You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel...

I got a flat tire Saturday at the manfriends. Luckily, I thought, I am with a man who can help me. It turns out, nothing can help me.

We spent a couple hours trying to get the wheel off. Manfriend is strong too. The landlord tried to help. A neighbor tried to help. They used some stuff that eats thru rust.

We called a mechanic that said we need an impact drill. Called the towing company they said they could get it off. They had a drill with 70 psi (whatever that means) and that wouldn't budge it. Finally, manfriend had fix a flat. Used that and drove to get another can.

I have a nail in my tire.

The neighbors brother has an air drill or whatever those shop things are, that does 100 psi (whatever that means) and that wouldn't budge it.

The world could implode, and there would sit my Dodge Stratus, with the left rear wheel still attached. Maybe it can cure world hunger or something spectacular like that. My Dad would be proud. "American" made.

You know, Friday my wages were garnished. I have no money. I can't pay to have my freaking tire removed. It's just about the stupidest thing I've had to deal with.

No, I can't get a flat, I have to have a bionic wheel, and no way to cash in on its sheer strength!

Oh, guess what else? I'm going to the gyno today. That tops off the wonderful weekend. At least I'm finally going to use my insurance, and go to a real gyno, with soft chairs, and mood lighting, and cloth gowns, and two stirrups (at planned parenthood inevitably one is always broken) and peaceful music vs. 16 kids screaming in the waiting room while their mom (they all belong to one teenager) is getting her 17th pregnancy test.

Upon relating my weekend to my boss. She told me to take a mental health day tomorrow. Not vacation, personal time, that I don't have to account for, even though, I still have 72 vacation hours to use this year.

Maybe I've mentioned that I have the best boss ever?

make me a bird so I can fly far far away....

Last day for taxes! I still have to file my state. And my city, but we're not going there with the city taxes. State, I'll file as I should be getting a refund. Cha-ching.

I perused flights yesterday to the beach. I admit I suck at this crap,which is something I do for work, but we have a program, and it's not my money I'm spending. Way easier.

Flights to VA Beach are 248 per person round trip in July. This is the same price as last year. How come there are no deals? I looked up other sites, tried to book one way there, and one way back to save money. That way tickets were $69.......Yesssss! Plus, $55 fees/taxes. Nooooo. So, no matter which way you slice it, it's gonna cost $300 when all is said and done to fly to Virginia. I use to work with a girl who could find flights to anywere for like 50 bucks cus she could pick connecting flights and whatnot.

Personally, I don't mind a 10 hour drive, I'm hella fun, and great at I spy. Manfriend says it's a waste of two vacation days. Pffft. I could really use a trip to look forward to. Its rough to have perfect attendance with no vacay.

Living on the cheap, aka... having shitty cable, has turned me on to a few good shows like Southland, and The Unusuals. I'm pretty sick of the Price is Right, while working out, I've turned to the Today Show at 11. I have to Tivo the price now, because I'm so sick and tired of the commercials, which are all for old people. It's the same four commercials, and If I hear this old broad say "BINGO!" one more time, I may barf up a lung!

Repeat after me...I am going to be debt free in 2010. It's going to happen. I even put it on my dream board. Which I'm thinking of posting....

I'm also thinking of finding a group or something to meet new people. I kind of thought this was sad, but I guess its what people do nowadays! I thought about volunteering at an animal shelter but there arent any close to me. And then...I have enough animals, and I know me, and my big soft spot for furry things, and I'd wind up with a billion homeless pets taking up residence in my home. Sucking up more of my income than the ones I already have do...So, thats out.

I win another contest! This one was from Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom! She has all sorts of fun contests you should go check her out! I won a box of South Beach protein bars, and a water bottle, and a beach ball and note cards! It's always fun to get a package in the mail for just entering a contest! I think everyone should have them!

Incognito, sort of...

I figure, I can post this picture, since technically we have masks on, right? It's me and the manfriend. My mask was pretty awesome, Kat got it in Venice. She kinda sucks for going but whatever, she got me a cool mask and a spoon from Austria, so I have to let her off the hook.

You can't however, see the necklace I scammed from the party that was mardi gras beads, with two turtles humping. Humping turtles are awesome. I'll make sure they are more visible at this weekends mardi gras party. My solem vow.

The manfriend, reminded me of these firey things from the Labryinth. Didn't that movie rock?

