Change IS Good...

I got a new trainer at my gym for my boot camp classes. I don't much like change, but I'm trying to embrace it!

Our classes are more challenging, which after a year, we all needed! More faced paced, no fringe, non-stop, awesomeness! She even throws in some tabata classes here and there!

The best part, is that she is also a nutritionist. She gave us the option to submit food journals, for a "prize". She looks them over, and gives us suggestions on what to change. Of course, I jumped on board! I have been stagnant despite 2 a day work outs (runs and boot camp) because I wasn't tracking my food! (I workout all the time, I can eat what I want!!)

After 3 weeks of being back to journaling I'm down 5 pounds!

I'm most excited about the introduction of protein shakes after my workouts. After only one week I can already see my muscle definition!

One week until my 13.1 that I only took 4 weeks to train for. I'll be OK, but I won't be breaking any personal records!

Um, It's Cold...and I Took a Break!....

Freezing temperatures are not good for a frugal gal!! I enjoy keeping my bills cheap, I use the furnace and space heaters to keep my utilities well under $100 a month.

I have way better things to spend my money on!

We had the coldest temps in 20 years, they say. It was in the negatives, with a wind chill of -40 for two days. We had a week break, and then back into the single digits.  Everyone complained, and all the schools were shut down, and no one showed up to work, but through the ashes (ice chips), me and my Ford Fusion still made it through.

I also got back to the gym, and running again after a three week "vacation". (my boot camp instructor likes to say I was off for 4 months) The time off was kind of nice...instead of squats, weights, and cardio, I perfected the art of snuggling under a blanket with some cats, eating comfort foods, and gaining weight. But my clothes told me that this had to come to an end quick!

I paid the price of taking time off in the way of everything hurting, and not being the baddest ass in class. (which I HATE!)  I have also been having mean green juice, the last few days in an effort to flush out all of the crap and sugar I've been ingesting.

I came to the conclusion that green juice tastes best served in a wine glass with an orange wheel garnish! Presentation is everything!

By way of groupon I recruited a few coworkers to join boot camp with me. One girl came one time, and left to throw up half way through class..and refuses to return. It kind of reminded me that this class is not for everyone, and you have to want to improve and be the best. All of us "regulars" have been there, but we came back and got past that point. I mean, I don't know what people think I do in a boot camp class?? Aerobics? I mean, it's called boot camp for a reason! 

And here are my "kids" enjoying the cold weather...

I made new cushions for my cat beds to help keep them toasty...Fizzgig approves..

Mr. Magoo and his kitty brother, Pickachu discovered the best way to stay warm is to snuggle!

Fozzie likes to be on top!

These two don't know they are not related....

Stay warm out there, friends! And don't be like me and use it as a vacation from your fitness! 

My Fitness Journey Video....

I've only been working on completing a video on my weight loss and starting to run,  for close to a year.

I have changed it so many times that I finally had to just ask myself if "self, do you think you are making the next Titanic, or a stupid youtube video".

 When I need inspiration, I love to look for inspiring weight loss, or fitness videos online. Knowing so many other people have made such changes in their own lives always inspires me to keep going.

So if I can inspire just one person, like so many have done for me, all the hours I spent making this less-than-stellar video will have been well spent.

Winning...But Not Like Charlie Sheen...

I wound up being boot camper of the month at my gym! This means I got this sweet award, and my picture was posted on facebook with my trainer. I also won a free class, and best of all...bragging rights.

Not only was I the best participant all month, I was the FIRST best all month, and I got to set the bar as to what the others have to achieve in order to win.

That's kind of bad-ass!

It's kind of fun to go to the gym and have people recognize you, and congratulate you...especially all the trainers that I've worked with.

I feel a pretty great sense of accomplishment. I haven't won a physical fitness award since I was in grade school. And I actually worked my ass off for this one, I didn't just show up like back then.

Feeling Like a Bad-Ass...

One of the reasons I love semi-private training is because you get so much personal attention, and motivation.

After winning my first "boot camp buddy of the day" award last week, the instructor used me as fuel for the other participants, saying I was "the one to watch, I'm the reigning champion". I felt the pressure, and it made me work harder. I took 3 more classes without winning a title....but then...

My second coveted toy soldier!

