"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Remember when I said "i want to find my someone I can't live without?"

Maybe I wish I didn't get what I asked for. Cus living without someone you cant live without hurts.

I am confused. I'm tired of crying. I don't know how someone can talk to you about love and wanting to be together. But not know how to work through the issue we have. Together.

He's gone back and forth, and the truth is I need to decide what I want. Do I want to hold on to a glimmer of hope that he will want me? Wait, he wants to be with me and sees a future for us but he cant be with me cus we aren't together enough.

Its hard to get past this. I know he made a mistake and he will realize it one day but that doesnt stop the hurt.

I want to move so much to forget the memories we made there. I cant go on hoping, I told him we are going to work it out, or we're not. No in between with me. I can't take a break and start fresh.

I can't be away from the person who feels like my heart.

I think its stupid.

And selfish.

And undeniably painful. The problem with having such a deep love is the deep pain. I was never ever as happy as I was with him. And he sure fooled me.

There is something more to it. You don't leave what we had for a reason that can be fixed. We don't want to chang each other. It's geographical.

Unless you are completely stupid.

I think its not you its me, is the oldest one in the book. And I wasn't born yesterday.

If there is more, I would love to know. Getting thru this would be so much easier.

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