"C" is for Cat...Screw Cancer!...

I've been real busy lately. Mostly, with laying around, not running, and feeling every pound pack on because I fractured a toe slamming it in my back door. After two weeks, I did successfully run 3 mostly non-deathcon level pain miles twice. I can't give in to it, I can't stop eating food. 

When I am old and sick, I hope someone parks me in front of the birds!

In between all of that awesomeness, I've been micro-managing my cat. Analyzing every move she makes...even if she's made it her whole life, for some reason now...I find it to be cause for alarm. Reason 435,679 I don't have kids. 

She's been to the vet weekly since her diagnosis. She had to go back for a weigh in (she gained a POUND!) and a med check. The prednisone is already helping the inflammation in her intestines from the cancer. 

I started her on weekly B12 shots, and kitty vitamin treats. 

The outcome has been favorable. I trusted the vet on the "b12 and vitamins can only help her at this point" and just did it. She explained how no one tests cats for vitamin deficiency, and while it won't cure her cancer, it can help with her being old, and her intestinal issues. 

I won't say she is a brand new cat, but since starting this she has had more energy. Instead of latching on and climbing up things, she is jumping again. Instead of taking the stairs one at a time, she's jogging. (do cat's jog?) 

She isn't cured, let's face it...it's cancer. But every day I get with her feeling good is a plus for me! It doesn't help the overwhelming guilt that I feel over losing her brother in April for the exact same symptoms. I try to tell myself he didn't respond well to the treatment, and she is just a different cat. 

And...just so you don't think I forgot about my adorable pups, they have been getting out to the parks as well!

After a year (we just celebrated his gotcha day), Bohannon went in the water with Mr. Magoo...

More Pinterest Crafting...and Pictures of the Furkids..

My latest Pinterest project is a pet bed made out of an old sweater!! Easy, peasy!

It is a first draft, and will only be improved upon...but this is a half off thrift store sweater $1.50 turned into a snuggley pet bed!

Mr. Magoo approves

Fizzgig approves

Pickachu approves

And it's perfect for two (Fizzgig and Pickachu)

Bonus shot.. Mr. Magoo has made a full recovery. Here he is tuckered out from play and cat chasing!

Honorary mention..Fozzie, she  hasn't gotten on the bed bandwagon, but she deserves to be pictured with the rest of the furkids...

Mom helped me with this, and tried to show me how to work her sewing machine, which turned out to not be the best way to make this bed. I got the job done with a darning needle and crochet thread in no time! I do however, need to continue the sewing machine lessons. I don't remember a damned thing from Home ec classes....it was only 20 years ago. 

Keeping Busy...

I've been trying to keep busy since my kitty died. By that, I mean, mostly spending hours on pinterest looking for stuff to do with the crap I have, not cleaning, hitting the gym, drinking wine, and painting found furniture.

It sounds way better in pictures...

I found a better display for my medals and race bibs, that can be extended as the collection grows.

Much like I have been imbibing in more wine than usual, I've been getting the cats high too, they like to forget their pain as well.

I hung an old ladder on my wall that I've had laying around forever holding afghans.

I'm growing my toy soldier army, and for September I won 5 competitions at boot camp, I'm hoping for a win for the entire month! At least I'm still working out!

I helped a bff hang blinds in her new apartment, without no stinkin man.

I repainted my trash find coffee table from white to black.

This use to be white too...

Fizzgig helped me out, by laying on the cardboard I had to protect the carpet...while the black paint was still wet. Black bellied kitty didn't enjoy a bath at all.

Cat-Tastrophe...

Mr. Magoo kept a close watch on Miss Tai during her last night at home. 

Tai only made it two days, until her mouth was affected by paralyis, and she couldn't eat, or comfortably close her mouth properly. She purred the whole time we were at the hospital. I waited until she was gone to bawl my eyes out, I wanted so much for her last moments in this world to be peaceful, and comforting. She deserved that much.

I am very lucky to have such great friends. After laying Tai to rest at my Momma's, one of my bff's came over with a bottle of wine, and a box of beautiful chocolates from Lily Chocolates in Tremont. She got me to laugh, and forget about reality for a while. Where would we be without girlfriends?

