Halloweener...

Tonight, I'm going to Scare Creek with some girlfriends. Where there is two haunted houses, hayride, and forest, followed by a bonfire. Muh ah ah ah ah. Luckily some of them will be nurses in case my heart stops beating. Just kidding. I don't get scared scared. I get startled scared, but I'm at the point where I know its not a monster.

I mean, I'm 33. Should I even be going to this event? Hells yea, cus its gonna be so much fun!

It better stop raining.

Did I mention I saw Paranormal Activity a couple wks ago? I drove allllll the way to independence (kind of a haul) to see it, and it kinda sucked. It was a really good red box $1 rental! Saw 6 will not disappoint me!

Tomorrow is manfriends halloween party. Where I'm going to dress up like a paper doll, have the most original costume, and have some cocktails.

Manfriend is going to be a priest with a stiffy. Go figure. There's a reason I love that boy. And its not about religion. Oh I guess its not about stiffy's either. But thats a bonus!

Im making buffalo chicken dip that I had at a party once and is now my favorite thing. It has cheese, cream cheese, ranch dressing, canned chicken, and red hot, all melted up in the crock pot. It's quite delicious.

I'll have to blog about how my ex bf called me last wknd. I swear its been over for almost 10 years.

Truth or Fiction...

Man: where do you see our relationship going?

Woman: I want to marry you, not tomorrow but in the future.

Subject is changed to something like, being in love, and liking to hang out with each other or something similar.

If this were true would it be a bad thing?

Not so Glowing Review...

Yesterday I gave annoying coworker her review. In said review, I made mention of something I had verbally counseled her on back in May. She was rude to the mail room and asked for her own mail box because she thought she was important or something. She gets confidential bonus information. What. Ever.

The supervisor called me. I talked to annoying coworker, she apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. I keep a "performance log" on each person, its very detailed. I use this for reviews. So I don't forget what happens. So if someone denies something, I have proof.

So when I come to that part on her review she says "that didn't happen". I said "annoying coworker, it did happen, we talked about it, and you apologized, I documented that conversation"

She came up with a totally different story. And wrote it on her review. She's delusional. Seriously.

She got a lower score than her last supervisor gave her. She got almost the lowest score on all her "interpersonal skills" areas. My boss's boss has to sign off on them. He signed and returned it to me with this note:

"I'm really suprised the score was so high w/the counselings and other issues I would have given her a "1" in (notes interpersonal skills sections) This was a gift."

Yea the boss's boss doesn't like you. You're in trouble.

Her score was in the middle section of the scale. I mean she does a great job, she just has no personal skills. The rest made up for her mediocre score.

ups...

I had a great time this weekend. Last Friday I had a much needed girls night. I met my friends at All Fired Up, a pottery place, to make spoooooky halloween plates, and drink wine. Then we went to have cocktails at the bar nearby, and some laughs.

And left to another bar, and had more laughs. Two of my girlfriends had never heard shewolf by shakira. What is their problems? I really enjoyed my cherry vodka and club sodas at the Firehouse cus they gave me cherries in my drink. Life is a bowl of cherries you know.

Saturday I picked up my new glasses, which made me feel woooozie cus its a totally new script. I went shopping with my Mom and her sisters, had dinner with them all, and backed into a telephone pole like a total asshole. I didnt see it even after I hit it. At first I thought....."omg I hit someone, and they are dead".

You cant even on my super car. Dodge. Like a rock. Wait, is that ford? I dunno....

That night I went to see my cute manfriend. When I'm with him it doesnt seem to bother me that we have no future. We went to a nerd convention at a hotel, and one of his friends in a nerd group called "barfleet" (yes, after starfleet from star trek...) had a party. It was a lot of fun but I'd catch myself laughing as I looked around at all the costumed people and thought....this isn't a halloween party.

They enjoy dressing up. Its their thing. It was a Live Action Role Playing thing. Did I mention there was free liquer, and dancing? Yea, um, dancing.

So, the manfriend and I have talked about "us" many times and he says stuff like "if we lived together....." and "im not ready and i cant say when i will be" " i see a future with you but im not ready now" and refers to us being old and grey together.

But its all talk. I understand being burned, but havn't we all? I dont like having conversations where nothing changes and to be honest, I'm afraid to end an amazing relationship because we may just want different things. I've never done that. Ive had shitty relationships that ended cus they were shitty.

Obviously, I'm dating a commitment phobe. I was with my ex husband for 7 years. He did a lot of crappy things to me, and we were volatile at the end. But I don't punish manfriend for it. Its in the past. I'm still paying for what his past has done to him. That's not fair.

I love him and hes good to me, and the fact that I want something he says he isnt ready for....scares me. So I keep stalling. I don't want to push him away. But seriously, after two years, I think you know where it is going. And we have had an amazing two years, it isn't like it's been questionable.

Rain and Snow...

