Last Will and Testament....

By now, you all know Madonna is touring. *Angels sing* The last time she came to Ohio, was 1987. I was 12. I was at the very beginnings of my love for Madonna, lace bows in the hair, o-ring bracelets, talking mom into dressing as her for Halloween. (I'll never forget when Mom took me to several stores to find the glittery bracelets...she's a good Mom)

Do you think I got to see her in concert? Hell no. The handful of times she has toured to nearby cities in PA, or NY, no one would spend the money for a ticket...let alone a trip out of town, and overnight stay.

Sure, I own all her movies, and concerts, and pretend I am there. I take the time to learn the dances to the songs, and have spent countless hours in front of the mirror acting them out. I mean, who doesn't do that where their icon is concerned?

Now, at 36, my time has come. I have a friend prepped and ready to get on the gravy train with me. She was threatened by her husband that she better not spend that much money on a ticket. But she didn't care!

I am going to utilize my fan club status, to attempt pre-sale tickets at the second highest price. If all goes well, and I am successful in getting tickets..... I just might die.

Furthermore, it is at the arena where my company has a suite. I doubt I get free the free tickets, but with tickets, also come free upgrade passes. And if I play my cards right, I may just get to see her from about a hundred yards.

Then? I will likely die.

In that instance, I leave all my Madonna memorabilia and music to Nichole, the only chick cool enough to see her with me. The stipulation is she can never sell anything.

My journals, are to be snatched up instantly by my friend Katie, who will know what to do with them, after re-living all our childhood memories together, and laughing at the later years as well.*

The cats go to Katrina.

Magoo goes to Gramma, along with the Fusion.

My sister gets all my amazing buddha decorations (including the ones I stole from her on my vacation), my dream book and the disgusting amount of jewelry I have purchased from work. (With the exception of the diamond ring I bought myself, because no man ever would...this should be placed on my cold dead finger!)

Everything else can be sold to pay off the taxes I still owe for living in a podunk town for 5 years, and having to pay an extra income tax.

Don't be too sad, I will have died a happy, and fulfilled girl. (but you should still totally cry at my funeral)

*Proceeds from any publishing of my lifes work should be used to build an animal sanctuary