This whole time, I was not only dealing with onset of Tai's illness, and her death, I also noticed another of my cats, 14 yo Fizzgig, was hanging around the water bowl an awful lot. Amisdst all the Tai vet visits, she was also whisked to the vet for a battery of tests. I couldn't imagine losing two furkids at the same time!

Poked, prodded, and voilated, Fizzie was not happy..

The good news is a urinalysis uncovered she had no diseases, and it was just a UTI. Phew!

She got an antibiotic shot and we were on our way. I thought it was pretty sweet, a shot that lasts two weeks, and NO PILLS!!

When the lab opened on Monday, my vet called to tell me her infection is in fact, bacterial and she needs to take a different pill for two weeks.

Q: Who likes to pill a cat? A: Nobody!

You think I'm stupid, lady? I ain't eating this shit!

After doing the kitty burrito and still getting bit, the next day I smashed the pill up to a fine powder. Then, I mixed it with half a can of albacore tuna, and all the juice, and spun it thru the food processor. Then I warmed it in the microwave. Smelled deliciously fishy to me!

Fizzgig sniffed it and gave me the "fuck you" face you see in the above picture. I tried to force her to eat the tuna...eh....no!

I knew that a cat was too smart to be fooled. But I had high hopes! So...I'm back to pilling the cat, and keeping band aid in business.

It's been such an emotionally draining week. On top of the sadness of the furkids, I've incurred a pretty hefty veterinary bill, that I simply cannot afford. Luckily, I qualified for Care Credit, and my awesome landlord is going to hold my rent check a few days until my next pay day.

I've had enough kitty drama for a while. Now, I am going to focus on my next race in a month, and try to get back to ordinary life!

When Cat's Break Your Heart....

I got Miss Tai Ming in 1997. Three years after I graduated. I mean, I was still married back then!! I found her in the paper for $60! A small price to pay for 16 years of unconditional love!

She's been a pinnacle of health. Her one and only trip to the vet was to get spayed.

Never a sniffle. Never an infection. Not an itch....Not a bad tooth in her mouth. Easiest cat in the world!

When I returned from vacation the beginning of September, I could tell she was just different.

At first, I thought she was being the normal cat. You know, pissed off at me for leaving for a week, and giving me the cold shoulder. Then an entire day went by and it occurred to me..."I haven't seen Tai today".

Now, she's always been a loner. The other three cats are family, and inseperable, but Tai always made her presence known. She would visit, and she loves to talk, as any respectable siamese mix would!

In just two short weeks, she took a rapid decline, she started hiding more than usual. And since she usually hid most of the time, and I have three other cats...it took me a while to notice she obviously hasn't been eating, she's lost weight! And then I noticed that her coat wasn't so pretty anymore.

I just knew something was very wrong.

A trip to the vet revealed that she also had partial facial paralysis...the left side of her face wasn't responding to touch. Her left eye was blind. And she couldn't blink. She was very dehydrated. Eating was likely difficult for her because of the paralysis.

None of her symptoms pointed to any one thing, and her blood work revealed nothing. Without a CT scan (which I inclined not to do on my 16 year old cat) the vet's best guess was that she had likely suffered a stroke recently.

After IV fluids, and lots of tears, I took Miss Tai home with me. I got her to eat some fancy tuna fish, but not much. It's hard to eat with partial paralysis.

I will only have a few days left with my precious little kitty. Once she decides that even eating delicious tuna is too much for her, I have to let her go.

I have had to make that awful choice for a few of my pets in my lifetime. You always wonder what if...and you never forget how hard it was to do.

But me and Tai had the joy of caring for each other for 16 years! I can't imagine the amount of tears she's soaked up in her fur from all that life has tossed my way, from job losses, to lost loves. She was there with me for the vast majority of my life's events! She knows all my deepest secrets!

She's always been a staple in my life...."My Tai"  I like to call her.....

I am lucky to have had her for so long, and I am going to shower her with extra love over the next few days.

Hug your pets a little tighter tonight.

You just never know when their time is up!

Cats Are Assholes....

We had such a beautiful weekend in NE Ohio. I spent time digging up a flower bed out back, and getting my bird feeders, and bird bath in place.

I have an enclosed back porch, so my 14yo (favorite...shhh) cat Fizzgig sat at the doorway and enjoyed watching all the bird activity.

