"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Friday, July 15, 2011

Can You Take Classes on Being Smooth...?

Week 16. I got by with a 2lb loss this week, which is a squeaker. I blame it on wine, specifically Moscato....and the beautiful voice it has when it calls to me to drink it during the week.

Anyway, this brings me to an even 55lb loss!

I'm averaging 3.4lbs a week. Respectable. I do however, need to start sacrificing a couple of cardio workouts and putting in more weights and toning, to fix the damage that years of being fat has done to my body. Which doesn't help my self esteem. I look great in clothes, but I don't love me naked just yet.

I'm horribly shy when it comes to boys. I caught that cute security guard turning around to check me out again today after he passed me. How's the girlfriend working out for you? I think he liked my new jeans. If I was the least bit a regular girl, I'd have the balls to ask him that myself. In the great words of that crackhead Whitney Houston.....How will I ever know if he really loves me? I'd try to phone but I'm too shy --can't speak!

I'm paralyzed by his hotness.

This past weekend I hit up chipotle. (in an effort to be a healthy cheater, I skipped the rice, cheese, sour cream, and GUACAMOLE and added extra lettuce, and salsa to my chicken bowl. I would personally suggest just not having chipotle because it wasn't nearly the same....)

While waiting to order, and pick up my food, I felt a cute boy checking me out. I caught his eye and got immediately terrified and looked away. Then, I felt him looking at me, and I told myself not to turn in that direction, act invisible.

Really? How the hell do I plan on ever meeting the future Mr. Me when I have no flirting skills at all? I mean it goes further than just strangers, I was nervous to even call my exassholemanfriend on the actual phone. I had to talk myself into it. What, the fuck is my problem?

With that said, I have a date tomorrow. It's a second date, and if I don't hear wedding bells, its the last with him. I don't have time for these shenanigans. I'm doing these horrible random dates to get use to talking to people, but I don't enjoy it. I have one for next weekend with someone else, and after that I'm on hiatus again.

Until someone excites me. I seem to be accepting dates with people I feel superior to, and don't really like. Why? I'm probably afraid of rejection.

For me to find someone that makes my heart pitter patter, I need to learn to make a first move and talk to boys that I actually like, and have an attraction to.

Universe, give me some go-go gadget mojo! Stat!

1 comment:

Sandra said...

I read you and I think that you're so lucky to be out looking for a Mr.Me. Once you're married, it's no fun at all...sigh...don't tell my husband I said that.
Mind you, if I was single, I wouldn't know the first thing about flirting since all the men I've ever met was at Ladies Night at the bar, and sadly a few of the details are fuzzy.