You know what is super nice? To wake up with someone and they tell you how cute you are first thing in the morning. Who feels cute in the morning? Cute enough to breath your morning breath on someone and maybe, you know....have some hanky panky? Slober and all? That is love. Mixed with lust!

I have to leave work early to truck it to Planned Parenthood. I swear I help keep Ohio's youth in condoms with all the time and money I spend there. They refuse to send me more than 1 month birth control at a time. I found out after 6 months, its cus I owe money. $50. Have they billed me? No. How about sending me a bill? I am all for my right to privacy but I mark on all my forms that they can send me things and call me. My MOMMMMMMEEEEE wont find out and ground me. So, when I reorder my pills, a week after receiving my last one (which is totally retarded and a waste of time and postage!) it takes them a month to send my script, and I don't receive it, and I wind up having to drive the 30 miles from work to pick it up.

I do have insurance now, and I can go to a real dr., and get a real live script and have it filled at an actual pharmacy where they dispense all sorts of medications usually until 9pm at many convenient locations close to home. But they wont write me a script at Planned Parenthood. I think they get those canadian drugs or they get a discount on how many people they dispense medication to? (I dunno, speculation) So I'd have to go have another pelvic exam at the real gyno. And while I'm sure they would use better equipment, and give me a real gown to wear.. Who wants to be violated twice in a year? At least....in THAT way? Not me. No thank you!

I havn't given up on the lottery. The universe wants me to have more money, so it keeps me baited. Now, it's like 170 million. I could afford two islands with all that money!

And now, the rest is about Lost...........

Holey crap John Locke is alive! I kinda knew he would be, but you never know! Who the hell are those other people on the island with them? They seem to know something. And, Cesar said to Jack last week before boarding "sorry about your friend".

Ben is truely evil. Or is he? That's the catch, you don't know what the hell to believe. Is Charles the bad guy, or Ben? Ben did kill Locke, but, maybe he knew he had to die to come back to life, and "feel" he is special. John didn't believe he was that special, obviously he was gonna off himself!

Where is everyone else on the island? I hope they reunite w/Sawyer and the rest next week!

What the heck blew your mind?

My Insurance Woes...

So, as read in my posts titled about vagina's....I havn't had insurance for 2 years. And, as a result, I've been forced to go to Planned Parenthood for my annual hoo-ha exam. Which, is a totally non-fun thing to do. It's so....ghetto. I guess I'm glad I have the opportunity to go, because I could be riddled with 10 kids. So, go Planned Parenthood, you do a great service! But you suck at bedside manner.

I was so excited when I got promoted because that meant I could afford to pay for insurance. Woo hoo! I had to wait until October for open enrollment. It wouldn't be effective until January. Wait... it IS January, right?

So, why did I have to send in yet another order for birth control pills to Planned Parenthood? And why have they not yet shipped them when my new pack starts on Sunday? Interfere with my sex with the manfriend, I might have to blow a joint up. Seriously. I had to call the place for an hour before someone decided to answer the phone. They told me, they shipped my order out, and I should have it Saturday. They besta hope I do. BASTARDS. I have PMS!

Anyway, back to why on earth am I still going to Planned Parenthood instead of a real live gyno that gives you an actual cloth robe that covers your entire naked body vs. a paper towel to barely cover your can-cans. And talks to you, and doesn't just say "Get naked".

I received in the mail my prescription card. My dental card. My vision card. No medical card. I could get a prescription, but couldn't go to a Dr. to write me one. Surely it's coming.......I wait, and wait. Last week was 3 weeks into January when my insurance was effective, so I ask HR where my cards are. "oh, you have to contact the insurance provider" So I do. They tell me they have no record of my being insured. Wait, but they are taking money out of my check each pay. Sooo...

I try to call HR, they never answer. Is it just my work, or does HR seem to not be very humanely resourceful? I marched my ass over to the department where the girl I just called is sitting at her desk doing nothing. She looks at my file, and says "oh, I don't know how this happened. They signed you up for (insert company name) insurance which is for our field employees outside of Ohio".

Oh, cus clearly, I live in Ohio, and I work in the office, as I'm at your desk...not the field. So here I am still uninsured. Fighting with planned parenthood, to plan my non-parenthood, which isn't very easy to do. Supposedly my new insurance card should be in the mail by the weekend.