Around 10pm I thought...I havn't seen Fizzgig in a while. I searched the usual sleepy/hidey spots the cats have.. no Fizzgig.

Panic ensued.

Did she escape when I wasn't looking?

I didn't sleep all night. I was up every hour looking for her in the basement, and any other room, equipped with my whisker lickins bag...even out in the yard calling for her. No go....she was missing.

When I finally had to start getting ready for work, I remembered how about 6 or so years back, Fizzgig had escaped for a week, and after flyers, and "cat traps" she showed up right outside of my garage. So I went to my trash can outside my back door, and kicked the can, and what should emerge? Fizzgig.

Yea, I'm pissed at you for letting me escape all night. 

I'm glad my miss Fizzy was found quickly, but I didn't sleep. And now she's pissed at me because she escaped and didn't come back in on my many trips to the yard to find her. 

Fizzgig lives with 3 other cats 1 of which is horribly mean, and violent. She doesn't understand mean-ness. She's just an adorable orange-tabby persian. She knows nothing but love and pampering. I feared for her well-being all night. 

The bottom line is....cat's are freaking assholes! 

A Non-Conventional Family Album...

I am the girl at the office that whenever she is faced with pictures of someones baby, swiftly whips out photos of her own family....meaning, the furkids. I may not have given birth to them (thank gawd, that process terrifies me) But I still love them to pieces, and worry about them much like Mother's of human kids do.

So, I am sharing pictures of the whole family in one single post! 

You know Mr. Magoo...aka "Goodlebug". My shih-poo puppy mill rescue that has turned me into an anti-puppy mill machine with his adorable face, and sweet nature. Who could ever neglect a dog with a face like this?

Tai Ming. aka "tyrone biggins". She is my oldest cat at 15 years. She was an accident with the breeder, and is a burmese/himalayan mix that should have never been. She was raised with a monkey that carried her around like a baby. True story!! (supposedly tai ming means the monkey but I trusted a coworker at my first real job so that may be a lie....it was way before google) She is beautiful, and loves to talk!

Fizzgig. aka "giggenstein". She is 13. (My favorite cat...shhhh...!!!) My doll faced persian. She is named after the identical creature in one of my favorite movies...Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal" (pictured below). I just love this cat, and she is the sweetest, most docile creature in the universe! She is the mother of my next two kitties.

Doesn't the cat Fizzgig look just like me? Yes...the answer is yes...

Pickachu. Aka "Peekums". Son of Fizzgig. He's 12. He is named after that horrid pokemon creature, because he was the tiniest kitten with akward giant ears....just like the character. He is also a doll faced persian mixed with a random cat that his mother ripped out a screen in our home to go bang before she was even spayed. The only boy cat in the clan. Probably the sweetest cat known to man besides his Momma.  He is the resident caretaker in the group, and an excellent snuggler! I love that face!

Fozzie. Aka "Fozzie Bear". She is also 12, and daughter of Fizzgig. She also has the "bastard" lineage of her brother. This cat was the first to come out of the womb (I saw the magic happen!) and grew twice the size of the other kittens by the first trip to the vet. He actually asked me if she was from the same litter she was so ginormous!  I carried this cat around everywhere from birth, and now she is annoyingly sweet, but oh so needy! If there is a hand to be seen, she is forcing her face into it to be petted!

I love these little critters like nothing else, and while I understand peoples love of their children, I find it few and far between that anyone understands that I am just not cut out for motherhood, and that these little creatures need love just as much as human babies do. 

I understand my shortcomings, and I am doing the world a far greater justice by taking care of animals than I would be by having babies. 

Everyone has a purpose on this earth, and I am certain I found mine. 

Inergalactic Planetary....

Everyone likes spooning!

I recently outed myself on facebook.

I post more pictures of my pets than most people do of their kids. (In my defense, my pets are far cuter than most people's kids...just sayin')

Operation, be more social, is on this summer's agenda. Really, I need to get out more!

I've filled up the next month with activities, in an effort to see, and be seen!

A trifecta of animals. I have the most awesome pet society...

Sometimes I wonder why I am still single, because, obviously, hanging out with your pets is pretty sweet right?!

You should watch this amazing rescue video if you love a good story!