When I get down in the dumper I think about things like how you date someone forever, and they don't want to commit to you ie; live together or discuss marriage, and then they dump you and move in with ..another girl.

Or how you're married and your husband says I just dont love you anymore. And has knocked up another girl. Or how he says "marriage isnt for me" ...and then gets married. To another girl.

As was my facebook status today, when a guy doesn't want to get married, he just doesn't want to marry you.....

It may have happened to me a time or two.

I don't know if I'm projecting or what, but I have a feeling this is going to happen to me again.

Nothing has happened and I'm fabulously happy. As long as I'm happy living apart from the man I love indefinately.

And don't want to get married one day. Perhaps forever. Which I do want.

And as long as it doesn't matter to me that when people ask about our future in front of me he shrugs and says eeeehhhhh.....i dunno.....

I'm ususally a strong unflappable person, but I do have needs, and wants, and from time to time if you read me you'll know this gets to me. There's a reason it keeps coming up.

And...then you blow off your second workout for the day to go home and cry.

Another One Down....

Another swine flu case in the dept. I sat with this person yesterday. I have a headache today thats how it starts.

Only I'm not getting it. I have way too much to do in October. And I live alone. I'll die alone. Who will want to come bring me fluids when I'm contageious. Who will feed my animals. And bathe my stinky dog. And make her take her pills. And clean my catboxes.

Bleh.

Last time I was deathly ill, I peed myself. And I didn't care. I had no one to make me change cus I stank. Luckily My friend Beth got my scripts for me, and Kat took me to the urgent care. Or I very well may have been cat food.

Speaking of sick, I went to the eye dr. yesterday. My insurance pretty much blowed...it covered a whopping $110, for glasses and/or contacts, and I had to pay $10 for the exam. Glasses, which were only $99 frames, cost me 200 something, so I still had to pay over $100 for my appointment.

I pay more than that for my insurance. Then, they changed one of my eyes, ive always had the same vision in both, so im able to get 1 box of contacts and save money. Nope, now I have one slightly different.

I'm glad I have insurance, but it's cheaper to go to walmart w/o insurance.

Saturday was a beautiful day! A perfect day for canoeing!

A lot of people bailed because they all suck and dont know how to have a good time, but that's their bad.

We ended up only going with manfriend's high school friend and her husband. And the party ensued thereafter around 7.

We were up until 6 in the morning. You know I'm going to be paying for that for the next week.

I get to go to the eye dr today and finally get new contacts its only been forever I've had one pair left.

And my glasses blow.

Sofa King...

I'm back to work and fabulous. Not in that order thought. I had a great time in Columbus with my manfriend. Who at like 6:00 realized the wedding was not at 4:30 but at 12, so driving to columbus in our wedding clothes wasn't an option. We pulled together a hotel, got to my house, fed the kids, and settled in our hotel by around 11:30 Saturday. Not too shabby.





The wedding was outside Sunday. Freezing cold. On the water. Isn't that picture pretty? It is if you like the city. I guess. Oh, but they had their dog at the wedding w/a bowtie on. CUTE! And it was vegan. Which I liked, but manfriend is a meat eater. So the cabbage peirogis werent his favorite. I think he ate two potato ones. We had wine instead.



And then ate at the bar afterwards.



On my agenda was to clean my garage, and I took cushions off my couch out there thats been there like 5 years. And, there was a mouse nest! Eeeeek! So I screamed and went inside. My mom came the next day to help me drag it out to the curb. We got a lot accomplished too.



I'm all kinds of excited to be back at work. My annoying coworker annoyed another department in my absence. I already talked to her about it once. While meeting with my boss and bosses boss today, bosses boss said "coworker is not pleasant to interact with, I asked her how she was in the hall yesterday and she growled at me....she actually made that noise"



It doesn't suprise me. She's a mental case. She makes weird noises. I said "oh she didn't feel well yesterday, that's how she expresses herself"

Outtie!...

I'm off work for 3 days! That's exciting to me. Five total, but you know!



In the tradition of taking vacation I had to do double the work all week in preparation for leaving, and will have double the work when I get back. grrrr...



I'm going to Columbus to a wedding on Sunday with the manfriend. (who gets married on a sunday?) We may stay two nights, we may not.



Manfriends birthday is Tuesday, and like everyone else he gets a gift from work, which means its either precious metal or precious stone! Its cheaper for me cus I don't have to pay interest. And I get a discount. Cha ching!



You know its been 455 days since I took vacation? That's almost un American!



Oh i had to email my landlord and tell her how I can't pay my rent until next friday....Its only my second time being late. But I hate it!

I lost half a pound this week since joining spark people. Although I had two people comment that I look like I lost weight, randomly. Who knows. I have been working out twice a day for weeks now, somethings gotta give!

I'm going to play beer pong with my manfriend tonight. And meet his friends new fling. You know I don't like having to get to know new significant others. I kinda liked the old one. Hmf.