"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Because Everyone Loves Wine, and Medals!...

Firstively, I have bestowed the greatest honor upon my largest Buddha statue at home. He gets the sacred honor, of donning my Akron Marathon medal. I know it is safe with him, and I can glance at it whenever I want while I'm watching TV.

I say stupid things to him like "oh, Hi Buddha, how's my medal? Good? Great!" and "Lookin good Buddha!" So, I'm a little weird, but that's what is so endearing about me.

In other news, I have been preparing for my mega wine and cheese girls night blowout at the old homestead. I havn't had a girls night in so long, so why not pair it with the universe's greatest gifts to us...wine, and um...CHEESE! And I will be seeing some girls I havn't seen in ages! Girls....you all know how important this is!

I am so excited to have everyone bring their favorite wines, and favorite cheeses, while I provide my bomb-ass home made macaroni and cheese, and of course....while I do so much enjoy many other wines....the Moscato is my weekly drink. And I feel I owe it some sort of homage in the grand scheme of tasting new wines. I might also include a favorite from my most favorite winery, White Lies.

I have spent countless hours preparing the perfect music list for our perfect girls night. I. Can. Not. Wait!!!

The evening is going to be ended, by tripping the light fantastic (or cutting a rug, if you will) at our favorite local gay bar, where they are a simple $3 cab ride away, play the best music, have the best service, and pour the BEST vodka soda's, combined with most fabulous crowd that lets you enjoy your night without feeling like you are on display. (except for maybe the appreciation of how cute your outfit, or wristlet is!)

The night will end with the late-night viewing of Brides Maides, and the 40 Year Old Virgin.
For the ladies who have had a little too much fun.....the cherry on the cocktail is a sleepover. Where I hope that no one spends the evening puking, because I only have one toilet. Upstairs.

Other than that.......... I'm so psyched!

Girls just wanna have fun!

Monday, September 26, 2011

I wore my Medal all day!...

This is my, "I've been up since 5 am, no poop in two days, boobs smashed, sweat in the contacts all morning, 52 degrees, walking all over the marathon route to meet my relay partners all day so my feet hurt, and then and sweating and sweating some more since I did have more clothes on, and having 4 beers, but look I got a medal so it's all good" look.

How did I do? I ran at a 10.8 mile an hour pace. This is a good outdoor speed for me. I started with the 11:17 pace group, and ended up leaving them after the first mile. I wish I'd have done more miles. Because I felt pretty bad-ass, especially when I smoked people running uphill!

Next, I'm doing a half marathon in November. Who'da thunk? The exciting part about it is that it's at a winery. (mmm wine!) Stomp the Grapes! The very same winery I had my first date with exassholemanfriend at, and a couple subsequent dates with said asshole, and have been avoiding like the plague.

So, in the spirit of being awesome, and moving on with my life, I am going to make a new memory. Maize Valley will go from "where I first met that asshole and had the most amazing first date ever, and then he later ripped out my heart" to "where I ran my first half marathon, and then got drunk off free wine".

The latter sounds way better anyways. Everyone loves free wine!

Friday, September 23, 2011

If You're Gonna Be the Poster Child....

At bootcamp a fellow camper referred to me as "the poster child". This is probably because I've been in the spotlight on the website forever, (I'm kind of a celebrity......) and I'm the only success story in a while.

But mostly it's cus during a step class I grabbed 4 risers, (and a boot camp step class is nothing like your ordinary run of the mill aerobic step class either!!!) and I tried to get everyone else to follow suite. "C'mon guys you can do it!!" No one did it. They all left me hangin.

But, I made it. And while my entire body was wet, and my instructor pointed out at the end that I look like I had jumped in a pool fully dressed.....it mad me choose 4 risers for every step class thereafter, and have the most amazing sense of accomplishment!

I guess if you are going to be a poster child for something, its better to be one for fitness, than say....crack cocaine. Or, depression.

Speaking of success. I recently had my annual physical. The Dr. was so enthusiastically impressed with my weight loss success, that she talked to me for half an hour. Ok, so she was an hour and 20 minutes late for our appointment, but still...whens the last time you got half an hour with your Dr. simply chatting? Hmm.?