P.S. I am not the least bit sad that in a few short weeks, this ragged ass plaid couch from 1990 is leaving my house, and I will have a brand new grown girl's couch in its place. I'm movin' on up!!

I don't wanna die...

I'm really suprised that more people are not completely freaked out about all those dead birds and fish in Arkansas and Louisiana.

I mean, don't you people watch movies? Birds are always the first to die when we are attacked by aliens, or chemicals, or nuclear warheads. And remember how miners would take birds into the mines, and if the bird died they had to hightail it out of there? Birds are kind of important. Maybe I should quit making fun of my mom for having one....(pause for contemplation)...nah, she's still crazy for having a bird.

Havn't you seen The Seventh Sign? The bird flu? Aren't dead blackbirds your first indicator of a West Nile Virus breakout? What about The Happening??? Werent there a bunch of dead blackbirds in the beginning of "The Event" this season???

Ummmmm...yea. I think birds are kind of important. I don't like the BS they are feeding the world about fireworks. Um, why arent there more mass bird deaths in July then? Anyone? Or, the weather, or HAIL or RAIN got them? How many birds do you see flying around out in the freaking rain?

Call me silly but when I was little that was how we knew to go inside from playing when all the birds were gone and the wind picked up. They know its going to rain so they hide assholes. By 'assholes', and 'they', I mean the government who is trying to cover up some big horrible thing that is happening!!!!!

Since I'm well versed in movies and heresay, I also know that there have been many times when the world was ending, and one of the safest places to live was Ohio. I believe even Nostradamus said that.

So, while all the rest of you will be fighting off zombies, and dead birds, I'll be holed up safe and sound in my house. Don't even think about coming to my house and eat my cats either! I wouldn't eat your kids, leave mine alone! Plus they look big and fat but its all hair!

Oh and Pee, ess....holeyfuckingshit did you see that Hurley's numbers from lost were almost the exact mega million winning lottery numbers?????? Did you know that I miss Lost? Sigh.

The Lloyd Dobbler Effect...

So, I'm going along, minding my business. Getting use to the idea that I'll likely be alone until my cats eat my eyeballs out. *Or, the mice overtake my house. I still pine for exassholemanfriend, and it pretty much annoys me, because it's not getting me anywhere. Wishing him back wont make him come back. And why should I wish for someone who obviously doesn't want me?


*(Yes..I have mice again. I've caught two...me two, my four cats...ZERO! They are lucky that they are cute fluffernutters! At least they do that job right.)



And I get a message from exnewguy. Just friendly chit chat. Why? He was overly concerned that we were "OK" after the dumping. I was assuming, just because we have many friends in common. I told him sure, I know we'll run into each other again one day. It's not like we were IN LOVE or anything, so whatever. Yes it hurts and I don't look forward to one day seeing him w/someone else...



But don't boys understand that it's not easy to hear from you once you dump us? Like, don't rip out my heart, and send me a message all about regretting it. Because what does that do? It makes me hurt for what we had all over again. If you wanted to do the right thing, you would get your shit together, and stand outside my window blasting "in your eyes" by peter gabriel on your retro boom box just like Lloyd Dobbler. "I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen" That sums it up.








Yes, that is definatly a signal, that you cannot mix. Especially since I live in an ethnically diverse neighborhood. I'm sure they'd love hearing it just as much as me. I think that like Cinderella ruined most girls, Say Anything ruined me.

Where is my prince charming with a boom box? Oh, I can believe it will happen one day. Because it gives me hope. Instead of a white horse, it'll be a beat up blue hoop-t!

Oh heck no. After friending Lloyd on FB...I was turned on to this video on youtube.

My Happy...

I think everyone should have a pet. Not just because they are fantastical in so many ways, but because they kinda give a single girl purpose.

I can't sleep my life away and be depressed, unless I want poo and pee all over my floors. I gotta get up and take the dogs out.





When your cat jumps up and lays next to you and starts purring when you pet her, it makes you feel needed. Not just for the food and shelter, but for the love you provide.


They make good kleenex for tears, and they never ask if you are "still crying over that jerk who hurt you". They just offer their love and support in a silent way.

And when you don't have kids to raise, or a man to really call your own..it makes you feel good when your "little family" is happy. When they all play nice, and learn new things. When they follow you around ever interested in what you are doing.

