A Post Father's Day Post...

That's me and my Dad...when times were good. Mom and Dad were still married then. I would guess I was like around 5. We are holding our first harvest onion. What a 'beaut'!

I lost my dad when I was 25. He had an aneurysm. Just like that, one day (April fools day to be exact) he was out of my life.

My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 8, and I was never particularly close with my dad after that. He was always there for us whenever we asked, but we usually had to ask. I went through a period in my pre-to early teens when I felt like he didn't love me. My Mom made us talk about it, and as awkward as it was, I guess it helped.

When I got older I started to make a valid effort to get to know my Dad as an adult. I tried to just go and hang out with him and like...watch football...which I just love. (total lie) Just to spend time with him.

You never get over losing a parent. Whether you are close to them or not...it is the way you came into this world, and the person you had as a role model. The person you were most connected with. And you are always envious of people who still have both their parents.

I am very thankful that even though I didn't get to spend the day with my Dad, I still have my Momma. We spent the day together shopping, and having lunch.

From my Dad I got my work ethic, and my drive to do better. I always wanted to be the best sibling, so I tried really hard. He taught me to always make a better drive time than the last time I took any trip...and how to check my oil, my tire pressure, and how to fix a toilet that won't stop running.

I hope everyone got to enjoy a special day with their Dad's on Sunday, and if you didn't I hope you got to remember, and honor him in your own special way.

Gone, But Not Forgotten...

I don't talk much about my Dad.

He left this earth on April Fool's Day, 2000 at the age of 52. I was on my way to a comedy show with a group of friends when my brother called to tell me the news. I accused him of playing an April Fool's Day prank on me.

I can't imagine how hard it was for him to have to be the one to deliver that message, only to have me not believe him.

Aneurism. He was in great health, he had just had a bunch of tests done to be on the fire brigade at his work, where he was a plumber for Loral. (Formerly, Goodyear Aerospace) He mowed the lawn, and collapsed in the bathroom while getting a shower.

Just like that, someone can leave this earth. No warning.

Mom and Dad were divorced for 16 years when he died, and we only saw him on weekends until we were old enough to drive. Most of this is thanks to his hasty re-marriage to a woman whom I unaffectionalty refer to as "the step-monster".**

Thankfully a year before he passed, I started making an akward effort to go and spend time with him, even if it was just watching an Ohio State game (ugh, football!!), mostly in silence,  or talking about our dogs.(I got a Shih-Tzu because he had one)

Just days before he passed, I had borrowed a plumber's snake for my toilet, and I had visited him to return it. It wasn't much, but I was pretty grateful later on, that my toilet had clogged so badly.

Even though we weren't close, he was my Dad, and losing him at 23 was one of the hardest things I had to go through this far in life.

When my husband left me, he paid off  my car, my utilities, and even gave me a few mortgage payments to help me out. My Dad wasn't good with words, or showing love, but he always took care of us.

I miss him every day, and am secretly jealous of people who still have both of their parents alive on this earth. You don't know until it's too late, that it can all be gone in a flash.

Hug your Dad's today, and say whatever you are not saying to him. You will be glad that you did.

**Stepmonster footnote**. When my dad died, he had the veterans at his funeral since he was in the Navy. They did the whole rifle shooting, and flag folding ceremony. My Mom called stepmonster before the funeral to ask if my brother (his only SON!) could have the flag that was on my Dad's casket and she replied "No! I'm the wife!!"

She only wanted the attention to be on her. They didn't have kids together. My brother deserved that part of my father's memory, which since we have never seen or heard from her again, is now gone forever.

The day after the funeral? Stepmonster called us (his KIDS) to come go thru all his things, which she had all piled into the spare bedroom. Whatever we didn't take she was getting rid of.

Monster, indeed!