I won this time, because I took the class the night before, and the one the next day, and made it the whole class being strong, and not giving up. He doesn't know yet, that if it were offered every day...I'd be there.

Who knew a stupid toy soldier toy would make someone feel so awesome?

I also found a delicious "clean" vegan protein, thanks to Pinterest! I made lentil "burgers", and I'm in love with them! So much so, that I have to stop myself from eating too many! One is enough, they are filling with some veggies, but they are soooo goooood!

The flavor is very comparable to a good veggie burger, but home made, and you know what you put into them!

They do not taste as good after freezing them, as they do fresh, but you will have that I suppose.

Lentil burgers:
1C uncooked lentils
1C brown rice (not instant)
1.5C carrots finely grated (I shred them in the food processor)
1/2tsp garlic
1.5C Oatmeal (I used quick oats the first time, seemed to work fine)
1tsp salt
1 onion finely grated (I shred in the food processor with the carrots)

Cook rice and lentils in 4C water on low heat for 45min covered.

Mix with all other ingredients.

Let cool.

Make into 8 patties, brown over medium heat 6 minutes per side. Mine took longer than 6 minutes, so keep an eye on them.

The recipe said they are 130 cal each, but I find it hard to believe...so I am guessing them at about 200 each, they make hefty "burgers".

.

Even Small Accomplishments, are Great Ones!....

This whole vegan thing is pretty hard. Not just giving up meat and dairy, but all the things that contain meat and dairy that you never thought did!

For instance, I have one cheat meal a week, and I was so excited to go to Chipotle because I could get a vegetarian bowl, and have BEANS! But I found out the beans are cooked with bacon. I was very appreciative of the workers to point it out to me, but I was also disappointed. Because of my strenuous workout routine...I was really looking forward to some extra protein in my meal, so I got cheese. I felt like a quitter, but I am not going to dwell on it.

I have been hungry. Really, really hungry, and struggling with my calorie count, because the vegan proteins are so high in calories, and making up for it with fruits/veggies make me hungry just about every hour. I have to plan more snacks to help curb hunger pangs. Next week I'll be better prepared.

I'm also having a hard time being a "clean eater" and eating all the processed vegan proteins. Unless I have dried beans and legumes that I prepare myself, I am really at a loss for what else to eat that isn't "processed".  I have had all my nutrition dead on for so long, that now I have to branch out. A challenge.

 My first attempt at a vegan meal was whole grain pasta, with tofurky italian sausage ,spinach, tomato, and I melted tofutti garlic and chives cream cheese in my noodles. I used a small plate so it looked like more. This is only 3/4c noodles, and half of a tofurky link. Total score taste-wise, it tasted like the real deal..... but the calories, and processed food part, worried me. Turned out, my noodles contained egg whites....another loss. 

For dessert I had tofutti chocolate "ice cream" and a sliced strawberry. The ice cream was just the same taste-wise as real ice cream, and the same calorie wise too. The calories scared me. I'd been having Arctic Zero ice cream, which contains whey...so it is not vegan. The calories in that are amazing!

In the end, for a week, I accomplished a lot. I'll get there eventually. I'm going to allow myself the ability to fail from time to time, because I'm going to try to do this meal by meal. Small accomplishments! I may have had cheese this week, and egg whites in my noodles, but I didn't have an animal protein for 12 out of my 15 meals for this short amount of time. I consider that a win! 

In other news, I joined my gyms new bootcamp program, which is an hour of high energy athletic interval training. My first class, I was picked out of the 6 girls as "boot camp buddy of the day". (You pair up in two's)

When I was announced winner he said it was, because of my perfect, controlled form, and my refusal to give up. (the instructor spends a lot of 1:1 time with you in the smaller classes, and offers you "modifications" in case you are tired and I never took one single modification, I pushed thru)

Sure, my prize was just a small toy soldier. But I was recognized in front of the group and this little guy made me feel Strong! 

I'm going to take all my little accomplishments as they come.

Running "Cross Country" and "Barking for Life"...

So, I ran a 5k this weekend for the animals. When I arrived 45m early to register, I was kind of unimpressed that I didn't get a bib, and was informed that the race would not be timed. Ok. At least I'm still running a 5k, and the animals get my money.