Today I'm thankful for that.

I might not even care if I become a crazy cat lady. It just may come to that!

Look at me Neglecting the blog...

I've been doing things like, working too much unpaid overtime (I'm salary so it all adds up in the end) and preparing for bacheloretting, cleaning, and seeing my new guy. Who's quickly climbing to the top as my favorite guy.

We had our first date last week. Yes, we've known each other for years, and have hung out countless times, and had a "cook you dinner" date, but it was our first time going out officially!

He asked what time I wanted him to pick me up, I said pick me up? I'm so not use to that, I told him that's the royal treatment! I havn't been picked up for a date in years! When he came to get me he put me in the car too which is my #1 favorite boy thing to do for a girl. (this is closely followed by petting, and forehead kisses, which I also have been getting!)

I was so nervous, which seems silly, as we've seen each other naked, and talked about everything from religion, to childhood crushes. I just get nervous! But of course, we had a fantastic evening! One of his friends called when we were on our way home, and he said he had to go because he was being rude being on the phone in front of his....(insert my name here) he almost called me his girlfriend.

This past week, he bought me pillows for his house. Which is pretty stinking cute, seeing how I sleep on a cloud of pillowy goodness at home (I have 8 pillows, I sleep with 4) and he has two, what I refer to as "pancake pillows". So, he thought enough of my comfort to buy me pillows.

Then, he came over, just to fix my bed for me on Sunday, because it's been broken countless times (don't ask me how) and finally took a crap when I was making it. He fixed it for real, and I enjoyed every second. I love a man who will rescue a damsel in distress, and knows how to fix things, and cares enough to offer his help, without being asked. *swoon*

The only thing that I wonder about, is the fact that he does not consume my every thought. I mean I really like him. I love hanging out with him, I'm attracted to him, he's super sweet and funny, and never ever complains about my smelly dog, rather says "it's not her fault" (which it isn't!) and isnt a cat person, but still calls my cats by name, has a couple nicknames for them, and lets them lay on his lap. (the way to my heart is thru my pets, obvy)

My Mom says that's because its a normal healthy relationship. I guess I'm not use to it. That, and the fact that it's not really "new", since he's what i affectionatley call a "re-do". He calls it third times a charm. I mean the relationship stuff is new. But we're not new in a lot of other ways.

I'm just rolling with it. Because I am happy where I am. Still seeing my friends and living my life, and having a cute boy who I really like to hang out with too.

I wanna be a billionaire so freaking bad...

So, I should open up a pet sitting business. Seriously.

You know I booked my flight to the beach right? Oh, I havn't mentioned that?

Well you know, the universal law of attraction means, that you are suppose to not worry about things, and just do them, and the universe will make it "how" happen for you. So, once I got the money saved for my flight to see my sister at the beach (girls vacay-shun!!!) I thought oh, the rest will work itself out.

By "rest" I mean... who the hell is gonna watch my 6 pets??

Normally, I had a neighbor to let them out, but I have since moved away and trust no one in my apartment. Or, my Mom would take my dog...however, my evil Mom (hi mom, thanks for the free a/c for my bedroom *smile*!) has opted out this time, and that leaves me with no other choice but to hire a pet sitter. Because, boarding... is even more ridonkulous!

Its going to cost me more to hire a pet sitter than it is to fly my ass to the beach. In the air. On a giant plane, you know, that moves and uses jet fuel and everything, a petsitter costs more!

I have no idea what to do besides start calling in favors from all my friends and maybe try to have to hire a petsitter only a couple of the seven days.

Wish me luck. Cus my tickets are nonrefundable!

In closing, if you want to make a buttload of money, go into the petsitting business. I wish I would've hopped on that train a long time ago!

This group must somehow form a family...

When I was recently listening to a coworker rattle on about how they were having her boyfriends kids fly out for the summer, and how it was going to work out them hanging around with her kid, and who would watch them while they worked, and what would they do for entertainment....my eyes glazed over.

All I could think about was that me and manfriends biggest woe about cohabitating, is our pets.

Of course my kids are perfect. I have a blissful utopia of animal love going on. They wouldn't even kill a mouse (no...really they wont)let alone be mean or bully a new arrival. Getting a new dog didn't phase them.

