So, I'm going to win the mega millions tonight. When I got my winning ticket at the gas station last night the machine announced "winner, winner" and that's the truth. Something was "wrong" with it, and the lady told me that, and handed me my ticket.
Im thinking yea, whats wrong is it told me I was going to win so I could dream all about it last night!
First, I'm getting a lawyer.
Second, I'm scheduling my vacation, that I'm already owed, so obviously that's why I didn't take it, I was waiting to become a millionaire.
Third, I'm getting my passport, so I can go to Australia, and visit the great barrier reef, and Kangaroo island!
Fourth I'll come back and pay all my bills
Fifth, I'll move in 2.2 seconds, once the city gets wind of my income, they'll surely double tax me and put me back into the same predicament!
Sixth I'll buy a house in Charleston, SC, and that's where I'll summer. But I'll stay in Ohio. It's the heart of it all.
Seventh, I'll get a boob job, cus my boobs need to get to work.
Eighth I'll build a farm, and commence buying every animal I ever wanted.
Ninth, I'll hire a bunch of people to be on poop patrol. Cus, that's the crappy part of having pets. Crappy. Ha.
Tenth I'll not give any money away. Because I'm honest.
Eleventh, maybe I'll stop eating everything in sight. Stress eating has really taken a toll on me!
I am packing on pounds I feel it!!!
3 comments:
The thoughts of winning huge amount of money really tempts me these days, I'm gonna splurge on super fancy private beach house probably on top of the hill somewhere.
"twelfth, ok maybe i'll just give a little to becky. because she's so becky."
hee and also! my boobs should get to work too. lazy sunsabitches.
wait how are you going to win it win i'm going to win it?
ok, ok, we can share.
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