Then, at the start line, it was explained that the course was "cross country" and then when the "director" told us the route, I went completely blank. Was I suppose to remember what he just said? Yes, I was, because the course wasn't marked! "It was self explanatory". Uhh. what?

It was just around some grassy terrain, (running in the grass??) , and then run up the "giiiinormoussssss sled riding hill" and down. (run, I did not, I barely walked this massive hill!!)

It was literally a wide open field of tall grass, with some paths mowed out, and you were suppose to remember where to go along the course, which included some looping, and doubling back.

There was a point when I thought I have to be done because while I couldn't find my way to the finish I heard the times being called out to the finishers, and it was around the 30 minute mark so I decided I would quit, and used the port-o-let.

When I emerged from the toilet I saw people I had passed a while back still running past the toilets.I thought, maybe I'm not done, so I fell in line and started running again. Then after a few minutes I realized I had already gone on this leg of the course.


All in all I probably ran 4 miles vs a 5k and I have no idea what my real 5k time was. But at the end of the day I got a workout, and I helped homeless animals, so I'm OK with it.

After my run I went home to gather up Mr. Magoo, so we could do the "Bark for Life" walk for cancer. It was two long miles for stumpy shih-poo legs, but he looked so cute doing it with his adorable purple bandana like the other doggies. As usual he was a hit, and everyone loved him. Especially the rescue that I got him from, that was one of the vendors at the event. They just love seeing their dogs happy!!!

He would not pose with his cute purple relay bandana on, so I tricked him into this picture by asking him if he wanted to go "buh-bye". I might go to hell for that. 

Our favorite part of the day (by our, I mean me and my dog, I'm totally lame) was watching the police dog demonstration at the park. Police dogs are pretty bad-ass, and so smart!

Then, after his walk and day with the doggies, he was more than happy to let me take a million pictures of him crashed out on the rug. Two miles, and hours of butt sniffing, is a lot for a shih-poo.

Training Day...

Yea, so..I'm in training. "I can't be out late, I'm in training". "I worked out three times today, I'm in training." "Wine 5 nights a week? Not anymore, I'm in training." And my most favorite...."Carbs? Yes please, I'm in training!!!"

This training thing makes me sound awesome, right? (wait til I start in with my Madonna concert countdown if you want annoying)

I have officially started my 10 week training schedule to get me to my 13.1 miles. Suprisingly I have to run less often than I do to get there, and progressively add distance to meet my goal. Kinda like losing weight, and having to eat MORE food to get there. Weird.

On the days that I am forced to rest (I take rest by not running miles, and still getting some cardio/strength training in because I still have 20lbs to lose) I joined a gym close to home!

I really thought I was in pretty good shape. Running 4-6 miles a day 5-7 days a week, and having been thru bootcamp, sometimes running twice a day plus a bootcamp class... I mean come on, I felt bad-ass!

The best advice anyone has ever given me? If you think you are in good shape, try something new.

I started a plyofusion class at the gym. Which is as you may have guessed, a lot of the plyometric stuff in P90X plus some cardio, thus the "fusion" (like my cute little car!!). It's recommended for training athletes and I can see why!

I left about 2lbs of sweat on the floor, along with my ability to stand up and sit down without an audible "owww owwww!!" Just like the beginnings of bootcamp, this horrific pain too, shall pass!

We actually used barbells. Like boys use. You know those things weigh almost 50lbs on their own, right? We did an hour of weight and core training. An hour of weights. When I am accustomed to 10 minutes at the end of a workout class with 8lb weights. Driving? Painful. Using my Tivo remote? That hurts too!

I cannot wait to see how my body changes as a result of all the conditioning I will be doing. I am once again living at the gym without much time for socializing, but you know what? It's something I love to do, that is making me feel even better!

I can hardly believe that a little over a year ago, I lived my life laying around the house complaining about being "so tired". At least now when I'm exhausted, I know that I worked my ass off to feel that way!

And that my friends, is worth all the sweat!

How I Had My Ass Handed to Me by a 13yo...

So, how does one feel after thai fighting against a 13yo male orange belt, and with, I guess, minimal contact, and basically knowing nothing?

Well, they feel like they had the shit kicked out of them, that's how. It hurts to breathe, cough, talk, move.......hell, it hurts to "be". I am bruised, have mat burn, and parts of my body I wasn't sure I even had are screaming out in pain!