Manfriend has a cat. Mojo. You may remember I found Mojo in the woods at my old place, and she hated my cats, who acted like they had no idea what hissing was when she hissed at them.

I've successfully intermingled several cats in my lifetime, so I know I can do it. Like most things, it just takes time. Manfriend is really super worried his cat wont be part of the crowd. Thats one of the reasons I love him. He worries about his cats happiness.

See, Mom...a man does love me despite my four cats, stinky dog, and new addition. (Mom always said no one would want to live with me with my menegerie...I held to the idea that the right guy for me would. And, he did)

Patience...

In May, I should be golden with financials. Its such a short wait in the grand scheme of things. I will also get a merit increase, and enroll in our 401k. As of now, I'll be sharing cat food w/my cats when I'm old because I have absolutely no retirement. At least I'll have 40 years to save so I can graduate from cat food to ramon noodles!

Uncle Buck...

I remember one time I got this list of how to poop at work. And described every annoying type of person in the bathroom. Like, the people that just hang out in the bathroom. Or the ones that fix their hair. Its like, get the hell out of here will ya? I have business to take care of.

Cats should have their own list.

I have four cats. But one, without fail, is a lingerer.

I have two huge boxes, for the four cats. Whenever I clean the box, Fozzie, will walk past the room about four times.

"done scooping out my piss and shit yet?"

She is also the one that has to always run 2 steps in front of me and act like she knows what I'm doing. "here I am running into the bedroom. Oh, you're going in the bathroom? (runs in front of me) Here I am to throw myself in front of you on the carpet and show you my belly...purrrrrrr"

She has to be the first to use the toilet after I clean it too, she can't stand it.

My cat also stands up to poop. I tried to get a picture. Does that make me weird? She stands in the corner and poops.

What are your cats quirks?

Gratuitious Cat Photo

Tomorrow Lost is on TV. It's a television event! Three hours of lost! Manfriend is going to come share in the joyous occasion with me. We'll have snacks. It'll be sweet. I happen to have a coworker just as osessed as me.

You know, if I were smart, I would have asked that question when I interviewed people. I'm lucky it turned out this way! I think maybe the island played a part in it....(cue music...)




I made chicken noodle soup from scratch this weekend. (I made my own base and everything) and i used egg noodles, and made spaetzles! YUM! Manfriend ate 4 bowls of it. And said how yummy it was. Maybe I should apply myself more with cooking. I just dont love it.

That's all I have.

So here are some pictures of the three cutest cats in the world. (My cats...duh!)






Fizzgig in the bathtub, where she loves to roll around and cry














Fozzie on my workout clothes trunk. Where she loves to be.











Pickachu, who loves that skanky old bra of mine a little too much. He rolls around with it. Rawr.








Oh, and Pee ess...I had woodchuck cider on draft (or draught, whats the freaking difference?) at the Beer Engine this wekend, and I may have a new favorite drink!

Happiness Is...

Happiness is...

Digging in your purse for change to buy your delicious turkey chili at work...and suddenly screaming, because your cat has deposited a large dead moth in your purse.



(Fozzie in her kitty lounger..)


I saw her last night walking around with it in her mouth, proud as punch that she caught it...and when I'd try to take it from her she'd run.





I guess she decided after all, I did deserve it.





Cats.

Off and Running...

So. Next week is my month end at work. That means its June. Um, hello? Three more months and I've been with my manfriend for TWO years. Where did the time go? I have no clue. I still absolutely adore him, and I thank the universe each night for bringing us together. (Along with thanks for my job, my car, a roof over my head, and my family and friends.)

Speaking of, I was napping Wednesday night (I nap almost every night, I'm telling you I have some sort of defeciency) my phone beeped and I thought it was a text cus I have it set to just beep once either way. It was my ex. Z. The one that calls and leaves me voicemails to pick up cus he calls from a private number.

I had nothing to say to him. He asked was I married. I said no, are you? He said no but he has another kid. I said well good for you, but that doesn't interest me at all. I told him I'm fabulous, and I didn't have anything to say to him. He said he just wanted to see what I was up to.

Why? I honestly never think about him. He never crosses my mind.

Oh wait, I guess when people are talking about sucky things like assholes, and drugs, and abuse, he might come to mind. But I don't think about bad things like that, my life is fabulous.