Last night, my tivo went out. *gasp*. I happen to love TV. It couldnt locate my satellite. Five years never a problem, now? All sorts of shit. I thought maybe its cus I smacked it the other day. After an hour of configuring and messing with it, I hung out my second story window tossing buckets of hot water on it cus there is more ice on it.

Who fixed her tivo? I did. Who has an addiction to TV...maybe I do. But, it was the premiere of Hell's Kitchen! Fuck off! (Gordon says that I totally wouldn't tell you to eff off!)

Pee-essss: I'm going to three parties this weekend. Fri, Sat, and Sun. Talk to you Monday when I'm exhausted....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Gettin Off the Juice...

It's bosses day. I bet you are all wondering if I got anything. Yea, me too. I do get to have my va-hoo-ha looked at today. Don't get excited, it's my big annual trip to the gyn. I think with modern technology, they should figure a hands-free, non naked way of violating women. Put that on my list of things to do before I die.

I'm still tired. I looked up the symptoms of anemia. I only considered it because I barely eat meat, and rarely do I ever eat red meat. It's not even a monthly occurance. I guess I do eat a lot if you consider every sunday I have turkey bacon for breakfast, and almost every weekday morning I have a turkey sausage link. And, I barely have a period. And I bruise easily. I hate leafy green vegetables. I like iceberg lettuce. And most every other veggie but I don't eat that green lettuce leafy weed crap.

No, I think mostly it's the fact that I was taking an excess of "mini thins" and stackers and Ripped Fuel, coupled with sugar free energy drinks, or cappucinno's, including the 5 hour energy shot. I did this because I got up at 7, went to work, and didnt get home from work until 11pm, did a half hour workout, cleaned, housework.... Lather, rinse, repeat. I needed something to keep me going. For um. Years. I, am a caffiene junkie. And I'm such a junkie, that I need horrific amounts of it to even affect me.

I've tried lots of things to wean me off of them. Cold Turkey. (bitch!)
Products containing less caffeine. (which are crap, I just took more..) And my latest endeavor...natural Guarana. Guarana worked, its the key ingredient in energy drinks...in pill form.. w/o the sodium and sugar and crap, but I had to take about 5 of them at a time. I know it's not good for me to keep it up. I've gone weeks without taking anything, and like the past couple weeks...I'm the walking dead. It's horrible. I stopped taking anything now, except for weekends, because I'm too tired to do anything. I think I should go to rehab. Get me off carbs, and caffeine. Anyone wanna go with? You can get some R&R and make fun of me.

It use to be that working out gave me energy, but now that doesn't even work. I thought it was because I was working out during the day so I was so tired at night, well I'm working out afternoon, and night, and Have energy for the few hours after but thats it.

No bother, tomorrow I'm gonna win the mega millions, and have all the fat sucked off of me, and get some botox, a boob lift, and trainers, and chefs. Life will be swell then. That is, after I buy my own island, where I will live my days out with that cute boy I love.

Tomorrow I'm goin to Halloweekends at Cedar Point with my girlfriend and her coworkers. It sure wasn't scarey going w/the manfriend last year, cus he's a big strong man. I might be scared going with girls. *gulp* If a monster eats me, or I'm thrown from a ride, my millions will go to my cats, like any other respectable single girl with 4 cats would do.

Someone better ride the Wildcat with me. It's only my favorite roller coaster. Even if it is for sissies! And this is the most scarey thing, evah! It goes 120 mph in 4 seconds! vrooooooom!!

Adverse Reaction....

I've decided that I'm having more than just "a" side effect from my birth control. I've started cramping in my ovaries in the evenings. Dizzy spells. Nausea. Now, I have some sort of rash on my face, it's not just acne...It's a full blown rash, and it's affecting all my skin. I've never had a problem my entire life. This morning? I woke up and my upper lip is swollen bad enough that my coworkers can tell, I can barely smile, and its hurting my gums. What......the fuck? This is the only thing different I have done in the past 3 weeks.