I swear to god my guts are bruised. My guts! Stretching, continuing with runs, hot baths, advil, heating pad.....check, check, check, and check.

(what I really want is a bottle of wine to ease the pain but I've re-dedicated myself to weekend only drinking....sigh...)

I feel like I've been run thru the ringer!! And I consider myself to be in pretty good shape, I work out 7 days a week for at least an hour!

Due to it taking me an hour to drive 6 miles from work in the snow I missed my second class, but I'll be geared up for the even longer class on Saturday. (help me!)

I guess my point of this post is, if you think you are in good shape, try something new. I went from almost dying after 50 jumping jacks to belting out 1,000 in a row plus a 30 minute boot camp class, and I feel like total shit right now. MMA wasn't "harder" it requires more skill, technique, power, and brain function, but physically boot camp felt worse.

Until the next day.

Oh, and reason 678,795,124 not to have kids. I'm pretty sure that my uterus was one of my major organs to suffer damage after my first class.

Cold is for the birds....

After braving the cold and ice the last two days and running, I have been on a mission to find warmth for running, lest I forgoe it altogether, and find myself starting at square one come spring. (my running partner actually bought me snow tires!!... little spikey things for my running shoes to ensure I keep it up thru winter...wish me luck!)

I bought thermals, warm socks, new gloves, an ear warmer, and my friend got me a gaitor that really helps for breathing!

I also recruited a new running partner from bootcamp, so when my usual friend cant come, I have another person! Plus, it makes me feel pretty awesome to run with a beginner, who thinks I make running look easy.

I find nothing easy about running!

Motivator....

Who would have ever thought I would be motivating people to do anything other than singing to them "forget your troubles c'mon get happy?"

I'm good at being optimistic. And making people laugh. I have that down pat. But my latest endeavor is motivating people with their fitness.

Tonight a girl joined boot camp....because of me. She introduced herself to the class and said she had wanted to make a change, and had been afraid to do it, and about everything she'd tried, and what her goals were....and then she said it...."I was inspired by her story on the web page (pointing at me!!!!!) and so I signed up".

I said "ME?!" Pointing at myself...then I said......"AAAAAWE!!"

It just goes to show that you never know what you may do in life, that inspires other people to do good things. I joined to change my own life, and find "myself" again. I never thought it would ever impact another person.

But every day, I see that it does.

A coworker makes me call her every day to run in the gym with me, because she wanted to run as fast as me when she saw me in the gym one day after noticing how much weight I had lost. Wait....As fast as ME?!

I have been getting a girlfriend who lost her will to be fit, to come on runs with me. She isn't running, but walking fast, and saying how hard it is, while I do high knees next to her, or jog at a fast rate, quite slowly (subsequently looking like a complete and total jackass....) I plow ahead up hills, and jog in place while cheering her up the long, steep, never-ending trails. Saying "you can do it! You have to walk before you run!"

Out of all the hard work I've done to lose all the "elle bee's", and achieve my personal fitness goals... having that girl say that I inspired her to change her life, honestly felt better than all that**. Something I struggled with for so long, and have overcome, has made someone else believe they can do it too!

**(Ok, so mayyybe it didn't feel better than putting on a size 6 for the first time EVER....but it felt pretty damn good just the same!)

If You're Gonna Be the Poster Child....

At bootcamp a fellow camper referred to me as "the poster child". This is probably because I've been in the spotlight on the website forever, (I'm kind of a celebrity......) and I'm the only success story in a while.

But mostly it's cus during a step class I grabbed 4 risers, (and a boot camp step class is nothing like your ordinary run of the mill aerobic step class either!!!) and I tried to get everyone else to follow suite. "C'mon guys you can do it!!" No one did it. They all left me hangin.

But, I made it. And while my entire body was wet, and my instructor pointed out at the end that I look like I had jumped in a pool fully dressed.....it mad me choose 4 risers for every step class thereafter, and have the most amazing sense of accomplishment!

I guess if you are going to be a poster child for something, its better to be one for fitness, than say....crack cocaine. Or, depression.

