"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, November 05, 2013

I'm OK, You're Ok...

A post by a fellow blogger, got my wheels turning. I love to read inspirational posts, especially when I can so closely relate! Check out Urban Cynic! 

I've been single forever. Like, years forever. I've dated here and there, but nothing special. If I put too much thought into being single, it can be terrifying.

I take each day as it comes, and I am happy. Sincerely...happy on my own!

I spent the majority of my adult and teen life in relationships. My longest "single" stretch before now was 7 months. And that seemed like a lifetime at 25!

I was a relationship hopper, for sure! Being alone? Gasp!!!

Relationships are comfortable when you are use to being in one, and unless you pass through the uncomfortable part, you will never get to the good parts!

Relationships also require sacrifice. The longer you are on your own, and learn to embrace a single life, the easier it is to realize the things you are willing to sacrifice.

Being single, forces you to really understand who you are. Not just because you have all sorts of time to reflect on what was right, or wrong in said relationships..but more importantly, because you realize the things that truly make you "you".

The longer you are single, the more you are forced to face the idea that yes...maybe you will be alone forever. And so what? As long as you embrace the idea, you might as well start finding things to fill up your life. Plan for your future. Decide what makes you tick!

Once you give in to the idea, and start to appreciate your single life, it seems less like a "curse" and more like a "blessing".

Knowing how I prefer to live my life on my own, makes it easier to decide how another person will compliment my life, rather than "make my life".

I've never given myself the time to learn these things. In the past I thought I had it all figured out, but now I know who I am "on my own".

And even though, years back, I'd have rather been in a relationship than be single, as always, the universe gives us what we need, and not what we want.

I wouldn't trade these past few years of being single for anything. Something that seemed so scarey, turned out to be a blessing!

I have accomplished so much, because I was forced to. I had nothing else to focus on besides me, and that has been the best blessing in disguise I've ever had!


Urban Cynic said...

Well said. I think the most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves. You can give anything or be anything to anyone if you don't know who you are in my opinion.

SO many people want another person to 'complete' them - they even call them "my other half" & I can't think of anything worse to be honest, the thought makes me shudder. It's like saying you're not enough by yourself.

I don't like the sacrifices and compromises that come with relationships so have considered that they might not even be for me. I don't know anyone who has the type of relationship that I'd like myself, and I wonder sometimes if people are designed to sustain long-term romantic relationships with each other.

The happiness my pets and friends give me far outweighs the happiness I've ever received from a boyfriend if I'm honest - they're more sustainable as well.

All food for thought anyway! What happened to your Pinterest post and how is little Mr Magoo?

Brianna said...

Just yes to this whole post!

I was scared after living with someone for three years and having another relationship end. It's been over 4 months and now and I am loving single life so much I think I could stay like this forever (which is another kind of scary though haha).

I got a dog and he is now my new roommate and much easier than my ex to live with. It is lovely not needing someone and living life on my own terms for once!

I am glad you are embracing it too. I started reading your blog after my break up and I thought if she can do it I can too!

Fizzgig said...

urban cynic:
so true. I sometimes think that the most perfect relationship would be one where we dated and lived apart. lol it's so hard to imagine going back to sharing my space with another person. thanks for asking, i inadvertantly drafted my pinterest post, i republished. and my mr magoo is fantastic! he's got a whole new burst of energy without rotten teeth!!

oh yea, dogs are way better roomates, they want nothing more than to make you happy..whats better than that? and thank you, it is nice to know when other people go thru similar things and also come up on the other side better than they were before! it's inspiring!

Teena in Toronto said...

I loved being single and had planned on staying that way. But you never know who comes into your path and changes your plans.