She told me I'm at a perfect weight. I told her I want to lose 10 more lbs. because I want to be able to maintain by only working out 5 days a week. Like normal people. (currently you remember, I'm working out an hour and a half, six days a week.....no way I can do this forever) My knees no longer creak. My feet don't ache. My back no longer hurts. My neck doesn't crack 10 times a day. I'm a whole new me!

The best, best, best part, was when she moved me in my chart from "obese" to "average". I thought it was bad-ass to move from morbidly obese to obese a year ago, but now I'm only 4% body fat away from being in the "fitness category". FITNESS and ME in the same sentence!! WHAT?!!!

I kinda wanted to cry. I havn't been "average" since my very early 20's. And I doubt I've ever been deemed "fit".

Hi! I'm Fizzgig, and I'm....AVERAGE!

Well, this average girl is running her first marathon tomorrow. I'm doing the Akron Road Runner Marathon. (in a relay!) And, enjoying beer and pizza afterwards with my awesome running group and relay team that pushes me on outdoor runs every week! Aaaand.... I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be wearing my medal all weekend. I might even sleep in it.

Monday, September 19, 2011

How Communication helps...

Things are still going well with TDH. But it's kinda like he is a friend I like to make out with on occasion.

It's hard telling if I am just comparing the spark I had with exmanfriend to the lack of an instant spark with him. Sometimes I don't like to give things a chance. Sometimes I get so caught up in "meant to be" and forget just living in the moment.

I'm good at that. Mostly because the last time I was in love I got burned. Alive. At the stake. With some added fuel. While the burner pointed and laughed.

TDH is moving alot closer in a couple of weeks. It doesn't seem to excite me, I'm just not that into him I guess?

Where this goes, only time will tell. In the meantime though...I vow to enjoy dating. To stop trying to make everything fit into a perfect little box. Let myself like someone. See where things go. Let loose. If he turns out to be an asshole, not like it's something new to me, right? If it turns into more, bonus! I'm not married. I'm not yet an old haggard cat lady. I'm in the best time of my life, and I just need to go with it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Off the Sauce...

It occurred to me today, that it would have been my 15 year anniversary with my ex husband, and 20 years together. Why do I care? I don't, it just occurred to me is all. Its been over for 12 years.

It's been 3 days with no wine. And..considering what's been going on at work (turns out I hired someone who has simply done nothing but cause problems) the past few weeks, this is an accomplishment! I had been drinking every day. A whole bottle of wine. A regular bottle? No, the big ones.

I think my liver thanks me, as does my bank account, and certainly, the scale since it's been a few weeks since its moved anywhere. I feel like I wasted that time, and I could have easily been to my 10lb goal by now.

Instead of working out to eat, I have been working out to drink. I have to admit, working out to drink is way more fun. And you can sleep just fine when you've downed a bottle of wine.

On the other hand, I have had a blast clothes shopping. My credit card is on fire. I never enjoyed it before, but when you try things on and you don't hate the way they fit, its hard to put them back on the rack...I also realized that no matter what size you are, they never have your size. I always thought there were only smaller sizes. Now, there are only larger sizes.

My favorite purchase was a size 6 pair of jeans....with...wait for it....a BELT! I don't remember the last time I wore a belt. And I certainly never wore a size 6, that's for sure!

I have still been lunging around the house, trying to fix the derrier, and have seen progress, so if you want a firmer butt, walk-lunge around the house!

I still havn't totally blown off the guy I was seeing because it turns out I'm a chicken shit, and I'm no good at letting people down. I thought he'd just go away if I ignored him but it turns out I'm too awesome to forget. But...I'm working on it.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

It's a Small Drunk World After All..

Tonight I trekked it down to my local Circle K to buy cigarettes, and a nice bottle of Moscato, for my Friday night enjoyment. (Firstly, I'm helping my fancy friend pass out literature at our alma mater football game on Friday, cus she is running for council!) And...when I get home on a Friday night, I need Moscato.

When I hear a loud voice....."You've lost weight since I saw you last" .

I think, who the hell knows me here? This can't be good! I live in a sketchy neighborhood!

I turn to the counter, and I see her.