Speaking of success. I recently had my annual physical. The Dr. was so enthusiastically impressed with my weight loss success, that she talked to me for half an hour. Ok, so she was an hour and 20 minutes late for our appointment, but still...whens the last time you got half an hour with your Dr. simply chatting? Hmm.?

She told me I'm at a perfect weight. I told her I want to lose 10 more lbs. because I want to be able to maintain by only working out 5 days a week. Like normal people. (currently you remember, I'm working out an hour and a half, six days a week.....no way I can do this forever) My knees no longer creak. My feet don't ache. My back no longer hurts. My neck doesn't crack 10 times a day. I'm a whole new me!

The best, best, best part, was when she moved me in my chart from "obese" to "average". I thought it was bad-ass to move from morbidly obese to obese a year ago, but now I'm only 4% body fat away from being in the "fitness category". FITNESS and ME in the same sentence!! WHAT?!!!

I kinda wanted to cry. I havn't been "average" since my very early 20's. And I doubt I've ever been deemed "fit".

Hi! I'm Fizzgig, and I'm....AVERAGE!

Well, this average girl is running her first marathon tomorrow. I'm doing the Akron Road Runner Marathon. (in a relay!) And, enjoying beer and pizza afterwards with my awesome running group and relay team that pushes me on outdoor runs every week! Aaaand.... I'm pretty sure that I'm going to be wearing my medal all weekend. I might even sleep in it.

Off the Sauce...

It occurred to me today, that it would have been my 15 year anniversary with my ex husband, and 20 years together. Why do I care? I don't, it just occurred to me is all. Its been over for 12 years.

It's been 3 days with no wine. And..considering what's been going on at work (turns out I hired someone who has simply done nothing but cause problems) the past few weeks, this is an accomplishment! I had been drinking every day. A whole bottle of wine. A regular bottle? No, the big ones.

I think my liver thanks me, as does my bank account, and certainly, the scale since it's been a few weeks since its moved anywhere. I feel like I wasted that time, and I could have easily been to my 10lb goal by now.

Instead of working out to eat, I have been working out to drink. I have to admit, working out to drink is way more fun. And you can sleep just fine when you've downed a bottle of wine.

On the other hand, I have had a blast clothes shopping. My credit card is on fire. I never enjoyed it before, but when you try things on and you don't hate the way they fit, its hard to put them back on the rack...I also realized that no matter what size you are, they never have your size. I always thought there were only smaller sizes. Now, there are only larger sizes.

My favorite purchase was a size 6 pair of jeans....with...wait for it....a BELT! I don't remember the last time I wore a belt. And I certainly never wore a size 6, that's for sure!

I have still been lunging around the house, trying to fix the derrier, and have seen progress, so if you want a firmer butt, walk-lunge around the house!

I still havn't totally blown off the guy I was seeing because it turns out I'm a chicken shit, and I'm no good at letting people down. I thought he'd just go away if I ignored him but it turns out I'm too awesome to forget. But...I'm working on it.

Looks Like We Made It...

I was finally featured on my boot camp's website. I feel official now!!! And having a good "measuring stick" from the start actually makes me feel accomplished!

Here is my testimonial! I lost 61lbs in 20 weeks! A size 14 to a size 6!!!!

Why did you join (Boot Camp)?

Because I had been working out on my own for years, and stopped losing

weight after 45lbs. I stopped pushing myself, and needed motivation.

I was also (which is my favorite phrase from my instructor) "working out just

to eat" I needed structure to what I was putting into my body.

How did you feel your first week?

Awful! I took a lot of hot baths, did a lot of stretching,

and had plenty of ibuprofen! I remember thinking I would throw up

during each class, and I think even my hair was sore!

How has your eating habits changed?

Drastically! I actually enjoy eating healthy, because of the way

it makes me feel. The couple times I splurged, made me feel awful.

You really are what you eat, but if you don't allow your body to

adjust to the healthy food, you never realize that! I have structured

meals and snacks, and feel fulfilled!

What is your favorite exercise?

Jacks. Only because at first, they hurt every part of my body, and

I struggled with just a few sets. Now they continue to be challenging,

but I can do more, and feel the benefit of the cardio more than the

pain of the movements. It's a measuring stick for my fitness.

What advice would you give someone who is thinking

about joining?

