"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Sunday, August 24, 2014

On Realizing you really CAN let your ex go!...

So I had plans with exmanfriend to go see a band. I have seen him from time to time over the years after our break up. Yet,  I'm still "dating". Dating is what people who aren't in relationships do!

Exmanfriend had to cancel our plans the night before. We did talk about how we have been in contact over the years, and I mentioned how I never felt that he made any grand gesture to claim me, or try to get me back (for lack of better terms) and we did make plans to get together again the next time we were both available.

Being a single gal, not wanting to spend a Saturday night alone, I made other plans for that night  I planned to see the movie with a girlfriend because we both read the books, and I was available now!

Next morning, I had a text from exmanfriend way before I woke up it said he felt better and could our plans still go on, but if not, no big deal. The next text said something cryptic about opening my front door slowly, which didn't register. I was just honest and text him I had made alternate plans.

This morning I was rushing off to meet someone new for coffee.

When I opened my door, to rush off for my coffee date, there was a boquet of flowers!! First thing I think is...what the heck? Did I tell coffee guy where I lived, and if so, should I be meeting him after this?.

I'm halfway to Starbucks in the car when it occurs to me that exmanfriend mentioned something about opening my front door slowly. And I think...did he actually make the effort to bring me flowers? (he never got me flowers while we were dating so I was thinking...it was adorable)

So I sent him a text before I arrived..."did you come over here?" And he said no, why do I ask? So then I think, then who left me flowers? Maybe it wasn't him? If it was, why not say so?

Being courteous, I didn't check my phone on my date.

While I had a close to 7 hour phone conversation with coffee guy the previous night, the whole time of our meeting I was thinking..."do I want him to kiss me?" and the answer was No! So, the chemistry wasn't there for me at all. I was glad that I had plans with a girlfriend, and a reason to cut out early.

Upon leaving...I read a text message sent only about 20 minutes after the last one from exmanfriend, that bottom line said, that he knew I had moved on, and to delete his number, and he would delete mine.


After the fact, there is a billion things I wished I'd have said, and still want to say but wont.

My only response could be that I would honor his request. And he thanked me.

I never got a real confirmation on where the flowers came from, not like there are a million options,  but I  I am enjoying them, they are beautiful! Girls love flowers!

Wouldn't it be nice if all it took was deleting a phone number to make you forget about someone?

In the end..just like that, in a matter of hours, he showed me that still after all of these years, he cannot commit to me. Sure, he'd been showing me for years, but I only wanted to hold on to the way that he was super good at pretending that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, all the while skeeving around behind my back.

I didn't want to remember that he really crushed my heart.

Lucky for me, I finally have the closure I have always needed!


Debbie @ Live from La Quinta said...

Yikes! Halfway through reading I was going to say turn and run like the wind. It looks like that won't be necessary though.

I do think though, and I'm sorry but I'm being frank, that it is the best thing. He has hurt you so many times over the years, and I know you remember the good stuff, and can hope that it would all be good stuff, but seriously, think about what he just did in the last couple days.

Sorry, it's not even my place, but I hate to see you get hurt again by this man.

Fizzgig said...

it took this for me to see what everyone else did...so i can totally embrace your comment. It is not normal to go from one extreme to another in such a short amount of time. And, it's happened a lot, but i always explained it away. It's obviously what i needed!

Urban Cynic said...

Glad it's not just me. Men are weird aren't they? x