You remember, how I got a DUI last September. Among maaaany other things I had to go to jail. You don't want to get a DUI in Ohio people. If I am good for nothing else in this world, I should be a shining example to you all. One drink is too many. Even a sip of alchohol, is enough to land you in a heap of trouble in our glorious state. You don't think it is but trust me, I went to jail. I heard everyone's stories! I had the laws shoved down my throat for days.

I don't know many people who follow that no drink and drive rule, but if you got a DUI you'd think the same thing!

So anyway, I turn around, and oh yes, it registers instantly, there behind the counter sporting a red Circle K shirt, is a girl I was in jail with. Jail!!!

I said "OMG, yes, I have, look, I'm here I am buying alchohol"! (laughter)

She told me how she gave up drinking and is now smoking pot. Ok, cus I think that whole under "the influence" also pertains to drugs. We were locked up with a girl who was driving on vicoden, so ummmm.....yea. Good luck with your new found substance there lady!

Hello, universe, I get that you may want to remind me not to drink and drive, but unless people go out within a 10 mile radius because the cab rides cheap, or, if a cute boy drives me *wink*, I am like George Thorogood, and I drink alone. Yea, with nobody else. It's pretty sad actually. I might cry myself to sleep tonight.

Jail girl also happens to live on my street. Talk about a small world after all.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Calling Jane Fonda...

Forrest Gump is an inspiration. Wherever he went, he was running!

I'm doing the "wherever you need to go in the house, you will do walking lunges to get there" experiment.

It is necessary, as currently, my tailbone is floating aimlessly between two jello pads which use to be my tight buns. My pants hold my butt together, and I sort of float in there on an air pad. It's the strangest sensation, to float around in your pants, and it's something I can't explain properly, but it is very troublesome. It's just like sitting on a balance ball all day.

I feel like "what about bob" only instead of baby stepping places, I'm lunging.

If nothing else, I will drink less wine, because lunging for a refill isn't nearly as appealing. I've been running miles, bootcamping, and adding inclines on the treadmill. I have to find something more!

What are your tried and true butt exercises?

It's not merely asthetics, I'm uncomfortable!

Friday, September 02, 2011

Throw out all your rocks, I saw Apollo 18!...

I collect rocks. I read once that having an attraction to rocks has to do with your past lives, and places those rocks may have been with you in another time. Whatever, I pick them up when I go places, and I have a lot. I like the round smooth ones, that stack nicely on a shelf.

I'm afraid of my rocks now. Because I went to see Apollo 18.

Mind you, I had a long standing love affair with the show Lost. That never told me where they were, or why there were polar bears, or what that smoke monster in the woods was. I didn't care. I watched each episode intently, more than once, peicing together how each episode had to do with another one. Looking for clues. Drooling over Dr. Shephard. I love that sort of thing.

Apollo 18 doesn't hand you a plot. Or great cinematography. Or thrills. I mean, it's a couple dudes in a space ship on the moon back in the 70's.

I should insert here, that I hate aliens. They scare me.

Apollo 18 stressed me out, the way that movie "Buried" with Ryan Reynolds stressed me out. A man, buried alive in a coffin w/a lighter, a cell phone, and a government that betrays him. Or the way that "Frozen" did, a few kids stuck on a ski lift for days. Seriously people, these things can happen to you!!

I don't need to be handed a story. I like to make my own deductions. Draw my own conclusions. Try to figure out if its aliens, or a disease. If the government would really send people to the moon to communicate with aliens, knowing they are deadly. I live for the stuff.

So, I spent the movie with hands over mouth. Squealing, swatting my girlfriend, jumping, and having heart palpatations from being startled, and saying "what IS that?" "OH MY GAAAAWD!!!" and "don't go out there!!!"

But if you don't like to get lost in a movie, and would rather say "this is so not real" you will just think this is boring, and stupid, and a movie about home videos on a space ship. You won't be afraid that astronauts have gone to the moon and brought back MOON rocks. Or....are they?

I havn't read a more interesting review of the movie than mine. I'll be awaiting my financial reimbursement, Apollo 18 makers.

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Happiness is...

Happiness is...

Buying a tank top with a built in bra, and actually being able to wear it as intended....without a bra, and your boobs don't weigh the top down so all your cleave hangs out!

It's a wonder what you miss your whole life when you carry extra weight around.

Man! I feel like a woman!