Do it! The workouts are great, and it forces you to push yourself

further than you think you can go. You always leave feeling

accomplished! It  has made me feel amazing about my body and what it

can do. It's also a place you can go where you know people understand

your struggle with workouts, and changing your eating habits.

What advice would you give someone new to the

program?

Follow the meal plan religiously, as hard as it is at first,

and after the first month it will become habit. It gets easier

to turn down sweets and  snacks the longer you stick with it.

I never gave anything long enough to work, and trust me, it works!

How would you describe the classes?

The classes are high energy, and fun! Your instructor always

has a new challenge for you to try, and it doesn't get boring like

some classes, its never the same routine.

How has (Boot Camp) Changed your life?

I have turned into someone I never thought I could be. Someone

who makes smart choices about what I eat, and looks forward to work

outs, and calorie burning. I have also started running 5 miles a day

(which even I can't believe), and I'm doing the Akron marathon on

a relay team in September. I never would have began running if

my fitness level wasn't increased with the help of boot camp,

and I certainly never would have thought I'd be doing a marathon.

An Ode to My Vessel..

Happiness is, calculating your height/weight ratio, and the return says "you are 18lbs overweight".

Only 18lbs? Ha! That's nothin! I'm gonna kick your ass 18 lbs! I have 10% more body fat to lose to be in the normal range too. That's a far cry from having to drop 25%!!!


Tonight only two of us showed up to bootcamp. The instructor asked what we wanted to do. I said "lose a pound!" That's not such a great idea, because she really worked us over!

My body is awesome. Not in the "I'm so fine" way, but in the way that it's just an amazing thing!

For so long I told it that it was fat, and lazy, and couldn't do this or that. I changed my thinking, and I said nice things to myself, and little by little, I lived up to my words.

This week, after 20 weeks of the same workout routine, and diet.... my body managed to drop 6lbs!!! I simply started my runs on a slight incline for a longer period of time!

And!.....I am officially doing the Akron marathon, in a relay. It's my first time, so I am taking the second to easiest route, of 3.5 miles. I'm starting the first leg, as my girlfriend thinks this will make me become addicted, and do all the marathons she does.

I'm kinda scared, but the best part is Luigi's pizza afterwords. I miss pizza! And pizza misses me!

I'd like to thank my body, for living up to my expectations, and continuing to surprise me!

I am now at a total weight loss of 61lbs in 20 weeks. (106lbs total since my highest weight....OVER A HUNNNNNDRED POUNDS!!!!). I bought a size 6 dress pants, (SIX) size 8 jeans, and a small top this week. I really can't believe it, because when I look at pictures, I think I still look big. I only realize the change if I look at "fat" pictures. I really never expected to get this far but every time I meet a goal, it seems to come easier, and I set a new one!

Only 10lbs until my second goal is hit. And after that, who knows, I may just be sporting a bikini next summer! (I havn't done that since I was 16!!!) Which is awesome, because I plan to visit my girlfriend in Florida (for the first time) and she is taking me to the pacific ocean. I've never been!!!! I'm sheltered!

I've said it a million times, I feel amazing!

Hold On Loosley...

I neglected to update on last weeks weight loss, one because it was only 1lb, and two, I had a date Friday night!

The weight loss:

56lbs, 15lbs to goal! Now, I am faced with the dilemma of not being hungry. Which, I always thought would be a blessing, but working out 3 times a day means you have to feed your body, or it will hold on to weight. My body no longer tells me its hungry at snack times. Apparently, that doesn't matter. Even when my mind doesn't want to think about food, I still have to. Balls!

The date:

I had another fabulous date with TDH this weekend, that began with hanging with friends at a concert, and ended the next day with a late breakfast, including mimosas, and a great conversation! Minds out of the gutter people, I'm a respectable girl! Well, sort of!

The body:

I havn't been this small since I was 14, which also brings with it 14 year old boobs, after having been a double D for years and years. I don't miss them in the sense that they are no longer in the way of everything I do, I can buy adorable bra and panty sets, and super cute tops no longer evade me! I love the size they are now, but I do not love the location they have decided to reside in.

Not a pretty visual. Trust.

I consulted with a plastic surgeon, for advice, and to get an idea of what could be done to salvage what the years of fat have done to me.

