MY PSA for the biggest drinking day of the year....

If I'm being thankful...I suppose I could start with saying, I'm thankful I didn't die, or kill anyone two months ago when I decided to drive after having a few drinks. And got a DUI.

I won't lie and say it was the first time I ever did it. Which I'm sure many people can also relate too. But it is the first time I got caught.

Ah, yes, it all makes sense now, right? This happened the same night I had my purse stolen. And let me attest, that getting arrested in your bridesmaid dress, with no shoes on, is definately not awesome!

It's just not something I was ready to talk about for a while. And other than its wrong, here are some reasons you should not drink and drive. Especially not in a podunk town where its the only thing they have to do and they treat you like dog shit. My biggest gripe is that if I'd been caught in an actual city, they would've still treated me with some sort of respect, and let me get my shoes and purse from my car.

• They tow your car. And if you have ever watched parking wars on A&E they really do make it impossible to get your car back. It took two days and a billion trips between the tow company, police station, and BMV.
  
• You miss a lot of work
• You have to find a ride everywhere
• You lose your lisence. For 6 months.
• You have to have those bright yellow plates on your car, that scream "im a drunk" because many people dont know that you do in fact, get these the first time.
• You have to park 2 miles from work to avoid embaressment
• You get an interlock device on your car, that you have to breathe into all the freaking time. Which you also have the honor of paying a monthly fee for.
• You have an interlock device on your car, that adds time to your coming/going to work, and driving in between because it is annoying and causes you undue stress.
• You have an interlock device on your car, even though you are only permitted to drive to and from work. Because everyone that gets a DUI gets drunk before work, right?
  
• You pay a buttload of fines
• You have to go to court. A LOT.
• You have to pay for every peice of documentation that they make you have
• You have to renew two sets of liscense plates in order not to lose your personalized plates
• You have to go to a 3 day driver intervention program at a stupid rehab center, and receive an alchohol asessment.
  
• You have to go to 3 days in jail directly after 3 days in your intervention program with "non violent criminals" which is still jail, and they will still look in my butthole upon arrival for contraband.
• You have to carry high risk car insurance
• You have to plan any drinking you still want to do. For instance, if I drink at 6:00 on a weekday I cant drink past 9:00 or I run the risk of still blowing a positive BAC test on my interlock and can't go to work the next day. So pretty much, just drink on Friday since you cant drive on the weekend anyway.
• Yes that includes having a measley glass of wine, because I'm paranoid. If you get one fail you automatically lose your liscense for a year.
  
• You learn how to get around in cabs
  
• You have to pay $500 to get your liscense back.
• You pay around $2000 in fines on top of all the other crap you pay for
  
• You pay for your "intervention" program too, which is $350 bucks
• You get to spend your vacation days in jail! And eat free food!
• You learn to say "I can't come to your get together" a whole lot.

What I don't understand is how people become offenders more than once. Lesson learned? Uh, yea. And as my mom likes to point out at least I didn't hurt anyone. Yes...yes. You know buzzed driving is drunk driving! At least in the eyes of the law.

And I might as well share this on the interwebs because my personal account of information is among very few out there. I have had the hardest time finding information. And the laws have changed so drastically since anyone I know has gotten in this sorta trouble.

I mean, clearly, I am investing in a portable breathalyzer, and making everyone test before they drive their cars. One drink is too many, and trust me, no one cares how often, or how much you drink or had to drink, if you fail a breathalyzer.

One thing I did learn, is it is wiser to refuse to take a breath test, and plead no contest in court, because then there is no evidence. And you will lose your liscense 6 months either way.

It was always my understanding you should never refuse the test. You learn these things after the fact. You're welcome.