Burns and Burrrrrns...

Friday I went tanning as is the norm. I felt a burning under my boobs, and when I reached under them, found a foreign substance that was psychodelic green. (from the tanning lights) I rolled over the side of the bed to investigate what I'd just pulled out of my boobs, and it was a banana pepper.

From my five dollar footlong. Boobs are good for pretty much one thing. Catching food and drink.

Turns out, you shouldnt go tanning with banana peppers stuck to your boobs, because it produces painful welts. Yea, I got em. They are raw, and hurt.

My girlfriend ran into the ex husband this weekend. He told her he still thinks about me and about how he messed up.

Certainly must suck to harbor all that guilt for 11 years. You would think it would make me feel good, in a way it does. It helps fuel the "its not you its me" theme that runs through my relationships.

Have I mentioned what a super duper skank he married? Cus he totally downgraded, not only is she skanky, shes an ugly person. I am so freaking sweet I can hardly stand myself!

• I drank a bottle of captain morgans this weekend and never got a buzz. I think this might signify I drink too much.

• Had a yardsale with my mom. I made 10 bucks. Seven of it was from one of my girlfriends. I made like 10 cents an hour to bake in the sun.