The Advice:

A simple lift wont work for me because I have lost so much body fat, I will not be happy with the result. So despite my fear of having implants, it is probably where I will wind up being.

The scars are horrific, but will fade in a year or so. They look like frankenstein. They don't show you that on all those plastic surgery shows! They also don't show you the disgusting drains that hang out your boobs and collect "fluid" after your surgery. Yes, it's a real surgery. It's scary, and it is going to take a lot of thought on my part!

I always said I wanted to be pickled, so this is the first step in the right direction! But just like Bob in "What about Bob", I'm taking baby steps on this whole procedure. I'm terrified of the dentist, let alone having my boobs overhauled!!

Angry Skinny girl:

At work today, I was so jealous of a coworkers lunch of fettucini alfredo with extra cheese on top, breaded chicken strips, and light, and fluffy breaksticks, that I asked to look at her food. And then I actually let these words leave my lips

"mmmmm....mmm...well, enjoy your clogged arteries".

After taking a break, I apologized to her. I swear I need to get my food rage under control, it isn't her fault I can't eat that stuff. What the fuck is wrong with me? This is a regular occurance for me. I am always giving people unsolicited advice on what the crap they eat is doing to them. It's all out of jealousy too. I could really care less if people croak due to their arteries.

A New Kinda Stash...And, a Douchebag...

Remember how I said this week is all big meetings and I had reese cups and normally I'd run around and hoard junk food? Well, this time, I hoarded all the fruit. Whenever I entered a room, and grabbed something I giggled out loud. Boy have I changed!

Check out my stash!!!!!

That's over a week's worth of snacks for me! I'd have eaten all the cookies in a day.

I had a 2lb loss tonight, bringing my 13 week total to 46lbs!! Which I'm happy with because:

1) I'm getting closer to goal and it may start to slow down so a loss is a bonus!
2) I missed a few miles this week
3) I've had a consistent loss for 13 weeks now
4) My instructor messaged me on our fitness site and said I was looking good she saw me in my shorts this week

In douchebag news, I had a date tonight. Early this morning, I found out my 96 year old Grandma passed away, natural causes. I was stressed out from work already, and then sad because I hadn't visited her in a while, so I was down in the dumper. I'm sad that my Dad's side of the family is slowly fading out. And sad because I'm getting older. Then I was sad when I thought that if I believed in heaven, my Dad would be there to greet her. Personally, I saw her in all the birds today. That's just my thing.

So, I texted my date bright and early, and told him I wasn't up for going out because my Grandmother had passed away.

And....... I never got a response. Not an Ok. Not an I'm sorry...nada. Zilch. Zip!

Um, you can happily cross yourself off my future husband list! And chalk it up as your loss! Let this cocksmoker try to ask me out on another date. Who wants to spend their golden years with someone who doesn't even acknowledge when a family member dies? /rant

In crush news, we found out last week my security guard crush at work has a girlfriend. One of my friends asked him. (isn't this so high school...???) Then, I caught him twice today passing my desk, and after clearing my cubicle opening (I have high walls) he turned around and looked me dead in the eyes. I know this because I still look at him when he walks by. Crushes with girlfriends are like diets, you can look but not touch.

Maybe his girlfriend isn't a looker?

Maybe he thought my friend was asking for herself?

The world, may never know. What I do know is now when he comes thru the department and all the girls are abuzz with excitement for me, I simply announce...."Ladies, we totally broke up, and it's his loss"

I think I should get "It's his loss" tattooed on my ass.

Universe: Please do not let me get drunk one night and think that is actually a good idea.

Authoritar...

So you know how I'm the coolest supervisor in the world, right? Well everyone has their breaking point. The best part about my work, is they mainly promote from within. I work with 14 Vice Presidents who all started out in retail. No one handed them their jobs, they earned them.

I've blogged about annoying coworker before. She's related to everyone, including the Kellogs (of the cereal fortune) MC Hammer (she's white, from WV) and like 15 presidents.

I'm not joking.

But she doesn't have much common sense. Today? I had to give her a verbal warning, for arguing with a VP.

Ok, she's a secretary, to 5 VP's...... and she was arguing with one of the VP's. He didn't even want me to say anything, but I heard thru the grapevine what went down, and approached him about it. Because it's like, my JOB to keep this department running smoothly, right?