At work I'm busy. Sparing the boring details, I've been in 18 thousand meetings. I wonder why you have so many meetings the higher up you are in a company? Nothing ever gets accomplished, at the end of the meeting, we decide we'll have another meeting in a week. Meanwhile, my work piles up cus I'm spending so much time in meetings.

This morning:

Coworker: "they didn't have coffee at the grill when I went down (this is a common theme since Eat N' Park took over our food facility they run out of coffee every day! Yes they did put in a Starbucks, but it's like a 5 minute walk to get there) and there was an ambulance out front"

Me: "there's a shocker, an ambulance? What happened?"

Coworker: "so and so cut themselves in the grill, I guess it was pretty bad"

Me: "well, I wouldn't eat downstairs today"

She said she was surpised because I'm always so nice. I have people snowed I guess?

Reason 456,675 I deserve pity.....I tivo'd the Spelling Bee last night. My family cable package is really taking a toll on me. *July 9th can't get here soon enough.

*Big Brother starts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





P.S. I'm trying to win $1000. Which picture should I enter to win the cutest cat contest?

One....

Or two...

Things I find horribly important...

*Reason 235,687 you should help me with my evil plot to slip my manfriend some untraceable homeade rufies, and lock him in my closet...he's a good cook. I mean if the list of things I like about him gets much longer, I might have to start thinking he is a robot created by one of my crazy ex boyfriends as part of their evil plan to steal my soul by sucking me into a happy abyss and then having my manfriend short circuit, leaving me broken hearted.

And, then I'll have to buy a boyfriend pillow. But seriously, I bet if I got one of these, I might be able to sleep in my bed again vs. the couch. Kidding, that's not the part of the manfriend I miss. When they make a spooning manfriend pillow....send me the link.

I swear I don't do drugs.

I want to see the New Kids on the Block at blossom. I think getting drunk on $7 white zinfandel (probably boxed, my favorite) and watching the new kids prance around on stage and do the "oh, oh, oh, oh oh...hangin tough" dance is a killer time! while I scream "donnie i love you!" would be so freaking awesome. The shitty thing is that my friends aren't as cool as me, and no one wants to go. Who wants to adopt me as a friend and take me to New kids? I say take me because obviously, I will need a designated driver. And B) you can't also like donnie. He's mine. Back....off.

Speaking of concerts, and what's mine. Edwin McCain (my future husband) is coming to concert in August. I'm going to take my manfriend, and he will have fun, of course cus it's a killer time. I think it'll be a true testament of his love for me. If he can still love me high on Edwin, then he's totally going to marry me. (don't squash my dreams) You have no idea how hard it is to not buy tickets to this concert until this Friday. I can't use credit. Bad, credit.

Anyone want to adopt me? And by adopt I mean, be my sugar daddy that get's nothing but the satisfaction of calling me his sugar pop? Cus, I'm kinda in love with someone else. Please?

I miss my cable pretty bad. I mean, I don't even have cartoon network. Appartnely, cartoons aren't in gods plan. Because I have god/family tv. Cus its cheap.

Reason 345 I should write a book, someone may deem me god some day when they come across my brilliant writings.And everyone will say what I say is what everyone should do. Kinda like the bible. (unbunch your panties)


Books! I read a book once about a group of girls that murdered a classmate by beating her with a tire iron in the head, stuffing her in the trunk, and setting her on fire. This was during my true crime/Aphrodite Jones phase. The truth is way worse than any fake stuff.

I have to take three cats, single handedly to the vet this weekend at 9 am. On a Saturday? This is blasphemy. I believe in sleeping until at least 11 on a Saturday. Being a single mom is way hard. I don't know how anyone takes human kids anywhere. Especially more than one. I have some serious anxiety over how I'll manage! At least I don't have to dress my cats. Bonus for me. Even though I don't want kids, I think Moms should be sainted or something.

This weekend I watched The Unborn, A Haunting in Connecticut, Bride Wars, The Eschelon Conspiracy (which is a total low budget rip off of Eagle Eye), and Monsters Vs. Aliens. All in my PJ's on a comfy couch with a comfy movie partner. Illegal schmillegal.

*Reason 235,688 would be that I can bribe you with jewelry. Everyone loves diamonds!