Today's mission? Calling my old Dr. (that delivered me.....) and seeing what he can do about getting me a new prescription. Hoping he can get my records from PP. I am not going thru another exam. I was run thru the gammit with all the scraping and swabing for the tests I had done. My va-jay-jay is closed for that sorta business. I'll make payments, I'll pay full price monthly for the pills, whatever. I cannot live my life looking like such a freak. I apologize to the freaks out there, but I can't do it. PP doesn't have any of the other three pills I have tried with no problem in the 17 years I've been on the pill, and they don't write scripts, you have to buy from them. Wish me luck. Not like I can just stop taking the pill either, so until I get something else, I suffer. *sigh*

I'm at work last night, minding my bizness, as I always do, and I hear my name. CP was there. Waving at me. I gathered that he was there to visit my supervisor, as she was also his supervisor when he worked there. I know he isn't trying to get his job back, because that would just be silly, right? Not to mention, he up and quit one day with no notice, so I doubt they will hire him back. Then he emailed me today to say it was nice seeing me. Said something about being beautiful as ever and that he meant it in a friendly way. I dunno kids.... That doesn't sound friendly to me? I mean I'm only super duper, head over heels in love with someone else! So, no worries!

Got my stats for week before last. I made over $100 more in one week than at the police station. I smell financial freedom on the horizon!

I get to see that boy who invades my brain, and makes me crazy tonight! Yippppeeeee! I absolutely cannot wait to feel him. Ugh. Just the thought makes me nuts! I might have to jump him right away..... For some reason it feels like it's been for-ev-er! Let's see in 6 months, if the boy still has no problem with my sexual appetite, he said he has no problem with it. It's been my experience that boys tire of my sexual prowess.

P.S. My new favorite thing to eat is cottage cheese, peas, and sunflower seeds. I know it may sound gross, but it's actually quite good. One of my VP's eats the peas and cottage cheese every day. See if this helps me meet my 51lb weight loss goal on Friday! I've had way too much bread in the past few weeks, so I'm not having my delicious breakfast sandwhich. *sigh*

I Need To Find A....

Thank's to my friend Kat, for burning me the Bloodhound Gang CD. Unfortunatly, this is all that is going through my head:

You know what I really want in a girl? Me.
I need to find a New Vagina
Any kinda New vagina
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina
Calvin Klein? kinda, North Carolina

I don't think it's really socially acceptable to walk around singing songs about vagina's. Good thing being, WG told me there is nothing wrong with the one I already have.

New Texas Chainsaw Massacre coming out, next fall!!!! Yesss....And, since I was up all night for the nookie, I don't remember the rest! I got my new Entertainment Weekly, lots of new scary movies coming out in 2006! Someones remaking 'The Hills Have Eyes' and 'When a Stranger Calls'. It'll ROCK! There was more but as I said, I can't remember. Minds clouded!

For some reason, WG and me couldn't get in sync at all!!
I think it's the univers's of showing me that no, we are not the perfect couple, and we have problems too! WG said it makes us more perfect. I might agree. It shows me that normal people, have disagreements, and can get back to loving each other after talking it out. I swear, this communication thing is really a new concept for me! But I like it!

All in all, the wknd was fun. We are still learning about each other. That is part of relationships I spose! We went to a party Sat night after the ghost hunt. I didn't want to go cus he was really tired and wanted to go home. But he insisted that we go to make me happy, I said I wanna go home so YOU are happy! Imagine that! We ended up staying up til around 5am, talking. He was hurt I had said something to a friend, and it got back to him.

There was an altercation at the party w/Tayray and winnie the pooh, which is just funny to say! Tigger was the cause of it. Too bad Christopher Robin wasn't there to smooth things over for everyone! Bubba had it all planned out, she was gonna throw her coat on poohs head, and throw down!

Kat came over. She gave me the cutest ring, it is almost like the tiffany bubble ring I want. I need to get it resized-I'm not having the girl at work do it, cus she's had my rings over a month now and I havn't gotten them back! I'll take it to Jared for 20 bucks!

We went to try to find my brother, who was nowhere he claims to always be. You cant get hold of him, and he says 'I'm one of 3 places' apparently not.

We walked to get ice cream. It was deliciously yummy! She said, she hadn't been out of the house in over a week, due to playing World of Warcraft. When she saw WG's computer at my house she said 'you can play now, as if I want to play warcraft.
Today's Question:

Whats the thing you are most interested in right now?

I guess it would be getting 10,000 steps a day on my pedometer. That is my one daily goal. I have 44 days to lose 20 lbs. Mind over matter, mind over matter! Keep onnnnnn keepin on!