He use to be "my" VP too. He's totally sweet. Laid back, easy going, nice as can be, (cute!) and all 14 of them, treat each one of us like gold, never look down on us, or act like they are in any way above us.

You don't find that everywhere.

I had to give a 40 something woman, a talk about perception. And how you may not think you are being argumentative, but you always have to be aware of how others may perceive your actions. You don't tell a VP that they are wrong. There are ways of going about this sort of thing. Like, calling your supervisor (me) to smooth over the situation.

I mean, call me crazy, but to me this is common sense.

This brings me to my dilemma. Week night drinking. I have partaken in wine three nights this week, and I'm terrified of weighing in as a result.

Three hour workouts all week? Yes. Sticking to the diet? Yes, aside from wine. Which until now, has been strictly enjoyed on Friday nights, with 7 days to burn off all the calories.

I finally got "don't work out just to eat".....and now, I'm worried about "don't work out just to drink."

Friday night? Girls night! Pre-party at my house with some Moscato, before trekking it up to the Highland Theater (yes, they have a full bar inside!) to see Hangover 2, and have some much needed laughs, and girl bonding.

I am so stinking excited!

And maybe, even some dancing at the local non-hetero bar next door, where they make the best vodka sodas, play the best music, and is within walking distance, or a $5 cab ride home.

Aint Nothin Gonna Break My Stride...

So as I mentioned I had a date. It was a friend of a friend, but I'm on some dating sites, I havn't really found anyone worth dating but I'm there. I check my mail now and then, and mostly hit delete, and thank the nice ones I don't find attractive, or that are in their 50's and say "I can pass for 35" (I can pass for 25, so bite me) for their compliments.

I say yes, I am an awesome girl, what I have in my profile is real, yes those are recent pictures, no I don't want to have sex with you. That sorta thing.

Last night I was on, and I got a text message on my blackberry, from my date, "what are you doing on (insert site name here)?". I just texted "being social" and heard nothing back.

In retrospect, I should have said "the same fucking thing you are doing?!" Douchebag! I didn't know I was exclusive after a few hours together. My Momma says its the family curse. Guys fall too fast for us.

Obviously, he's not the future Mr. me, so, um....NEXT!

In other news, I weighed in tonight with another impressive 4lb loss! I was pretty nervous because I had string cheese a few days (I've been off cheese mainly) and drank two nights during the week, when I usually only drink on Friday night so I have 7 days to burn off the calories.

This puts me at an 11 week loss of 41lbs....a mere 19lbs to my goal. Ideally, I should lose 35 more pounds to be the "ideal weight for my height" but I'm ideal enough without the scale, so it can suck it!

The bad news for the week is I have to have a root canal. After the pain I've endured with said tooth, it's a welcome thing.

My dentist actually said "we try to make them fun here". I think that it may be code for they are loose with the gas, but we'll see?!

In even BIGGER news, I made first contact with the hot security guy I have a crush on at work. I said "Hi" as I almost plowed into him, while eating an apple. I'm working on my smoothness, because normally, I'd have averted my eyes and went the other direction.

All the girls at work are pulling for me, and I find it completely delightful!

Skinny Girl?...

"Do you ever get tired of being called skinny?"

Are you talking to ME? Um, no!

I can't get enough. "Skinny minnie, you're wasting away, you look how thin you are, you really are losing weight, great job!"

"Is that what skinny people eat for breakfast?" "Oh, you're working out again? I guess that's what skinny people do".

My favorite thing people say is, "what are you doing to lose weight? I'm so jealous!"

And when I respond that I am simply eating healthy, and working out 10 times a week, they quickly say "oh nevermind". As if I am coveting some super magic potion that if you drink it you'll shrink!

To me, skinny is relative. No, I'm not the standard skinny just yet, but compared to what I was, yes, I'm skinny. I'm biggest loser finale **"i think she weighs 120 by looks, but by the scale its 160" skinny.

Last night I cleaned out my closet. I was sad to see so many things go including but not limited to, my favorite jean short cut offs. What I put on from last summer, no longer just looks puffy and hangy and big, it falls off. It's exciting and sad all mixed together. I'm trying to buy a house so new clothes are not an option right now!

*this is an example only and I would never publicly reveal my true weight to the world. No way!