many of our "shared interests" including buddhism, which is a bonus for me.

I thought, wow, this guy might actually warrant a response.

I went to his profile, and it was all written like.."yes, I will bring you flowers for no reason, yes we can go to the dog park when its superbowl Sunday" etc....

The first No?

"No, the animals can not sleep in bed with us"

This is where I quit reading.


Then my Mom's voice is in my head "you're never going to find someone that is Ok with all those animals"

Well..then I don't want him. Especially if you have a human kid. My pets are way less baggage, and if they want to keep my feet warm, I'm OK with it. I don't want human kids but I'm not opposed to the possibility, and you have a problem with a cat on the pillow?

My future Mr. Me, is going to be super cute, a fabulous kisser, hilarious, awesome in the sack, and love everything about me. Including the fact that I am compassionate for all things, including cats, and dogs!

I didn't respond.

And he sent me several other messages, about how he was waiting to get to know me, and he couldn't wait.

So I just responded...

"You wouldn't like it in my bed, I have 4 cats and a dog"

This is the part where I am not needy and desperate, and I know what I want. And I am not willing to compromise.

Not anymore. I'm done with maybe this, and maybe that, and the "some day's".

The last 3 years of my life was spent waiting for a guy to get his head out of his ass and realize what we had. He only seemed to get that, when he dumped me. Three times. And while I really miss what we had, I remind myself that if he thought what we had was what I thought we had, we'd be living happily ever after. And the fact that I keep thinking about him is more about being lonely, than about us.

The future Mr. Me is out there, and until I find him, I'm not wasting anymore time on people who are not what I want. I don't need someone for "the meantime". I'm not a dater. I'm a relationship girl. I always have been, and this is who I will always be.

In the meantime, I have my family, my friends, and my own life and interests to keep me entertained. The future Mr. Me, is going to be worth the wait... the tears.. the times I miss being held at night, and the yeeeearrrrs of mis-steps off of my path, with people who now...I wouldn't give a second look, or a second thought to... and make me thankful that I finally found what I was looking for.

The future Mr. Me is going to hold my hand, and walk down the road with me. Not let go, and run away. Not try to drag me in another direction. We will walk together. Toward what we both want. Laughing, and acting like we are 17 the entire way.

Why did it take me 35 years to get here? Well...the universe has been throwing stones at me all my life. But I ignored them.

Then, I got hit with a boulder, and now....? I'm listening.


Carolyn G said...

I will give you the best advice I ever got from my granny: Mejor sola que mal acompanada. Translation: Better alone then in bad company. I also took it to mean, never settle. I never settled and ended up with a pretty great guy at the age of 31.

The other good piece of advice she gave me: Never have kids! Best advice ever!!

Debbie said...

The good ones are out there. I've got one. We sleep with 4 of our 6 dogs (the other 2 choose not to, thank goodness). He also feeds and takes care of the neighborhood feral cats. He kisses good too :-)

Allison M. said...

I love your third to the last paragraph. and especially "laughing and acting like we are 17 the entire way.'

Fizzgig said...

I think i like your granny!

Amen! You give me hope!

otherwise, what's the point, right?

Teena in Toronto said...

If someone wasn't okay with my animals, I'd have to walk away.

Fizzgig said...

a-men! I find there to be something wrong with "non animal people" probably the same way people think "non-kids people" are weird. Which, we aren't weird, we have peace, freedom, sleep, and more money!

mylittlebecky said...

you have to have your deal breakers because you're worth it! :)